Even the most articulate and hard-working of us may find we cannot erase the imprint of a parent who was too busy or depressed to notice us or who seemed to consider us a burden. We then interpret this as our caregiver wishing we’d never been born. When we internalise such stances, our shame, if it could speak, would repeatedly tell us that “the world would be a better place if we were dead”. Our lives change only when we reconstruct the missing inner maps that should have been formed i...| SoberOasis
This tendency to find a solution in punishing others is akin to the man who is looking for his keys on the ground in a busy city street in the dead of night. Down on all fours, searching in vain, he hears the voice of a policeman who has happened upon the scene. "Good evening, Sir. How can I help you?" "Thank you, Constable. I have lost my keys." So, the policeman also gets down on all fours, pulls a flash light from his pocket and joins the search. After ten minutes, they both stand up, perp...| SoberOasis
My new friends in AA suggested placing my focus on what was needed in terms of new behaviours in the light of this discovery. The first, of course, was not to take the first drink. Much more was to come later, in the form of a new design for living as described in the Big Book of AA and summarised in the Twelve Steps. That work is still ongoing today, one day at a time. I also had a bizarre hunch in those first months, one that has been recently confirmed in my heart and soul, without solid e...| SoberOasis
From the child’s perspective we could apply the Zen proverb: `We never step into the same river twice.´ It is not the parent, per say, that determines the experience, but the relationship between the child, at any given moment, and the parenting at that same moment. Each interaction between a parent and any one child is a reprise of stepping into new waters, and for each parent-sibling combination there is a different river. In the overall picture, my impression is that our parents always ...| SoberOasis
In a recent conversation, a newly made acquaintance asked what I did for a living. The answer was Transformation Coaching, for people who have lost their way in life. “In what way?” “It is different in each individual case.” “What brought you to this field of work?” “I lost my way.” “What did that look like?” “The immediate manifestation was substance addiction.” “So, you’re an alcoholic?” “Yes, thankfully now in recovery….” It was a refreshing conversation...| SoberOasis
In our hyper-cerebral, post-modern culture, we may have been looking for answers in the wrong place all along. A fellow recently shared the following acronym during a meeting: FAITH = Finding Answers In The Heart. When we have begun to embrace all that resides within us, and only then, can true healing begin. Everything in there belongs to us. There are no bad parts, only those that pull us towards wholeness and those that would attempt to take us backwards, to the status quo of our early chi...| SoberOasis
Running a small business can be overwhelming. Learn how to prioritise your mental health with simple, intentional steps to improve your wellbeing, boost resilience, and avoid burnout. Download Smiling Mind and MYOB’s Fact Sheet for practical tips for small business owners to manage stress and stay focused.| blog.smilingmind.com.au
Master your triggers and lead with confidence. Learn to stay in control, respond thoughtfully, and overcome emotional hijacks.| Jody Michael Associates
