This tendency to find a solution in punishing others is akin to the man who is looking for his keys on the ground in a busy city street in the dead of night. Down on all fours, searching in vain, he hears the voice of a policeman who has happened upon the scene. "Good evening, Sir. How can I help you?" "Thank you, Constable. I have lost my keys." So, the policeman also gets down on all fours, pulls a flash light from his pocket and joins the search. After ten minutes, they both stand up, perp...| SoberOasis
My new friends in AA suggested placing my focus on what was needed in terms of new behaviours in the light of this discovery. The first, of course, was not to take the first drink. Much more was to come later, in the form of a new design for living as described in the Big Book of AA and summarised in the Twelve Steps. That work is still ongoing today, one day at a time. I also had a bizarre hunch in those first months, one that has been recently confirmed in my heart and soul, without solid e...| SoberOasis
From the child’s perspective we could apply the Zen proverb: `We never step into the same river twice.´ It is not the parent, per say, that determines the experience, but the relationship between the child, at any given moment, and the parenting at that same moment. Each interaction between a parent and any one child is a reprise of stepping into new waters, and for each parent-sibling combination there is a different river. In the overall picture, my impression is that our parents always ...| SoberOasis
In a recent conversation, a newly made acquaintance asked what I did for a living. The answer was Transformation Coaching, for people who have lost their way in life. “In what way?” “It is different in each individual case.” “What brought you to this field of work?” “I lost my way.” “What did that look like?” “The immediate manifestation was substance addiction.” “So, you’re an alcoholic?” “Yes, thankfully now in recovery….” It was a refreshing conversation...| SoberOasis
The only explanation I could find as to why this `unbearability of being´ had become my daily reality was that there must have been something inherently wrong with me. The only alternative explanation, — that my parents were so overwhelmed that they could not meet my basic emotional needs — would have been too much to endure for a child still dependent upon his parents. Add to these internal ruminations the messaging common in any group trying to function as best it can under severe pres...| SoberOasis
In our hyper-cerebral, post-modern culture, we may have been looking for answers in the wrong place all along. A fellow recently shared the following acronym during a meeting: FAITH = Finding Answers In The Heart. When we have begun to embrace all that resides within us, and only then, can true healing begin. Everything in there belongs to us. There are no bad parts, only those that pull us towards wholeness and those that would attempt to take us backwards, to the status quo of our early chi...| SoberOasis
Fr. Greg Boyle S.J. is the founder and director of Homeboy Industries, the world's largest gang intervention and rehabilitation program, and former pastor of Dolores Mission Church in L.A. Many of those who benefit from the services of Homeboy Industries are living, like me, in long-term addiction recovery. As Fr. Greg, or “Gee”, as the hommies like to call him, points out in his most recent book “Cherished Belonging”, morality has not succeeded in making us moral and has, in fact, be...| SoberOasis
As an addict living in recovery since 2003, I have had plenty of opportunities to get to know and interact with people from the many fellowships now providing support to those of us who wish to recover, all around the world. My experience of recovery is that of a transformative shift from fear to love. A major prerequisite for the success of this transformation is the cultivation and practice of compassion: for self, others, and circumstances. The realisation that: `We are as sick as our secr...| SoberOasis
Running a small business can be overwhelming. Learn how to prioritise your mental health with simple, intentional steps to improve your wellbeing, boost resilience, and avoid burnout. Download Smiling Mind and MYOB’s Fact Sheet for practical tips for small business owners to manage stress and stay focused.| blog.smilingmind.com.au
Master your triggers and lead with confidence. Learn to stay in control, respond thoughtfully, and overcome emotional hijacks.| Jody Michael Associates
