March 13, 2020, it was evening. I was sitting in my apartment holding my phone in my hand debating calling off a commitment to speak at a Philadelphia university that evening. On the one hand, I wa…| Crutches and Spice
Throughout it all, I felt like I couldn’t trust my own judgement about the CDC’s remarks. I felt like I had during those years when doctors gaslit me about what my body was experiencing.| Crutches and Spice
View this post on Instagram A post shared by Imani Barbarin (@crutches_and_spice)| Crutches and Spice
"So I ask you as a community: is your allegiance and proximity to white supremacy and privilege more important than our lives? Because whiteness has created the emergency and there are disabled BIPOC in the building scrambling towards safety."| Crutches and Spice
"I knew people were comfortable watching disabled and elderly people die, but I was wholly unprepared with the joy with which people would leap into harm’s way under the belief that only the vulnerable would die."| Crutches and Spice
When I was about 7 or eight years old, I wanted to be a ballerina and actress. Bad. I would spin around our living room on my hands and knees and was constantly writing storylines and plays. I was hungry for it. I constantly begged to be enrolled in a neighborhood dance class that many […]| Crutches and Spice
Fret not, dear friends, the celebration of the Americans with Disabilities Act is here. Sure, it is occurring during a pandemic that began with major publications disseminating eugenicist theories …| Crutches and Spice
This past week, I watched Crip Camp on my birthday in self-isolation. I had spent the morning crying on and off as I mourned the plans I had canceled and the current state of the country. It felt like none of it had mattered—none of the activism or advocacy had helped—because now, as the nondisabled […]| Crutches and Spice
“COVID19 is disastrous and devastating, but has never read up on the Me Too movement, has no opinion on colonization and doesn’t know Johnson.”| Crutches and Spice
TW: All of them You. Do you think you’re special? Early on they told you that it would be the vulnerable, the sick and elderly—people like me—who were most at risk of dying. You nodded your head with the required public empathy, but you didn’t really care. People saw your Facebook fundraiser for the Special […]| Crutches and Spice
As the world grapples with quarantines, self-isolation, and COVID-19, it is also dealing with something people have been loath to recognize: ableism. Throughout the last few weeks, those concerned about their health have been gaslit by seemingly “healthy” nondisabled people who don’t want their lives to be inconvenienced by quarantine and public health policies. Within […]| Crutches and Spice
On any given day ending in “y,” traverse to the comments section of any black disabled person post speaking their existence, and you’ll find a white disabled person “all lives matter”-ing themselves into a tizzy. Take my word for it. While the rest of society seems to have at least open the floodgates to conversations […]| Crutches and Spice
Check out @JoeBiden on #inclusive #education. Thanks for sharing this video with us, Samuel. Let us know if other candidates are talking about these critical issues. #CripTheVote #PwDsVote #RevUp #VoteDisability #RespectAbility #NHPolitics pic.twitter.com/iKjRvunSWU — Disability Rights Center New Hampshire (@DRCNH) January 31, 2020 A video has gone viral across disability Twitter. At a campaign event, […]| Crutches and Spice
It’s 2020 and the 30th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act. We were supposed to have flying cars by now, but I’ll settle for less ableism. 2019 saw the greater inclusion of people with disabilities in all areas. Still, industries seemed to be confronted with the existence of disabled people like it was a […]| Crutches and Spice
In this episode, Imani talks with her boyfriend, Tito Quevedo, about going into a relationship knowing marriage wasn’t an option because of healthcare needs. For a full transcript of this episode, click here.| Crutches and Spice
For a Transcript of this episode, click here: Transcript of Crutches and Spice Podcast Episode 2 To support this episode, click here: https://www.patreon.com/ImaniBarbarin| Crutches and Spice
In the inaugural episode of the Crutches And Spice Podcast, Imani talks about Internalized ableism and ways to combat it. Find a transcript of this episode here: And, make sure to support this podcast here:S1E1 Transcript Internalized Ableism www.patreon.com/ImaniBarbarin| Crutches and Spice
I’m sitting on the edge of my bed in my bathing suit. I have decided to wear it all day in the hopes I would gather the nerve to go to the pool in it. I’m dealing with a particularly rough concoction of thoughts fueling my anxiety today. I want to swim. I have always […]| Crutches and Spice
“You will too be disabled one day.” This is the dirty phrase in the disability advocates circle. Many of us, with good reason, don’t like to use it. Abled people should be invested in the independence and dignity of disabled people regardless of the possibility they may be at the mercy of the same physicality, […]| Crutches and Spice
It’s 2004, and I’m locked in my room. I’m trying to stifle the sound of me crying. Everyone is at home. They’re all back. I dragged myself back up the staircase as soon as I heard the garage door move. I miss the space. I miss the extra room for my anger and sadness. This […]| Crutches and Spice
