1. How do I ensure an HSV-2-positive new partner is taking their meds to reduce transmission risk? In a high-trust relationship, you trust your partner to take their meds. In a low-trust relationship, you insist your partner take their meds in front of you or send you a video of them taking their meds. 2. … Read More » The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A man’s 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor? A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a … Read More » The post Dad’s Being SCAMMED by a Findom! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from Savage Love readers, Savage Lovecast listeners, and the occasional online rando. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to give advice. Excellent advice from YamatoGun for the caller who … Read More » The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Cream Pies, Bondage Boys, Gift Cards and More! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Long time reader! I’m a mostly straight boy in my early 20s with a new girlfriend. I say “mostly straight” because I’m into bondage and finding men who wanted to tie me up was always easier than finding women who wanted to tie me up. But I met a girl at a party early this … Read More » The post Long Time! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A woman’s old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She’s miffed, and wonders if she’s being too sensitive. We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators? Our … Read More » The post All Hail E. Jean Carroll! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Going to be a quick session today — we’re doing a Savage Love Live today at noon (Note: We did Savage Love Live yesterday at noon. Thanks to all who attended!) — but I wanted to share this email from Philip before getting into hair and makeup for the live show… Just when I thought … Read More » The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Nipples Casting Shadows, Hosts Omitting Time Stamps, Boyfriends Attending Kink Parties and More! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A cute li’l gal worries she just isn’t a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role? A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn’t quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to? On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist … Read More » The post Do I HAVE to Shave My Pubes? appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
I’m a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who has been married for nine years. The math: my husband and I got married right after university. Like you, I grew up Catholic, and as a girl/woman, all of the purity culture bullshit was foisted on me. Over the years, I’ve come to reject everything I was brought up […]| Dan Savage
Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments from Savage Love readers, Savage Lovecast listeners, and the occasional online rando. I also share a letter that wasn’t included in the column and invite you to give the advice! Okay, let’s struuuugle… RTPO asked me to expand on the “zone of erotic autonomy” … Read More » The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Deep Fakes, Dumb Fucks, Dirty Faps and More! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
“Not generous.” That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive? Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband. A gay man loves going … Read More » The post Third Vasectomy’s a Charm? appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men’s lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and […]| Dan Savage
It’s another easy-breezy session this week, gang, as our summer of running around to reconnect with family continues. Right now, Terry and I are in Scotland visiting some very special members of our chosen family. We came here the summer we met — it was our first vacation together — and we wanted to come […]| Dan Savage
Quickies! "Quick, dirty, and deeply honest. Dan Savage answers 25 rapid-fire sex, love, and kink questions—from open relationships to tighty-whities to respectful dick disposal—with wit, wisdom, and zero shame.| Dan Savage
Dear Readers: I’m at a family event — a happy one — this week. This column originally appeared in July 2013. Back with a new Savage Love next week. — Dan I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while […]| Dan Savage
Got questions about kinks, cologne, Grindr etiquette, pegging, or poly nicknames? Dan Savage dishes out fast, filthy wisdom in this week’s Savage Love.| Dan Savage
In this week’s Savage Love, Dan Savage tackles the complex emotions behind secret masturbation, porn use in marriage, and the importance of erotic autonomy in long-term relationships.| Dan Savage
Okay, let’s strrrrrrrruggle… I advised TOXIC — who’s been dating a nice guy for six months after three years in dysfunctional throuple — to dump the nice guy and date his “main ex” from the throuple, who is suddenly single and available and saying everything TOXIC wanted to hear when back when they were together. […]| Dan Savage
A man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though […]| Dan Savage
