It’s been a week of ups and downs, a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions. Let’s start with the good, the ups. After mostly failing at a do-nothing day (link here to blog post), I listened to some of the advice received (thank you!) and tried again. No, not a completely do-nothing day, … Continue reading The Good, The Bad, The Ugly| retirementtransition
It’s been a few weeks since my last post. The forward momentum on the house (we finally got a build permit) grounded to a halt with immediate complications due to incompetency and vandalism. Thing…| retirementtransition
Cute Little Thing — but NOT a Gaslighter One of the words that has surged in popularity in the last four years is the word “gaslighting”. I think the reason for this is that since the pandemic, the popularity of the technique among politicians has also surged. I can remember working on timber issues back … Continue reading Gaslighting and Psychopaths – Back to Basics| It's About Empathy – Connection Ties Us Together
Image from the Grayson Perry exhibition at the Wallace Collection, October 2025 A short post, as I struggle not just for time at the moment but to find the mental resources to commit ideas to writi…| Making rights make sense
Some people will doubt you before they even know your name. They’ll dismiss your vision with a smirk. They’ll label your dream as “unrealistic” before they’ve even asked a single question. Every entrepreneur meets them: the skeptics. And if you’re not careful, you might spend your energy trying to prove them wrong instead of building…| rochemamabolo
People will misunderstand you. Some will underestimate you. And a few will dismiss you outright. That’s fine. Not everything deserves a response. Not every voice deserves your energy. When you’re building something meaningful, noise comes with the territory. The most elegant way to silence noise isn’t to argue with it, it’s to grow past it.…| rochemamabolo
We live in a world that glorifies the spotlight. Loud launches, big stages, bright lights, viral posts, they make success look like something that happens out there, where everyone can see it. But the truth is quieter. Real strength is forged in the shadows. In the places where no one is clapping. In the long…| rochemamabolo
When people think you’re not as sharp, not as capable, or not as aware as you truly are, they lower their guard. They relax. They reveal things they wouldn’t reveal to someone they see as a threat. That’s your advantage, not their insult. To be underestimated is to be given a quiet corner to build…| rochemamabolo
There’s a quiet kind of strength in being underestimated. When people assume you are not as sharp, not as aware, or not as capable as you truly are, they unknowingly give you the gift of invisibility. And in that space, unbothered by the noise, free from expectations, unseen by competing egos, you gain the power…| rochemamabolo
There’s something profoundly beautiful about the idea that your soul leaves fingerprints. Not just the physical traces, the warmth of a handshake, the way a pen curves under your fingers, the soft …| rochemamabolo
For years—almost a decade—I got up extra-early (4:30 am on workdays, a little later on weekends), poured myself a glass of homemade cold-brew coffee, and wrote my version of Julia Cameron’s m…| From the Pen Cup
Discover the true meaning of “jememôtre,” its origins, benefits, and how to practice it daily. Embrace self-mastery and mindful living with jememôtre.| Baddiehu
Saying the SEND system is in crisis is no great reveal; it is proving ruinously expensive while failing to deliver either improved experiences or outcomes. One consequence of its long-term failure has been great antagonism between families and schools, with the idea parents must fight tooth and nail for the support their child needs now […]| Ben Newmark
I’m just back from an awesome trans healthcare conference in Norway (blog on that to follow). Here I wanted to share information from a presentation by the founder of the transit trans healthcare service in Catalonia (Barcelona region), Spain. Transit is respected across the world for being a service that is leading the field in … Continue reading Trans health waiting lists are a political choice| Growing Up Transgender
As always, thank you to everyone who sent in questions; you make my life so much easier. Chairman Mao says, your diligent striving to increase quality outputs will be rewarded with… sunflowers? Some kind of cabbage? Whatever, you’ll eat it and like it, Citizen! Pickle Rick asks: Bolton just got hit with 18 charges. Serious? … Continue reading "Friday Mailbag"| Founding Questions
Or, anyway, an initial stab at it. Much like the glossary and the recommended reading list, both of which seemed like good ideas at the time, but need far more maintenance than I have given them… well, you see where this is going. Nonetheless, I’m going to take a stab at it. But first: Why? … Continue reading "A Field Guide to Salon Tense (preliminary remarks)"| Founding Questions
