There comes a point in every relationship where you have to have an awkward or intimidating conversation you'd rather avoid. There's no getting around it. No relationship you'll ever have, whether it's with friends, family or lovers, will be without problems. If you've got two (or more) humans together, conflict is pretty much inevitable. It's easy in the early days, when great sex, or even just the thrill and novelty of a new relationship can paper over a lot of sins. When you're busy bang...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the weird things that comes up when you write about topics like sex, self-improvement or relationships is how often you face the question of whether or not to mine your own life for content. On the one hand, it's one of the oldest and hoariest cliches for columnists and essayists to use their own lived experiences as fodder for material. It can feel... well, kinda hacky in some ways. It can feel as though you're trying to sell the idea that you live this crazy, adventurous or glamorous...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Emotional intelligence is one of those traits that tends to be woefully underdeveloped in men. Call it part of the toxic masculinity package; when things like 'having feelings' are treated as a weakness, men are taught to bottle them up and pretend they don't exist. It's not terribly surprising. After all, what's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear 'get in touch with your emotions'? In all likelihood, it's an absurd image of men sitting in a circle, crying like little girls ((No,...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Last week, I wrote about how being nice wasn't enough, in and of itself. This kicked off a number of discussions, one of which focused around the idea of self-acceptance. After all, I've made it a point that self-acceptance is important and how believing in magic cures can actually hinder you in your progress when it comes to any sort of self-improvement. At the same time however, it brings up the question: doesn't needing to be more than just nice conflict with the idea of self-acceptance...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: A common truism you hear a lot about dating is 'You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else'. I'm bringing that up so I can tie dating to something I want to pick your brain on, which is about self-love. I find the messaging around how one should feel about themselves to be confusing to navigate. One hand, it's generally understood one should learn to be humble and self-critical, because the mind is naturally biased towards itself and will resist he...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
