Shibari for you and me! A woman and her boyfriend, (in an open relationship) tried shibari and enjoyed the intimacy of it. She suggested they exclusively practice shibari with each other, unlike all the other sexual activities they do with their other lovers. At first he agreed, but now he’s balking. Should she try to … Read More » The post Shibari for You and Me appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Hey, Magnum Subs! We’re having Savage Love Live on Wednesday at noon Pacific time. Check your email tomorrow morning for an invite and a link to the show! — Dan I’m a bi girl in a serious relationship with a bi guy, and said bi guy has a major thing for being cucked. We’ve had … Read More » The post The Cuckening appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Hey, gang: I’m in Berlin on a quick birthday trip with the boyfriend… so, it’s gonna short session today. But please don’t think I’m slacking: I was today’s guest on Jung & Naiv, Germany’s biggest independent news and politics podcast. I spent more than two hours (!) talking about fascism, sexism, queer rights, Franco’s Spain, … Read More » The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Important Corrections, Fluffy Dragons, and More! appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
1. How’s anal with someone with pearls in their dick? I’m getting some installed soon. You’re referring to pearling, a body modification where small pearl-like beads are inserted under the skin of the penis. Post-pearling, your cock — to the untrained eye (read: most eyes) — is gonna look like it’s covered in cysts that … Read More » The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
How can a woman safely indulge her kink when the thing that turns her on is fear? A man is convinced that his bidet use makes him pee more. Our long suffering, patient and kind medical expert, Doc Barak is back to sigh heavily and pretend to take the question seriously. Also, can we trust … Read More » The post When Fear Turns You On appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
I need help figuring out how to tell my kids I am non-monogamous. I’ve been non-monogamous for over five years and have been married for nearly fifteen years. My husband and I have three kids together, the oldest of which is now 14. My husband and I have not been sexually active for nearly eight … Read More » The post Think of the Children appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he’s having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it’s distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends […]| Dan Savage
It’s gonna be a very brief struggle session this week — hardly a session, barely a struggle — since I’m a dozen times zones away from home and dying of jet lag. Got this via email… With Jimmy Kimmel, many journalists, many professors, and even fast food workers getting fired and suspended for pointing out … Read More » The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Gonna Be a Shortie… appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don’t know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they’re a … Read More » The post Pretend Your Girlfriend is a Watermelon appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
I hate to admit this, but I have a hard time feeling comfortable having sex or even talking to guys unless I’m drunk or high. I’m a trans man. I’m a sexual assault survivor. Admittedly, I’m also a bit insecure about myself. And while I’ve been in therapy for years, I don’t feel I’m making … Read More » The post Making the Upgrade appeared first on Dan Savage.| Dan Savage
Struggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments — just a few — from Savage Love readers, Savage Lovecast listeners, and the occasional online rando. I also share a letter that won’t be included in the column and invite my readers to give advice. So, I made this tiny little mistake — […]| Dan Savage
I’m a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who has been married for nine years. The math: my husband and I got married right after university. Like you, I grew up Catholic, and as a girl/woman, all of the purity culture bullshit was foisted on me. Over the years, I’ve come to reject everything I was brought up […]| Dan Savage
It’s another easy-breezy session this week, gang, as our summer of running around to reconnect with family continues. Right now, Terry and I are in Scotland visiting some very special members of our chosen family. We came here the summer we met — it was our first vacation together — and we wanted to come […]| Dan Savage
Quickies! "Quick, dirty, and deeply honest. Dan Savage answers 25 rapid-fire sex, love, and kink questions—from open relationships to tighty-whities to respectful dick disposal—with wit, wisdom, and zero shame.| Dan Savage
In this week’s Savage Love, Dan Savage tackles the complex emotions behind secret masturbation, porn use in marriage, and the importance of erotic autonomy in long-term relationships.| Dan Savage
Okay, let’s strrrrrrrruggle… I advised TOXIC — who’s been dating a nice guy for six months after three years in dysfunctional throuple — to dump the nice guy and date his “main ex” from the throuple, who is suddenly single and available and saying everything TOXIC wanted to hear when back when they were together. […]| Dan Savage
