#post_contentMinimalism; simplifying our lives is a complex undertaking| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentCelebrating Winter solstice| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentMeditations on the meaning of work; unjobbing| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentComparing unhealthy groups to healthy ones; consistency as an indicator of integrity| Harvesting Stones
One of my favorite things about this land we live on is the old barn. Circa 1832 in the original part, it dwarfs the house and consists of four stories topped by an attic space under the roof. The cellar contains several rough animal stalls and is the occasional residence of a skunk, raccoon, woodchuck Boundary ecstasy; appreciating the spaces between having and doing| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentContinuing to entertain possibility as we age| Harvesting Stones
I’ve noticed that I’ve been using the term “unconditional love” in some of my most recent posts. I wondered why. I’ve never thought much about the term, or what it means, until the last year or so. One of the things I most appreciate about life is the fascinating journey of it all. When I What does unconditional love mean? How do we practice it?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentPracticing sacred dance| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the constructs of winning and losing and how they relate to power and identity| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentThe magic of releasing outcomes| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the concept of dignity: what builds it, what violates it, and why it matters| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentGratitude for the body; sacred dance| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring what toxic mimics are and how they function| Harvesting Stones
My partner and I have been watching back episodes of Nova for several weeks now on PBS. Last evening, as we watched "What’s Living In You?" and "Can We Make Life?" I realized that part of why I like the show so much is that it’s filled with people from all over the world who The excitement and growth in not knowing; questions about people who don't want to know| Harvesting Stones
An article in my news feed caught my eye this week: 7 Psychological Superpowers Few People Have That You Can Use to Set Yourself Apart. It sounded interesting — and it was! The author proposes restraint as a superpower. Oxford Online Dictionary defines restraint as “unemotional, dispassionate or moderate behavior; self-control.” The ability to manage Exploring the practice of restraint. Is social media teaching us restraint doesn't matter?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentWhat is pseudo self and where does it come from?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentUnderstanding, recognizing, and dealing with projection| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentLearning to recognize poisoned bait| Harvesting Stones
Sometimes these posts are like puzzles. I pick up fragments in the course of daily life, and I find they all belong to the same idea. Remember doing dot-to-dot puzzles as a kid? I’m never sure what the shape is I’m working on, but I turn the pieces of the puzzle around until I’m satisfied Exploring the demonization of truth| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentDefining and reclaiming female power| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentAdventures and health with food and diet| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentChallenging mainstream diet advice; dealing with inflammation and autoimmune disease| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring ideology around food and diet| Harvesting Stones
The Bitch, the Crone and the Harlot by Susan Schachterle. My copy of this came out of a used bookstore. The title made me smile, so I took it home and read it. Now it’s bristling with Post-It tabs and Bookdarts and I wouldn’t be without it. A wonderful book about reclaiming female power in middle age.| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentReclaiming personal power and freedom with emotional intelligence and holistic management| Harvesting Stones | A Journey Into Power.... gather stones with me
#post_contentExploring the importance of contribution in emotional intelligence| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentSometimes we got nothin'--and then it turns into somethin'| Harvesting Stones
I haven't very often met a problem in life I couldn't solve. I have moments of bewilderment, of course, but I generally am able to figure out what's not working and how to fix it. At times the fix is so difficult I delay, avoid, deny and procrastinate until I'm forced to take the action Allowing questions to remain unanswered and problems to remain unsolved; the value in no immediate fix| Harvesting Stones
A reader commented on my last post, asking me what I thought about obedience. What a great question! According to Online Oxford Dictionary, obedience is “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.” Before we continue, let me make clear this is not a religious discussion. I know obedience is an Exploring obedience; is it a good thing we should all practice| Harvesting Stones