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” — Leo Tolstoy Ten years ago, I was a 42-year-old, overworked, stressed-out man and about 20 pounds over my desired weight of 165, something I felt every time I went for a run. I worked in a place where I couldn’t see … Continue reading The Questions We Don’t Ask — And Why They Matter, Part 10→| Thoughts about leadership, history, and more
There’s something that I learned later in my entrepreneurship journey and that many entrepreneurs only realise after years of trial and error: a business should fit who you are, not just what…| rochemamabolo
A couple of days ago I spoke with a friend who was troubled by the case of Adam Raine, the sixteen-year-old who was counseled by a ChatGPT AI therapy chatbot into killing himself. That was of…| Letters to Creationists
Fear-based leadership may achieve short-term compliance but damages culture, trust, and performance in the long run. This leadership style breeds insecurity, stifles creativity, and disengages employees, resulting in talent loss and distorted communication. Organizations must foster psychological safety, prioritize identity-first leadership, and reevaluate their leadership practices to break this destructive cycle.| The Influence Journal | Leadership, Trust, and the Psychology of Culture
This article examines the detrimental impact of toxic bosses on employee well-being and provides practical strategies for navigating such challenging situations. It explores learned helplessness, o…| The Influence Journal | Leadership, Trust, and the Psychology of Culture
The UK Government and UK research councils have contributed £10 million pounds to a series of research studies on service users of the newly established Children and Young People’s Gender Services.…| Growing Up Transgender
To answer today’s question, I need to go back to 12 October 2022, the day I sat down with a doctor for my final medical exam before retirement. Until that point, I thought I was indestructible. Sure, there was always a pain here or there, but like we say in the Army, we just need … Continue reading The Questions We Don’t Ask — And Why They Matter, Part 7→| Thoughts about leadership, history, and more
I was asked if I was excited about getting the house build permit. But it wasn’t a feeling of excitement. It was a feeling of relief. Finally, we could move forward. I’m not sure why I feel guilty …| retirementtransition
Workplace trauma broke my trust. I'm working to rebuild it.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
I owe it to myself to tell my story.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
Burnout is difficult and everyone experiences it differently.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
It's hard to code when you deal with chronic illnesses or disabilities. Here's what I try to do when those things start to get in the way.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
I freeze up when overwhelmed by too many things to do. Here's how I start to work through the paralyzation.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
Life is really hard sometimes. We're all going through something. You're not alone.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
Listen to your body. It’s very honest about how it’s feeling.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
My dog has nothing to worry about, but it's not like he could do it if that wasn't true.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
I think it's time to stop making people hide in bathrooms in fear of looking unstable for healthy and normal behaviors.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
There are a ton of projects on my to-do list, but it's just been one of those days.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
You and your health are important. If you want to do your job effectively, make sure you're taking breaks.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
We all feel pressure to make things perfect, but don't let it crush you. There are alternatives we can work with.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
The unknown is absolutely terrifying, probably because we can't control what we don't know. But that's OK.| Posts by Ashlee M Boyer
Darkness often feels like defeat. When the lights go out, when the client cancels, when sales dip and cash dries up, it feels like an ending. Yet, what if it isn’t? What if the dark is not a grave …| rochemamabolo
It’s tempting, when we see someone stuck or wandering, to point out the path we think they should take. We want to spare them pain, shortcut the confusion, and share what worked for us. But life do…| rochemamabolo
Life is indeed a game, and one of its oldest and most enduring games is the status game. From the dusty playground of a township school to the glass boardrooms in Sandton, from a family gathering i…| rochemamabolo