Now that the two Democratic Debates have concluded, the evaluation begins. But, much to the disappointment of disabled voters, there will only be straws to grasp at (see what I did there). While the candidate pool is more diverse than ever, and many marginalized groups were addressed, there were no specific mentions of the disability […]| Crutches and Spice
Contrary to popular belief, disabled people actually like to be thought of and invited out with friends. But, as time goes on, those invites dry up and our friends and family stop inviting us places. For various reasons, we find it harder and harder to go out, but it’s not our fault. In the hopes […]| Crutches and Spice
Shock conveys many things. Usually, we use it to describe good surprises and breaks in our mundane lives that are eventually welcome. What often goes unsaid about it is that shocks break up routines and events with expected outcomes. Society rarely questions ableism and the barriers that prohibit disabled people from going after those things […]| Crutches and Spice
This spring, I had the opportunity to sit down and collaborate with three amazing women, Emily Ladau, Maryangel Garcia-Ramos and Hannah Soyer and discuss the ways in which media shapes our understanding and how that affects our daily lives for South by Southwest. Below is our video. I am very proud of our work and […]| Crutches and Spice
There’s a unique invisibility that comes with being black and disabled. Looking to see yourself in the world can feel like standing in a room made of one-way mirrors. Every way you turn in the hope that someone sees you, you realize that they can only see themselves. While more representations of disabled people have […]| Crutches and Spice
The 2020 presidential election is upon us and God help us all. With a multitude of candidates already announcing their intention to run for the presidency, I’m getting flashbacks to 2016 and the dread that comes with it. Will this be a repeat of 2016, or will it be even worse? With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pulling […]| Crutches and Spice
On my left knee, there’s a strange scar. It wasn’t stitched all the way down, and so the one end curves down into the shape of a spoon. Travel a little bit down, and there’s a scar that’s dimpled deeply from the keloids beneath my skin, it pulls from the inside and looks like a […]| Crutches and Spice
I know this is something you likely don’t want to hear about your Breaking Bad fave, but he’s problematic. When I heard that Breaking Bad would be casting RJ Mitte, a disabled actor for the role of…| Crutches and Spice
I can feel the rage inside me. It feels like I’m vibrating from deep inside—from a place within me that wants to make itself known. I can’t remember myself before it. I wish it away like an uninvited guest. I didn’t ask for it to be here, but it addresses me by my name like […]| Crutches and Spice
I am looking for a job. Most of my friends are in the same boat. I was talking to one of my closest friends and they briefly mentioned they weren’t all that concerned about the job hunt, that once they put their mind to it, they’d likely find one immediately. I can’t relate. Everything about […]| Crutches and Spice
I want to tell you a story. I have spent a majority of my life dreaming of the future—dreaming of college and all of the things I would do there. As a kid living in New York City, I would spend some of my free time going on college tours around the city. I had […]| Crutches and Spice
Have you ever been forgotten about? Like, people didn’t even think to consider you exist? So completely that you, yourself wondered if you even mattered to the person at all? I mean, you must. Right? They shared all those pictures that got all those likes. You made sure to pose for them when they asked. […]| Crutches and Spice
My body is uncooperative. It moves to a beat that at times I cannot hear. Next to the images of thin, pale models, I am an affront to their image. My dark skin insults those with a fancy for a-historical revisionism and half-truths. My uterus is in the hands of men who will never have […]| Crutches and Spice
"I am ashamed to say that I saw Anthony Bourdain as my inspiration. "| Crutches and Spice
I live in France and despite the fact that a Costco opened just outside of the city, I deeply miss bulk shopping. So, when my dad asked me what I wanted him to bring from home, it was simple: paper plates. Can I get them here? Sure. But can I get 700 at once? No. […]| Crutches and Spice
My mom and I were in the store when it happened. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, unfortunately. It was a common occurrence, “par for the course” as they say. An acquaintance of my mother (my mom’s real friends know better) had walked over to us and started a conversation […]| Crutches and Spice
I can feel your gaze. If you think you’re being slick, you’re not. I don’t even have to look in your direction, I caught your head on a swivel from the moment you heard me coming. Am I odd to you? What is the story you’re concocting in your head about me? What will you […]| Crutches and Spice
Sometimes I find myself walking down the street huffing and puffing from going to fast. I am in no hurry, I have no where to go, but for some reason I am moving with the speed of someone running late to meet the president (Obama). There’s no need for it. I have nowhere in particular […]| Crutches and Spice
Let me make myself clear, this post is not an opportunity for majority culture to attack black people, not even a little bit. With that in mind, I have noticed over the past few years a disturbing trend among people of otherwise marginalized groups. Specifically, mine. Ableism is rampant in the black community. Despite being […]| Crutches and Spice