I've been thinking about loyalty recently. Loyalty is one of my bigger rabbit holes. I most often use the term when I'm beating myself up. A nasty little internal voice frequently hisses "Disloyal!" in my ear. This happens so constantly, in fact, that I'm bored. I've decided to unpack the concept of loyalty, spread it What does loyalty really mean? How does it look?| Harvesting Stones
Oxford Online Dictionary lists several meanings for integrity: “The quality of being honest …, the state of being whole and undivided, the condition of being unified …, internal consistency.” Integrity is an important piece of emotional intelligence. Like success, integrity is a quality we define for ourselves. If we don’t do so, the world is Exploring integrity: what does it mean, and what's included in it? How do we develop our own standards of integrity?| Harvesting Stones
This summer is about resource. I've never picked a one-word summer intention before, but today I realize it's been thrust upon me, willy-nilly. The Summer of Resource. I've been working with the idea of minimalism, which forces one to take stock of resource in the wide sense. What is resource? Oxford online dictionary defines resource Defining resource beyond money; exploring how we can best manage resource| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentFreedom, responsibility, choices, and consequences. We are not free from the effects of our choices, and no one has unlimited choice.| Harvesting Stones
I’ve struggled all my life with confusion about the difference between enabling and love. Most of us think of enabling in the context of addiction, and we’re familiar with the idea that helping an addict avoid the consequences of their addiction is not, in the long run, useful. It’s a pretty clear idea in theory. Enabling: what it is, why we do it, and why it doesn't work| Harvesting Stones
This week’s post is suspended between two stories. The first one is the old Greek myth of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was a crafty and deceitful king who craved complete power. In his pursuit of power, he offended many men and gods and was eventually punished by being sent to the underworld and forced to roll a The problems with trying too hard| Harvesting Stones
I've developed a practice of jotting down a list of events, conversations and observations at the end of every day, not only as a repository of creative prompts but also to identify patterns in my experience. During the last few weeks, perfectionism has appeared repeatedly in my daily lists, my own pursuit of it as Perfectionism; what it is and how to root it out| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the benefits of boredom| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentThe power of resistance and persistence. Recognizing different aspects of resistance.| Harvesting Stones
We humans make and seek patterns in everything we do. Sometimes we’re conscious of these patterns, and often we’re not. Discerning patterns is an evolutionary advantage that’s helped us survive, as the complex web of life is filled with them. A rudimentary example is patterns of color on reptiles, plants, fish and insects warning of Working with patterns of high-conflict behavior with the help of Bill Eddy; the usefulness (or not) of labels| Harvesting Stones
I’ve been listening to a Sounds True production of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes talk about Seeing in the Dark. I’ve listened to it before, but not for some years, and not since I developed a daily practice of sitting and breathing. She suggests that a practice, whether it be meditation, prayer, or whatever else, is Becoming friendly with our most intense feelings; allowing ourselves the fullness of experience| Harvesting Stones
In the old tales, young women are sent on dangerous quests that involve learning to sort one thing from another. One such teacher is Baba Yaga, about whom I’ve written previously. Baba Yaga is a crone, and when she can be bothered, she teaches too-sweet maidens how to sort poppy seeds from dirt, how to The skill of telling one thing from another, and why it's important| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentAsking hard questions about food and diet| Harvesting Stones
One of my first posts on this blog was about saying no . As I learned emotional intelligence and began applying it to my life, I started to understand how imprisoned I'd been by my inability to say no. In the interests of full disclosure, let me report saying no in the context of long-term Why it's so important to be free to say yes or no and the cost of retaining our power to do so| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring resilience in an offensive world| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentWhat is gaslighting and what does it look like?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentThinking about labels and the experience and feeling behind them| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the weakness of denialism| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentWhat does authenticity mean, and how do we practice it? How do we discern real and genuine from fantasy and false beliefs?| Harvesting Stones
I’ve noticed the terms “introvert” and “extrovert” popping up frequently in conversations lately. As a lifelong introvert, I also notice a lot of misunderstanding about what the term means. I start, as you knew I would, with definitions. However, it happens I disagree with the online Oxford Dictionary definition of introvert, which is “a shy, What is it like to be an introvert? Do introverts need to be fixed?| Harvesting Stones