There’s a kind of magic in assets. They are like invisible employees, tireless, faithful, and loyal. They show up every morning without asking for transport money, they don’t complain about the wea…| rochemamabolo
Yesterday as I was scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon an ad for a service called Tolan; an artificial intelligence platform that pitched itself as your new best friend. “Talk to us about whatever,” the ad said. That couldn’t be real… right? I clicked the link, half-expecting it to be a parody. But no, […]| The Dagmar Perspective
Random forwards from social media, especially these days when stuff is being augmented by AI, is simply not appreciated.| Claudette | Writer of Words etc
Two years ago, at a conference I described the process my wife and I went through to get our daughter her EHCP. I used a phrase familiar to those of us with children who find life harder and need m…| Ben Newmark
I believe we lighting people have a tendency to mix or confuse Human Centric Lighting with Circadian Supportive Lighting. It was a point well-made by a lecturer at the recent Cleveland Electric Exp…| Lighting by Jeffrey
Amid these times of continuous disruption and tumultuous change upon change, what defines a Future-fit Leader is the capacity to ‘dance with change’ rather than struggle against it. The good news is that the wisdom we need to thrive amid rising complexity is all around and within us, accessible for free, at any time, and […]| The Nature of Business
I learnt a new acronym yesterday: SWAN. It stands for Syndromes Without A Name. The term specifically refers to undiagnosed genetic conditions which are variously described as ‘global development delay’, ‘complex needs’ or more generally as unspecified learning/physical disabilities. I imagine that having an undiagnosed genetic condition, or having a child without a diagnosis, makes … Continue reading What’s in a name?| Matthew Evans
I love words, so when I read new phrases, I often will delve deeper into them. Recently I saw the terms “optimization culture” and “serious hobbying” which took me down a rabbit hole into cultural definitions in today’s world. “Optimization Culture” is an aspect of the Hustle Culture mindset, which is opposite of a Leisure … Continue reading Retirement – Switching from Hustle Culture to Leisure Culture| retirementtransition
A few weeks ago, Sue over on Women Living Well After 50 (link here) said, “Acceptance isn’t resignation”. She was challenging us to explore where we needed to adjust our wellbeing routines,…| retirementtransition
1. “I told you so” Polite: “This outcome is consistent with our earlier discussions.” 2. “That’s not my problem.” Polite: “That falls outside my current scope of responsibility.” 3. “You messed up.…| rochemamabolo
Shot of two coworkers talking together while sitting in an office We live in a world that worships the sharp tongue and the quick reply. A world that rewards the loudest voice in the meeting, the w…| rochemamabolo
Aug. 15, 2025 (Spaceweather.com): Solar activity might be doing more than sparking auroras. A new study in Communications Medicine suggests it could be nudging your blood pressure, too. Researchers…| Spaceweather.com
Autism and I are always underestimated and treated like a child, especially by people who don’t know me. I get it! I am a bundle of contradictions. I can read and understand novels like To Kill A Mockingbird, yet I also read Dr. Seuss books. I love watching adult movies and shows with my family, […]| The Autistic Mind Finally Speaks
As I look at the words in my morning journal the past few months, my emotional healing challenge is obvious: Shattered and scattered. Disheartened. Anxiously waiting. Slogging through the mud. Hard to get out of bed. I am learning to live in a world that spins on while mine feels like it has stopped. Other’s lives … Continue reading My Inner Fight Continues| retirementtransition
This week continued my emotional healing process. With no forward motion yet on the house recovery, the emotional healing is definitely feeling up and down. There’s been multiple times where my inn…| retirementtransition
Two therapy dogs, Ghillie and Cecilia, getting ready for a child client One of the most frustrating parts of what I write about is getting people to realize that they don’t know stuff, and th…| It's About Empathy - Connection Ties Us Together
Most businesses are trained to chase efficiency, margins, and growth. Caring often looks like an “extra” something you do after you’ve hit your sales target. But the irony is this: when you genuine…| rochemamabolo
Why are Americans traveling to Costa Rica to drink a hallucinogenic brew? Kinga Philipps joined them to find out.| InsideHook
Every so often, I go on a digital spring cleaning spree—taking stock of how I’ve been using technology, deciding what feels manageable, tightening privacy settings, and clearing out digital c…| Retirement Reflections
