Last month I posted about our power and ability to say both yes and no to others. This morning I’m thinking about another level of yes and no; that is the yes and no we say to life. At this level, the term ‘consent’ is useful. Consent means to “give permission for something to happen,” Exploring an attitude of consent| Harvesting Stones
I haven't very often met a problem in life I couldn't solve. I have moments of bewilderment, of course, but I generally am able to figure out what's not working and how to fix it. At times the fix is so difficult I delay, avoid, deny and procrastinate until I'm forced to take the action Allowing questions to remain unanswered and problems to remain unsolved; the value in no immediate fix| Harvesting Stones
I've been thinking about loyalty recently. Loyalty is one of my bigger rabbit holes. I most often use the term when I'm beating myself up. A nasty little internal voice frequently hisses "Disloyal!" in my ear. This happens so constantly, in fact, that I'm bored. I've decided to unpack the concept of loyalty, spread it What does loyalty really mean? How does it look?| Harvesting Stones
Oxford Online Dictionary lists several meanings for integrity: “The quality of being honest …, the state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified …, internal consistency.” Integrity is an important piece of emotional intelligence. Like success, integrity is a quality we define for ourselves. If we don’t do so, the world is Exploring integrity: what does it mean, and what's included in it? How do we develop our own standards of integrity?| Harvesting Stones
All right. I’m thoroughly exasperated by this “I refuse to live in fear” bullshit. Here’s an open letter to all those wannabe heroes out there. Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” (Oxford Online Dictionary) The ability to Fear is an evolutionary advantage and helps keep us alive| Harvesting Stones
I’ve struggled all my life with confusion about the difference between enabling and love. Most of us think of enabling in the context of addiction, and we’re familiar with the idea that helping an addict avoid the consequences of their addiction is not, in the long run, useful. It’s a pretty clear idea in theory. Enabling: what it is, why we do it, and why it doesn't work| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentThe practice of descansos, making resting places for pieces of our lives and selves that no longer serve| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the benefits of boredom| Harvesting Stones
In the old tales, young women are sent on dangerous quests that involve learning to sort one thing from another. One such teacher is Baba Yaga, about whom I’ve written previously. Baba Yaga is a crone, and when she can be bothered, she teaches too-sweet maidens how to sort poppy seeds from dirt, how to The skill of telling one thing from another, and why it's important| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the traumatic response of fawning, why we do it and how to develop better strategies to feel safe and loved.| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentWhat is gaslighting and what does it look like?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentThinking about labels and the experience and feeling behind them| Harvesting Stones
I recently came across an article in my newsfeed describing several ways in which parents can help kids develop mental strength.| Harvesting Stones
Challenging the limitations and distortions of personal stories| Harvesting Stones
I'm getting ready to turn over the manuscript of my first book to a developmental editor. Getting ready means I'm doing one final read through and combing out overused words and phrases using the search (and destroy) feature in my word processor. Over the months and years I've been working with my book and mastering All the ways our culture teaches women to make themselves small| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentArguing with versus accepting what is| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the complexity of communication| Harvesting Stones
One of the most important distinctions I’ve ever learned is the difference between thoughts and feelings. Sadly, I didn’t learn it in public school or higher education. I didn’t learn it from my family. I didn’t learn it from my culture. I didn’t learn it, in fact, until I was 50 years old. What I Separating out thoughts from our feelings; recognizing they may not reflect present reality; taking responsibility for our feeling lives without blaming others| Harvesting Stones