Estimated reading time: 14 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: Long time, first time, you know the drill. I want you to settle something for me and my friends. We've been arguing about the whole 'who's the most attractive to women' and we're getting nowhere. My position is that women are more attracted to bodies than guys think. I can't on Instagram without seeing my female friends openly drooling over some gym bro with 8% body fat. Meanwhile if you were to ask them, they'd say it's not about their lo...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Estimated reading time: 16 minutes Dear Doctor NerdLove, Long time reader and bona-fide straight woman here. Something struck me in your latest column, 'What Makes A Man Attractive to Women?' The LW lists examples of 'unattractive' men that masc-attracted women 'claim' are hot to illustrate their question. This time, it was Pete Davidson (I only get the appeal in the academic sense there, so I sort of understand the LW's confusion) and 'that guy from The Bear.' And it honestly took me a sec...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Last week, I wrote about how being nice wasn't enough, in and of itself. This kicked off a number of discussions, one of which focused around the idea of self-acceptance. After all, I've made it a point that self-acceptance is important and how believing in magic cures can actually hinder you in your progress when it comes to any sort of self-improvement. At the same time however, it brings up the question: doesn't needing to be more than just nice conflict with the idea of self-acceptance...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's in his late 20s, chronically single and running out of time to reach his dream of marrying young and starting a large family. What should he do?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's got tons of female friends who think he's an amazing catch... but none of the single ladies around seem to agree. Why is he always getting shot down in flames?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He knows he shouldn't, but he keeps reading about how older virgins like him shouldn't date. How can he keep social media from destroying his confidence?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: A common truism you hear a lot about dating is 'You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else'. I'm bringing that up so I can tie dating to something I want to pick your brain on, which is about self-love. I find the messaging around how one should feel about themselves to be confusing to navigate. One hand, it's generally understood one should learn to be humble and self-critical, because the mind is naturally biased towards itself and will resist he...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
It seems like everyone's trying to be happy. Happiness is constantly marketed to us as a goal that we need to reach. Are you happy? Are you happy right now? No? Well that's a problem! Buy this product and you'll be happy. Drink this. Eat that. Join this club. Live this lifestyle. Buy this book with a special, one-of-a-kind lesson taught from uber-spiritual Lamas. The problem is that happiness is kind of like The Force. You do... or you do not. There is no try. In fact, trying to be happy...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Ah, I see it's that time of year again. Normally on Fridays, I run questions for Ask Dr. NerdLove and help you — and folks like you — solve your dating dilemmas. But occasionally… well, occasionally I get a letter that requires a much deeper dive than most. And then occasionally I get ones like today's, which happen so regularly that you can actually measure the intervals between them and count down to when I'll get the next. Like the monarch butterflies traveling to Mexico and swallows...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
I spend a lot of time working with men who want to get better at dating women. This ranges from guys who're trying to recover from a bad break-up, guys who spend so much time in the Friend Zone that they could run for political office there and even men who've never so much as held hands with someone, never mind asked a woman out on a date. In all that time I've noticed something important: The men who struggle the most with dating always — always — ask the wrong question. Every single t...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's told he's a catch and women like him, yet he's sitting by himself while other men are getting approached. What is he doing wrong?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Every woman he meets on dating apps ghosts him after he tells them what he does for work. Does he need to find a better job or is there another option?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