Torn between a sweet new boyfriend and a toxic ex with irresistible sexual chemistry, a submissive gay man grapples with love, lust, and hard truths in Dan Savage's latest Savage Love column.| Dan Savage
No Struggle Session last week — sorry about that. We’ve got a lot of guest interviews stacked up, which required me to do a ton of reading over the last week, and Struggle Session got bumped. (What I’m reading now: Christine Wenc’s Funny Because It’s True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire and […]| Dan Savage
1. I’m a heterosexual woman married to a heterosexual man, and we’ve been together fourteen years. We have two kids. We met in our late 20s, we’re now in our early 40s, and needless to say we are WILDLY different people — from who we used to be, and from each other, frankly. After having […]| Dan Savage
Dan Savage and Amanda Knox dive into kink, resilience, and ethical non-monogamy in this revealing interview. Get tips on STI disclosures, poly boundaries, and more.| Dan Savage
I am a 30-year-old cishet woman from the Pacific Northwest. I am reaching out today about faking orgasms. I have been dating this guy for about six months and he is perfect. I love everything about him and part of that is I feel like we have great sex. The caveat is that I have never […]| Dan Savage
I forgot we don’t do Struggle Sessions on Thursdays when we’re doing Savage Love Live — I’m supposed to be in hair and makeup right now — and was pulling one together when a little bird reminded me we’re doing a live show today. So, please enjoy this bonus Struggle Session and we’ll see our […]| Dan Savage
I’m a lesbian in a big city. My partner of five years is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, and we are deeply in love, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. She has a son from an early-in-life marriage to a man. He is eighteen years old, a senior in […]| Dan Savage
My wife and I are a lesbian married couple in Chicago. We are also proud moms to our wonderful, dynamic 17-year-old trans son. "Michael" is a grea ...| savage.love
Sigh. I wasn’t supposed to do a Struggle Session last week but I wound up doing one because the HUMP! shoot got cancelled and my day opened up. I was supposed to do a Struggle Session yesterday but wound up not doing one because my computer picked Wednesday night to start acting weird and I […]| Dan Savage
1. Would you be willing to share my list of proposed gender-free pronouns with your readers, listeners, and followers? I’ve enclosed a graph listing them th ...| savage.love
...17;m concentrating on not burning dinner or getting dressed and out the door because we’re meeting friends somewhere or have a reservation. But it just keeps happening. Even worse, we’ve been busy lately and talked about making time for sex, so I’ve been trying to initiate more. But when I initiate at a good time, he turns me down. Meanwhile, he continues to initiate at the worst times. So, now I’m angry that he can’t seem to have a productive conversation about what he wants and...| Dan Savage
... were supposed to try again, but he told me he just couldn’t. He has zero sexual desire. He has not seen a medical doctor for any tests, although his oncologist told him a few years ago that there is nothing medically wrong with him anymore. My patience is running out. If he doesn’t want sex, that’s fine. But he shouldn’t deny me the right to get my needs met. Am I wrong? BTW, I’m 63 years old and retired, and he’s 57 years old and works full time from home. We have a beautiful...| Dan Savage
...d. I personally think it’s perfect for Hump! They deleted it off IG but still on their YouTube shorts. Violife Foods. Thought you and your listeners would enjoy.| Dan Savage
...Dominant women are all but impossible to find. I’ve tried joining clubs and going to events, but the people I meet are invariably too old or already coupled. I’ve tried personal ads and only received responses from gay men. Dating coworkers is out of the question for obvious reasons, and speed dating results in bust after bust. Escort services and prostitution are financially, legally, professionally, and ethically unacceptable to me. “Make a FetLife account and go to munches!” is ...| Dan Savage
...tish. Ranging from a fetish is something you see and a kink is something you do to a kink is something you like and a fetish is something you need to cum. @fakedansavage: Have you ever written a definitive guide to this? I can’t find one…| Dan Savage
...doesn’t sound awful? Also, if a “straight” man has sex with or dates a non-binary-identifying AFAB individual, would he be considered bisexual? Oh, and you don’t need to tell me this is all moot. I am aware that middle-aged and married cis dudes don’t pull a lot of likes from beautiful, non-binary folks anyway.| Dan Savage
...anything related to it. When I feel the need to indulge in this fetish, I scratch the itch with strangers I meet online. I wish I could just turn this part of me off and enjoy the wonderful relationship that I have. Can a fetish like this be made to fade over time, or am I just going to try and focus on other things when these urges come on?| Dan Savage