Last Thursday, I mentioned a little project I’ve taken on, inspired by a post from Dr. Gerald Stein titled “The Questions We Don’t Ask.” Sometimes we’re quick to judge others, or place expectations…| Thoughts about leadership, history, and more
I love coding. I love writing. I love writing about coding, as evidenced by the archives of this blog and the multiple tech books I have written. I’ve always prided myself on being able to explain things clearly. I have a unique ability to identify the order in which to teach concepts. I have enough five star reviews on my books to know that there are plenty of readers out there who agree with me.| Dusty Phillips Codes
Thanks as always to everyone who sent in questions. Please, take a medal from the barrel. Nate Winchester brings us a graphic of note: There it is. It’s important to note that this is “…| Founding Questions
In the early days of my retirement, I read about the concept of morning pages in Julia Camerson’s The Artist Way. In the way of many things in retirement, I “tried it on.” It stuck. I’ve been an avid morning journal writer ever since. My morning journal time has become almost necessary to my well-being … Continue reading Stop the Broken Record| retirementtransition
Given the current state of America — polarized politics, climate anxiety, technological overload, and an ever-spinning wheel of noise — have you ever wondered what it might be like to walk away? To…| Atkins Bookshelf
I’ve been walking around as a head without a body for quite a while now. I wish someone would have said something to me because surely it was noticeable. “Hey! You forgot to put a body with that head of yours!” Are people in this town really too shy to bring such things to a […]| Chasing Mailboxes
What was meant to unite us, our voices, our platforms, our digital commonsm, has, in so many ways, driven us apart. Once, we looked into another’s eyes and asked, “How are you, really?” Now we look…| rochemamabolo
At the start of this month, Bridget Phillipson made a speech to school leaders from the Midlands, about what she called her “mission” to improve attendance. This is what motivates her, she declared…| John Cosgrove
“Zen is often associated with the concept of peace, particularly inner peace, tranquility, and a state of calm attentiveness.” I was not Zen this morning at my 9 am doctor’s appoi…| From the Pen Cup
Sometimes, the most successful entrepreneurs I’ve met carry a quiet ache. They’ve mastered the art of showing up, of pushing through, but not necessarily the art of healing. And it shows, not alway…| rochemamabolo
Conversations about special educational needs are already tough and I predict they are about to get even more difficult. Two opposing paradigms are on a collision course. The first holds that devel…| Ben Newmark
There’s a quiet truth we often resist, especially in a world that celebrates self-made success and solo journeys: We need each other. Not out of weakness, but out of design. From a psychological pe…| rochemamabolo
Leaving.. (17 June 2025) The only time I have left my family for an extended period, in 22 years was to volunteer at the London Olympics in 2012. I was away for ten days then. Today I hugged my thr…| Hayley Lever
I’ve always been the good girl. The one who “meets or exceeds expectations” in corporate speak. I believe in doing the right thing. I play by the rules; I don’t make waves. I accommodate other’s ne…| retirementtransition
Welcome (or welcome back!) to On the Commons. Here, we explore questions as varied (but related) as: Why are 3 little-known 15th-century papal bulls still being weaponized against Indigenous sovere…| Antonia Malchik
Introduction – World Brain Tumor Day will be celebrated annually on June 8 across the world to raise awareness about the harmful effects of brain tumors and also provide support to those patie…| daneelyunus
If you’re like most organizations, you may have spent a lot of time in the past year processing change: a reorganization, adapting to new priorities, or facing unexpected challenges. In my ex…| Karen Alma
Wendy Hui Kyong Chun Our moment seems marked by cruelty: from best-selling books warning Christians against “toxic empathy” towards immigrant families to online trolls who gleefully torture their v…| In the Moment
Various recent conversations, experiences and developments, positive and negative have prompted me to write this post about #SocialCareFuture, the movement I helped to kickstart and which I still c…| Making rights make sense
A personal essay over the deep comfort of engaging with art studies as a way to distract oneself from stress and grief.| Paula Kuitenbrouwer
Burnout often stems from a lack of purpose and agency, not just workload. Empowering teams with meaningful tasks and autonomy fosters motivation and connection to their work.| Terrible Software
Last fall, my son took a full course load at our local community college. I had a big calendar on the fridge with his college schedule to manage the driving responsibilities and juggle his other ap…| The Autism College Connection
