A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he’s having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it’s distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends […]| Dan Savage
Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from Savage Love readers, Savage Lovecast listeners, and the occasional online rando. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to give advice. So, I made this tiny little mistake — […]| Dan Savage
I’m a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who has been married for nine years. The math: my husband and I got married right after university. Like you, I grew up Catholic, and as a girl/woman, all of the purity culture bullshit was foisted on me. Over the years, I’ve come to reject everything I was brought up […]| Dan Savage
In this week’s Savage Love, Dan Savage tackles the complex emotions behind secret masturbation, porn use in marriage, and the importance of erotic autonomy in long-term relationships.| Dan Savage
Okay, let’s strrrrrrrruggle… I advised TOXIC — who’s been dating a nice guy for six months after three years in dysfunctional throuple — to dump the nice guy and date his “main ex” from the throuple, who is suddenly single and available and saying everything TOXIC wanted to hear when back when they were together. […]| Dan Savage
Torn between a sweet new boyfriend and a toxic ex with irresistible sexual chemistry, a submissive gay man grapples with love, lust, and hard truths in Dan Savage's latest Savage Love column.| Dan Savage
No Struggle Session last week — sorry about that. We’ve got a lot of guest interviews stacked up, which required me to do a ton of reading over the last week, and Struggle Session got bumped. (What I’m reading now: Christine Wenc’s Funny Because It’s True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire and […]| Dan Savage
1. I’m a heterosexual woman married to a heterosexual man, and we’ve been together fourteen years. We have two kids. We met in our late 20s, we’re now in our early 40s, and needless to say we are WILDLY different people — from who we used to be, and from each other, frankly. After having […]| Dan Savage
Dan Savage and Amanda Knox dive into kink, resilience, and ethical non-monogamy in this revealing interview. Get tips on STI disclosures, poly boundaries, and more.| Dan Savage
I am a 30-year-old cishet woman from the Pacific Northwest. I am reaching out today about faking orgasms. I have been dating this guy for about six months and he is perfect. I love everything about him and part of that is I feel like we have great sex. The caveat is that I have never […]| Dan Savage
I forgot we don’t do Struggle Sessions on Thursdays when we’re doing Savage Love Live — I’m supposed to be in hair and makeup right now — and was pulling one together when a little bird reminded me we’re doing a live show today. So, please enjoy this bonus Struggle Session and we’ll see our […]| Dan Savage
I’m a lesbian in a big city. My partner of five years is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, and we are deeply in love, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. She has a son from an early-in-life marriage to a man. He is eighteen years old, a senior in […]| Dan Savage
My wife and I are a lesbian married couple in Chicago. We are also proud moms to our wonderful, dynamic 17-year-old trans son. "Michael" is a grea ...| savage.love
Sigh. I wasn’t supposed to do a Struggle Session last week but I wound up doing one because the HUMP! shoot got cancelled and my day opened up. I was supposed to do a Struggle Session yesterday but wound up not doing one because my computer picked Wednesday night to start acting weird and I […]| Dan Savage
1. Would you be willing to share my list of proposed gender-free pronouns with your readers, listeners, and followers? I’ve enclosed a graph listing them th ...| savage.love
...17;m concentrating on not burning dinner or getting dressed and out the door because we’re meeting friends somewhere or have a reservation. But it just keeps happening. Even worse, we’ve been busy lately and talked about making time for sex, so I’ve been trying to initiate more. But when I initiate at a good time, he turns me down. Meanwhile, he continues to initiate at the worst times. So, now I’m angry that he can’t seem to have a productive conversation about what he wants and...| Dan Savage
