I love Fight Club. The book and the movie. In the middle of the macho posturing and the My First Anarchist Manifesto, it so neatly captures the angst of people who recognize that there's something missing in their lives and not knowing what the hell to do about it. We feel confused and lost and directionless and so we try to cover it all up by getting obsessed with things that we don't actually care about but feel like we should and buy crap we don't really need because we feel like it giv...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Getting better at dating is hard enough. It gets even harder when it feels like your own mind is fighting back against your attempts to improve yourself. When I was younger, I used to be a chronic insomniac. I'd be physically tired, but I could never actually get to sleep; my body would be exhausted but I could never get my brain to quiet down long enough for me to relax and pass out. Every night became an exercise in what I called 'riding the maelstrom' ((Because when you're a young nerd, e...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Guys spend a lot of time worrying about whether they should or shouldn't approach women they're attracted to. It's an incredibly common component of approach anxiety; you want to go introduce yourself to that cute woman you see, but you're afraid of getting rejected or being another unwelcome interruption in her day. But here's a secret you should know: women worry about rejection and humiliation just as much as men do - more so, in many cases, as many men react badly to being approached. A...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Welcome to 2014 folks. It's a new year and ripe for potential and improvement. If you're like most folks, you've made some New Year's resolutions. Perhaps getting better at dating is one of them... Usually around this time, I make my annual tirade about how New Year's resolutions are wastes of time but I want to do things differently. You see, one of the reasons why so many resolutions fail is that you're addressing surface issues rather than the core causes. For example, f you're trying...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Being a man, particularly a straight, cisgendered man, can be a perverse paradox at times. Society caters to us in almost every way imaginable. Even in 2021, as we strive towards greater social and sexual equity for people of different genders and sexualities, straight cis men are very much at the top of the social heap. And yet, men are lonelier and more isolated than ever, feeling not just lost but ignored or cast aside. It seems laughable; society caters to straight men to an absurd deg...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's got tons of female friends who think he's an amazing catch... but none of the single ladies around seem to agree. Why is he always getting shot down in flames?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: A common truism you hear a lot about dating is 'You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else'. I'm bringing that up so I can tie dating to something I want to pick your brain on, which is about self-love. I find the messaging around how one should feel about themselves to be confusing to navigate. One hand, it's generally understood one should learn to be humble and self-critical, because the mind is naturally biased towards itself and will resist he...| Paging Dr. NerdLove