This week is my birthday, so in the spirit of gift-giving, I want to share you a mundane moment that changed my life. You can take or leave the lesson I learned from it (as you know, I’m not about one person’s experiences being used as another’s prescription), I can just say that it changed […]| Crutches and Spice
Stephen Hawking, renowned physicist and vocal defender of disability rights has passed at the age of 76. In addition to being a rock star in the scientific community, he served as a living reminder of the potential of the human mind given the physical access necessary for disabled people to thrive in their given careers. […]| Crutches and Spice
Spoilers. OK, so since I’ve written spoilers 3 times now, I’m going to forge ahead. Fans have been waiting years for the newest season of Netflix’s Jessica Jones to be released. While I greatly enjoyed what I was watching, the show hit home with the themes of disability and “other-ness.” Mental illness bloggers have long […]| Crutches and Spice
It’s 3PM and my mom and I have had a long day. I’m 9 and had just had a very taxing workload in the 4th grade. Fractions. So, I’m a bit cranky when we stop at the studio again, but I keep it to myself. I know we are here for me. My mom hops […]| Crutches and Spice
This evening could not have been pulled off without the help of some amazing friends and femmes. They are good at what they do, hire them! Stylist Aalyiah Heath (first in photo) is a stylist, fashion blogger of Dimanche Jaune, and branding consultant. You can check out her next endeavor Pop Out Magazine on Instagram. […]| Crutches and Spice
There’s a spirituality to black femme-dom. A current in the room when a group of black femmes get together. It is the lifeblood that courses through several nations–even ones we had no intention of traveling to to begin with. It is the reason I would go to church when it was hard to get out […]| Crutches and Spice
The first post of the year took awhile for me to write. I could say this was due to a hectic holiday schedule, me winding up my graduate studies or starting a new internship, but that would be a lie. The real difficulty came after I asked myself one simple question: “What do you say […]| Crutches and Spice
*All the Trigger Warnings (even if you’re a fan, you DO NOT owe it to me to read this) In the hospital room after breaking my leg a couple of years ago, I asked my night nurse to go to the bathroom. With more attitude than I have on my worst days, she refused to […]| Crutches and Spice
No one plans for this to befall their friends or family, but now that ableds are in your life, you suddenly become aware that they are, in fact, actual people. So what do you do now? This has thrown off all of your plans! For your life, for theirs—what is to become of your relationship? […]| Crutches and Spice
Ah what fun. Disability often feels like a lifelong white elephant party. Sure, some of the aspects to being disabled are a gift—being able to think outside the box, the resourcefulness, general bad-assery—but there are many characteristics to our lives that abled people are glad were gifted to us and not them. Discrimination from the […]| Crutches and Spice
I am a member of a shocking (appalling, really) number of dating apps which means that the simple act of checking my messages can feel like drive-by ableism that I’ve brought down upon myself. Throughout my life, I have cultivated a well learned, low threshold for bull–it’s what has gotten me this far. For better […]| Crutches and Spice
Amazingly, though, the exercises for the races towards "normal" and "American" are nearly the same. Speak up enough to be inspirational but not confronting. Work hard, but never complain about the hurdles you face. Make the obvious joke and laugh to make them feel its ok. Smile. Always.| Crutches and Spice
If we cannot regularly rely on others to write our story, we should do it our damn selves.| Crutches and Spice
You heard me! Fight me. I want disabled people to be unapologetically selfish. I want you to bathe in hedonism and to move with the bravado of a mediocre man explaining to a woman her own expertise. I want to see you striving to love yourselves and in the moments you cannot, being patient with […]| Crutches and Spice
You knew that there would be a time when I’d have to write this. At least that part of me you know, you had been pushing this part of me away towards the end, the one that needed to speak to express the unpopular. You didn’t like that part of me, but at least you’re […]| Crutches and Spice
We have to admit that when we downloaded Adoring Allies, we were at a pretty low point in our political lives, we had just broken up with the tall, dark, handsome, and well-spoken man of our dreams and faced the future with pure dread. I mean, look at the prospects! Our relationship with our ex […]| Crutches and Spice
The following is a presentation I gave for a class on the identity formation of able-bodied people in contrast to representation of disabled bodies. The thesis is that able bodied people use two methods to distance themselves from the disabled identity: ableist language as distancing language and the social commodification of disabled bodies. This is […]| Crutches and Spice
In recent posts, I have been writing a lot to the able-bodied community in the hopes that they may see what we see. If this election has been any indication, they, in large part, do not. So, I write this letter to my peers and friends. Today is hard. It is very difficult when you […]| Crutches and Spice