I just made a note in my daily abbreviated journal: “Don’t think. Just do it!” Yesterday was a day off, and I spent it feeling futile because of what I experience as financial limitations in every direction. Interestingly, and hilariously, if I could only look at it from that angle, this day of futility was Exploring the nature of futility with the help of a wasp. Or wasps| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentTolerance is a mutual agreement to live peaceably with differences| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentDisempowering women around self-defense| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentPart one of understanding boundaries| Harvesting Stones
Making and communicating honest choices; why it matters| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentSeparating power from money| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the power of forgiveness| Harvesting Stones
I recently came across an article in my newsfeed describing several ways in which parents can help kids develop mental strength.| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the value and practice of letting go| Harvesting Stones
I’d love to be one of those serene, appropriately disciplined (as opposed to compulsive or utterly feckless) people who achieve an effective, useful, consistent morning routine. I’m not. Even during what I think of as “normal” times when my life was structured predictably by work and other obligations and activities, my morning schedule varied. Now, Stillness as An antidote to speeding and anxiety| Harvesting Stones
Challenging the limitations and distortions of personal stories| Harvesting Stones
I'm getting ready to turn over the manuscript of my first book to a developmental editor. Getting ready means I'm doing one final read through and combing out overused words and phrases using the search (and destroy) feature in my word processor. Over the months and years I've been working with my book and mastering All the ways our culture teaches women to make themselves small| Harvesting Stones
I sit down this week with a tangle of feelings around what I want to say. It’s hard to know how to begin. Sometimes I think with longing of the days I lived alone. There were things about being alone that were destroying me, which is why I left that life, but I did have The futility of arguing about who's right and who's wrong; connection vs. division| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentArguing with versus accepting what is| Harvesting Stones
Learning to stop people pleasing.| Harvesting Stones
I read a quote from Instagram last weekend from wetheurban: Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. Ever since I read it, I’ve been turning it over in my mind. To be happy is to feel or show pleasure or contentment, according to Oxford Online Dictionary. This simple little sentence from Exploring happiness with the help of Martin Seligman; how happy is happy?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring the complexity of communication| Harvesting Stones
One of the most important distinctions I’ve ever learned is the difference between thoughts and feelings. Sadly, I didn’t learn it in public school or higher education. I didn’t learn it from my family. I didn’t learn it from my culture. I didn’t learn it, in fact, until I was 50 years old. What I Separating out thoughts from our feelings; recognizing they may not reflect present reality; taking responsibility for our feeling lives without blaming others| Harvesting Stones
One of my favorite things about life is that changing one subtle thread in the pattern of our behavior and identity can change the whole picture in unexpected but beautiful ways. The overculture promises such a transformation if we buy the right product, but that’s a hollow promise. If we really want change, we have Being over-responsible for others versus being under-responsible for ourselves; learning to switch our unhealthy patterns around responsibility| Harvesting Stones
The word “respect” is jumping up and down in my life this week, hand thrust in the air, saying “me, me, me!” This post started with more from R. D. Laing’s book, Knots: "A son should respect his father. He should not have to be taught to respect his father. It is something that is Considering respect: what it looks like, what it means. Is respect the same as agreement?| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentUnderstanding and recognizing the power of needs| Harvesting Stones
Choice: an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities (Online Oxford Dictionary). Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash This morning I've been reading about doing one thing at a time and having too many choices. I've considered the paradox of choice: how important it is to understand our Thinking about choices and choice overload| Harvesting Stones
This post has been simmering in the back of my mind for some while. I’ve taken my time approaching it because it seems to be something of a landmine for some people. In simplest terms, to be grateful is to be thankful. It’s easy to be thankful for the things we enjoy and that make The healing power of gratitude for the good, the bad, and the ugly| Harvesting Stones
Managing expectations and recognizing how limited they are| Harvesting Stones
