Florida to Replace Alligator Alcatraz with Anaconda Azkaban - Miami Creation Myth
"We thoroughly chum the waters to make sure the sharks get anyone who tries to make a swim for it,” said DeSantis with an uncanny smile.| Miami Creation Myth
"We thoroughly chum the waters to make sure the sharks get anyone who tries to make a swim for it,” said DeSantis with an uncanny smile.| Miami Creation Myth
ICE is now accepting any bigot able to fog a mirror, shred a copy of the Constitution, and sign a loyalty oath to their Dear Leader.| Miami Creation Myth
Miamians declared they would gladly take the $840 million as direct payments to help with the city’s crushing affordability crisis.| Miami Creation Myth
It could claim West Point was simply a racist environment that forced me out because I failed to conform. But doing so would paint an incomplete portrait.| Miami Creation Myth
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 5: Reorgy Week| Miami Creation Myth
My parents were shocked when they saw me remerge from the barracks. I was pallid, rail-thin, and wobbly. The post How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 5: Reorgy Week appeared first on Miami Creation Myth.| Miami Creation Myth
The Army takes everything you loved as a child and makes it awful. That's how it turns hiking into its dirty, brutish cousin: rucking. The post How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 4: The Field appeared first on Miami Creation Myth.| Miami Creation Myth
And we’ve come to starvation. Healthy, athletic male college freshmen in industrialized countries tend not to weigh 113 pounds. The post How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 3: Food & Sleep appeared first on Miami Creation Myth.| Miami Creation Myth
Forget whatever bullshit frat boy version of hazing you have in your head. West Point hazing circa 2005 was a creature completely apart. The post How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 2: Hazing & Marching appeared first on Miami Creation Myth.| Miami Creation Myth
“You’re not starving to death,” explained the 22-year-old medic gripping my ankle. “You’re just starving.”| Miami Creation Myth
When a Cuban immigrant was kidnapped and separated from her nursing child, her community rose in righteous anger to do absolutely nothing.| Miami Creation Myth
When they go low, we satirists must wantonly slam our heads into the ground until we tunnel to the other side of the planet. The post The Difficulty of Satirizing MAGA appeared first on Miami Creation Myth.| Miami Creation Myth
I made it, everyone! The Dirty Thirty. The Double Quinceañera. 30,000 pounds of trash.| Miami Creation Myth
Even when injured, dehydrated, moments from heat stroke, one wish kept me from collapsing into the mud forever: selling shirts to papi chulos.| Miami Creation Myth
“I’m the Secretary of State!” yelled a short, tubby man with a Miami accent. He shook his bars as the dozen other people in his cell grinned.| Miami Creation Myth
How do I proceed as a satirist and champion of Miami when well more than half the county fundamentally and sometimes violently disagrees with me?| Miami Creation Myth
I do my work because of its intrinsic pain, anger, frustration, and cathartic release. I do it for the mangroves, but I also do it for myself.| Miami Creation Myth
How can one differentiate between communists and patriots in Miami? Luckily, there are several tell-tale signs.| Miami Creation Myth
Former President and Presently Convicted Felon Donald Trump, shoved a branch into an underground burrow occupied by Governor Ron DeSantis.| Miami Creation Myth
Quit your whining, quit your complaining, and just be glad I don’t send the nearest train to ram right through your front door! You got me!?| Miami Creation Myth
Carollo postponed a judgement to auction his house by declaring his actual place of residence was deep within the bosom of all anticomunistas.| Miami Creation Myth
“The funds are a liberal conspiracy to gayify the state!” cried Purdue, apparently unaware of Florida's infamous resemblance to a dong.| Miami Creation Myth