I would like to start this post by (scream-crying into a pillow for 30 minutes) saying: here we are, we got what we got and we must move forward. Disability was a major topic during the presidential election. With it primarily being brought up after Trump apparently made fun of a disabled reporter and Clinton […]| Crutches and Spice
During the 2016 political season, disability has become one of the main talking points for voters. And, while I detest disability being used almost like political contraception, it is nice to have some representation taking the main stage in what has become a toxic series of lies and fear mongering. It started with Donald […]| Crutches and Spice
In the past few days, America has found itself twisted into a tizzy over the silent protest of San Francisco 49ers player Colin Kaepernick over the police history of the brutal treatment of people of color, specifically African Americans, by police. As soon as Kaepernick decided not to stand for the National Anthem memes popped […]| Crutches and Spice
I wish I could come up with some clever reaction to the recent deaths of disabled peoples in the last few months. It would make things easier. Instead, I’m going to make your lives a bit more difficult and ask one simple question: how valuable are disabled lives when they’re not inspirational?I once described ableism […]| Crutches and Spice
The children blessed me today! @NCDExecDir @AfAmEducation #AfAmInclusion pic.twitter.com/CBJhpzZgcE — LaTanya Sothern (@Sothernngirl) July 26, 2016 If you have ever been one of my educators and have not met my mother, consider yourself to be one of the best. My mother has always been my fiercest advocate when it came to equality in the classroom […]| Crutches and Spice
I have 22 scars on my body from surgery, I have dozens more I put there myself.| Crutches and Spice
• There’s a limit to most people’s empathy; talk about disability rights, sure; talk about black lives and you’re a problem. • You will live your life in pieces. No one will truly understand all of you. • Every time you say “goodbye” to your mother, father, or brother, you should be prepared for it […]| Crutches and Spice
I love superheroes. Think about their premise: people who are made different physically, through either birth or accident must grapple with how their difference will be seen within the world and whether or not to live hidden from it or to use it for the greater good. People who know me (and listen to me) […]| Crutches and Spice
The word “cripple” evokes many a negative connotation, but considering it is probably the least objectionable thing said during the course of an election in which a presidential candidate regularly insults minorities including the disabled, it’s time to use what we’ve got: shock value. The debate going on about the tag is irrelevant compared to […]| Crutches and Spice
With the recent theatrical release of Ableist propaganda film, Me Before You, disabled activists have raised their voices in anger over the portrayal of disability and the suicide of the main character. This have left many able-bodied people asking: what’s the big deal? Their desire to see a film that makes them feel good about […]| Crutches and Spice
There is a far greater correlation between disability and gun violence than there is between vaccines and disabilities. So why are people not frightened enough to push for gun reform?| Crutches and Spice
For the love of God, why do strangers keep striking up conversations with me? Maybe I just have a face for it. On a recent trip home, a woman decided to talk to me about the recent measles outbreak and how she still believes that vaccinations can cause autism in children. And despite not having […]| Crutches and Spice
People are always under the assumption that my parents somehow babied me or made my life as easy as possible because I was their disabled child—nothing could be further from the truth. Unless I was recovering from surgery or some particularly bad fall or incident, I was expected to take out the trash, wash the […]| Crutches and Spice
Anyone who knows me well, has heard me speak extensively on the word “handi-capable.” I hate it. I often find its speaker to be desperate and cloying and quick to say such stupid things just because they are uncomfortable in the presence of someone with a disability. I take offense to hearing it because it […]| Crutches and Spice
I am constantly stepping on people’s feet. Even after 15 years, I sometimes put one of my crutches down and think to myself, “the ground is awfully squishy today.” I don’t mean to, but think about all of the things I have to think about when I’m in public: I have to watch what’s coming, what’s […]| Crutches and Spice
It has come to my attention that speaking out about issues facing people with disabilities will get me no where; that this should be a forum where people get their daily dose of inspiration and feel uplifted by my words. Well, I’m not here to paint rainbows and belch butterflies. It has always bothered me […]| Crutches and Spice
I love New York. Not in a “sing my way down Broadway” sort of way, but in getting lost down the side street maze sort of way. I love the grit that the ever pressing force of gentrification seems to be pushing out; but more importantly, I feel absolutely anonymous when I am in the […]| Crutches and Spice
I have a confession to make. For most of my life, I think I have confused silence with peace. When I was younger my parents and brother would bicker and ask me who I thought was right and most of t…| Crutches and Spice
I don’t want to leave the platform and I feel like I am mourning it in real time.| Crutches and Spice