In the last 24 hours I’ve had an Aha! moment representing one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life. I've always defined myself as a failure. This morning, before 7:00 a.m., I became a success. Just like that, in one blinding moment of epiphany. I lay there giggling to myself like an idiot. I’ve been When and why we fail on purpose in order to succeed, and the consequences of such a choice| Harvesting Stones
Is emotional intelligence training for you? Reasons not to do it.| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentExploring identity| Harvesting Stones
#post_contentDealing with the terrible burden of shame| Harvesting Stones
I’ve been thinking for some time about courage. Oxford Online Dictionary defines courage as “the ability to do something that frightens one.” As I explore definitions, articles, memes, and quotes about courage online, much of what I read seems superficial and uninspiring - nothing I want to write about. As always, I did find gold. Definition and characteristics of courage; a meditation on the complexity and difficulty of practicing courage| Harvesting Stones
When I underwent emotional intelligence training, my coach asked me the question, “Chocolate or vanilla?” over and over. Now, my partner and I use that phrase frequently as we live our life together. It always makes me smile. Life is ridiculously complicated. At other times, it’s ridiculously simple. Our experience lies in the heart of The power inherent in intentional choice; how often we abdicate that power and stay stuck and disempowered| Harvesting Stones
In July of 2016 I wrote my first post on this blog, a letter of resignation from people pleasing. Since then, that post has had more than 20,000 views. A comparatively modest number for the internet, but for me personally an astounding one. Now, in August of 2024, I’m writing another letter, this one a […] The post Endings and Beginnings first appeared on Harvesting Stones.| Harvesting Stones
I walk the short distance to work whenever I can. My route takes me to a grassy hill between the neighborhood and the hospital (I work in Rehab) emergency room parking lot. A small pond (sadly, lots of trash) is on one side of the path at the foot of the hill. The other side The benefits and pitfalls of rewilding yards and gardens| Harvesting Stones
I received some second-hand feedback regarding my last post that’s had me thinking further about this idea of taking one’s own breath away. We exist as individuals, and we also exist in relationship to others, and not only with our own species. In fact, as I reread the last statement, I realize it doesn’t quite […] The post Healthy Self, Healthy Community first appeared on Harvesting Stones.| Harvesting Stones
Unusually, I’ve struggled the last couple of weeks to find something I wanted to write about for this post. At times I feel so heavily weighted with grief, fear, and despair about our world (and I mean our to include all people, all species, all life on this lovely, feverish planet suspended in the cool Which gods do we follow? What do they demand? Are they taking us home?| Harvesting Stones
The more battered I feel by the news cycle and the daily externals of my world, the more important it is to spend time in solitude, focusing inward and practicing love and trust with myself. (It sounds delightful, doesn’t it? So wise and functionally adult! It doesn’t read like tears; trauma; dumping feelings onto the […] The post Take My Breath Away first appeared on Harvesting Stones.| Harvesting Stones
In a recent conversation, someone asserted to me that ultimately everyone does what they want. I felt an immediate fury. That does not describe my life at all. I chewed on my outrage and resentment for a few weeks, simmering, until I decided to get over it and figure out why I was so hijacked. Is it true that we all do what we want to do in an effort to achieve certain outcomes?| Harvesting Stones
My work team and I are always on the lookout for new ways to work with our pool patrons. We look for new moves and songs for water exercise classes and new ideas for working with swim lesson kids. A few weeks ago, a team member remembered an old book she’d seen titled The New The decline and significance of healthy social touch in our current rape culture| Harvesting Stones
I’ve always said I hate politics. In hindsight, what I was really expressing was discomfort with divisiveness and conflict, lies and deceits and power games. Talking about politics feels like pinning Jello to the wall. People throw labels and jargon around. Terms are not defined and agreed upon. True intent is obfuscated. Actions and words […] The post Group Decision Making, A.K.A. Politics first appeared on Harvesting Stones.| Harvesting Stones
… and she met a bear. She froze, watching it watching her, seeing the long claws, the muzzle raised to sniff the air, the marvelous deep pelt. She thought about everything she’d ever heard about dealing with bears. She stood still, attempting to convey the energy of no-harm. The bear let out a “whuff” of […] The post Once Upon a Time a Woman Walked Through the Woods … first appeared on Harvesting Stones.| Harvesting Stones
A few weeks ago I explored self-trust. Until I wrote that piece, I had not realized how deeply I distrusted myself. (As a writer, I find nothing clarifies my thinking better than written inquiry. The process uncovers so many unconscious and hidden things.) In that post I speculated about choosing to trust myself, as trust The power of self-trust compared to self-love| Harvesting Stones