Do you ever find yourself suddenly in a completely different mood and it’s not just a switch up from dance party for 1 to sobbing in bed but consistent? Or more consistent? Because that’s been me lately! And yes, the dance party is also from personal experience too. One random weeknight I was in the … Continue reading A Change Of Seasons| The Caffeinated Bookworm Life
I've struggled with focus earlier this year. I felt pulled in all directions, overwhelmed by the world, and generally miserable. I decided to abstain from using social media for a week to see if anything would change. The Joy of Missing Out was so strong that I ended up staying off social media for 3 whole weeks. I realized that engaging with social media harmed my mental health, and I could develop strategies to improve my relationship with it.| ergaster.org
I’ve just listened to Rachel Reeves trying to justify planned cuts to disability benefits on the Today programme by relying on the ‘disabled people want to work and the system writes th…| Making rights make sense
Disclaimer: Trigger warning: depression, talk of suicide. It’s been a while since I wrote a mental health piece — but I think it’s important to occasionally stop, take a breather, and think about h...| fasterthanli.me
A school taking its pupils ski-ing is wonderful. Neither I, nor I hope anyone else, would ever have a problem with it. What I do, however, have a problem with, a big problem, is a school with the a…| John Cosgrove
“Without reform more people will be locked out of jobs, despite many wanting to work.” – UK Government commenting on an article about increased spending on Personal Independence Payment…| Making rights make sense
Last month I visited a family member in Saint Petersburg, Florida. When I was out walking in the neighborhood, I saw signage for a shop that piqued my curiosity. It offered cannabis products, which…| Letters to Creationists
Faint but there: Moonbow In late 2016, a . . . situation, let’s call it, battered my town. A neo-Nazi site had picked up a disagreement over a local building’s ownership, and the result was months …| Antonia Malchik
It’s easy to get caught up in where we want to be, as opposed to where we are. For example, when I paint – I get hyper-focused on the end result and forget to notice the process itself.…| Karen Alma
Much of the college search and application process is the same whether your student is neurotypical, has learning differences, or has autism. All families have to make tough choices and fill out multiple applications. Last week, Josephine Vonarburg discussed the application process during our evening webinar. (Link to the YouTube video here). However, families with students […]| The Autism College Connection
Your child could be eligible for financial support from the state and federal government. If eligible, those funds can be used for education, therapy, recreation, day programs, doctor’s appointments, and more. Other funds might go to the parents to coordinate the care of their young adults. Getting through the process is a massive endeavor. It […]| The Autism College Connection
01/15/25: I took this post down a few days ago because upon rereading it, I was not sure that I had really sent the message I wished to. At the time, I was not completely satisfied with it. I had d…| The Beginning At Last
“The social care sector is on its last legs. Without urgent action, there will be nothing left to reform.” Dr Jane Townson, CEO, Homecare Association We begin 2025 much as we have the past decade w…| Making rights make sense
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers support to those in emotional distress. Here’s what happens if you call.| Cleveland Clinic
Last week, NICE echoed its earlier position on the Alzheimer’s drug lecenamab and advised that the benefits of donanemab did not, based on current evidence outweigh the costs of making it available on the NHS concluding that ‘The costs of providing donanemab, including regular infusions and intensive monitoring for serious side effects, balanced against the […]| Making rights make sense
Franco “Bifo” Berardi We require just a little order to protect us from chaos. Nothing is more distressing than a thought that escapes itself. . . . We constantly lose our ideas. . . . We ask only that our … Continue reading →| In the Moment
This is my second blog on the topic of ‘the meaning of life’. In the first blog, I discussed the difference between meaning-as-intention and meaning-as-significance, and I argued that ‘life’ is rea…| Bernard Andrews' Blog
Last week I was lucky enough to be a guest on Woman’s Hour, discussing the transition that mothers of teens go through, a little like Matrescence (the new motherhood transition), Demetrescence is the metamorphosis that mothers of tweens and teens transition through, which changes them in body and in mind.| Sarah Ockwell-Smith