Torn between a sweet new boyfriend and a toxic ex with irresistible sexual chemistry, a submissive gay man grapples with love, lust, and hard truths in Dan Savage's latest Savage Love column.| Dan Savage
No Struggle Session last week — sorry about that. We’ve got a lot of guest interviews stacked up, which required me to do a ton of reading over the last week, and Struggle Session got bumped. (What I’m reading now: Christine Wenc’s Funny Because It’s True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire and […]| Dan Savage
1. I’m a heterosexual woman married to a heterosexual man, and we’ve been together fourteen years. We have two kids. We met in our late 20s, we’re now in our early 40s, and needless to say we are WILDLY different people — from who we used to be, and from each other, frankly. After having […]| Dan Savage
Dan Savage and Amanda Knox dive into kink, resilience, and ethical non-monogamy in this revealing interview. Get tips on STI disclosures, poly boundaries, and more.| Dan Savage
I am a 30-year-old cishet woman from the Pacific Northwest. I am reaching out today about faking orgasms. I have been dating this guy for about six months and he is perfect. I love everything about him and part of that is I feel like we have great sex. The caveat is that I have never […]| Dan Savage
I forgot we don’t do Struggle Sessions on Thursdays when we’re doing Savage Love Live — I’m supposed to be in hair and makeup right now — and was pulling one together when a little bird reminded me we’re doing a live show today. So, please enjoy this bonus Struggle Session and we’ll see our […]| Dan Savage
I’m a lesbian in a big city. My partner of five years is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, and we are deeply in love, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. She has a son from an early-in-life marriage to a man. He is eighteen years old, a senior in […]| Dan Savage
My wife and I are a lesbian married couple in Chicago. We are also proud moms to our wonderful, dynamic 17-year-old trans son. "Michael" is a grea ...| savage.love
Sigh. I wasn’t supposed to do a Struggle Session last week but I wound up doing one because the HUMP! shoot got cancelled and my day opened up. I was supposed to do a Struggle Session yesterday but wound up not doing one because my computer picked Wednesday night to start acting weird and I […]| Dan Savage
1. Would you be willing to share my list of proposed gender-free pronouns with your readers, listeners, and followers? I’ve enclosed a graph listing them th ...| savage.love
...17;m concentrating on not burning dinner or getting dressed and out the door because we’re meeting friends somewhere or have a reservation. But it just keeps happening. Even worse, we’ve been busy lately and talked about making time for sex, so I’ve been trying to initiate more. But when I initiate at a good time, he turns me down. Meanwhile, he continues to initiate at the worst times. So, now I’m angry that he can’t seem to have a productive conversation about what he wants and...| Dan Savage
... were supposed to try again, but he told me he just couldn’t. He has zero sexual desire. He has not seen a medical doctor for any tests, although his oncologist told him a few years ago that there is nothing medically wrong with him anymore. My patience is running out. If he doesn’t want sex, that’s fine. But he shouldn’t deny me the right to get my needs met. Am I wrong? BTW, I’m 63 years old and retired, and he’s 57 years old and works full time from home. We have a beautiful...| Dan Savage
...d. I personally think it’s perfect for Hump! They deleted it off IG but still on their YouTube shorts. Violife Foods. Thought you and your listeners would enjoy.| Dan Savage
...Dominant women are all but impossible to find. I’ve tried joining clubs and going to events, but the people I meet are invariably too old or already coupled. I’ve tried personal ads and only received responses from gay men. Dating coworkers is out of the question for obvious reasons, and speed dating results in bust after bust. Escort services and prostitution are financially, legally, professionally, and ethically unacceptable to me. “Make a FetLife account and go to munches!” is ...| Dan Savage
...tish. Ranging from a fetish is something you see and a kink is something you do to a kink is something you like and a fetish is something you need to cum. @fakedansavage: Have you ever written a definitive guide to this? I can’t find one…| Dan Savage
...doesn’t sound awful? Also, if a “straight” man has sex with or dates a non-binary-identifying AFAB individual, would he be considered bisexual? Oh, and you don’t need to tell me this is all moot. I am aware that middle-aged and married cis dudes don’t pull a lot of likes from beautiful, non-binary folks anyway.| Dan Savage
...anything related to it. When I feel the need to indulge in this fetish, I scratch the itch with strangers I meet online. I wish I could just turn this part of me off and enjoy the wonderful relationship that I have. Can a fetish like this be made to fade over time, or am I just going to try and focus on other things when these urges come on?| Dan Savage
