Tone-policing men’s pain is a cultural silencing tactic. One that serves to keeps male victims invisible and female perpetrators unaccountable. Supporting male victims isn’t evidence of misogyny. It shows that you have basic human decency. There are very few taboo topics left in modern society. Norms have all but been eroded. People shamelessly broadcast their […] The post Tone-Policing Men’s Pain appeared first on Shrink4Men.| Shrink4Men
This article is the follow-up to BPD Ambush: How Borderlines Weaponize Therapy. It’s a real-life story of what happened when Goldie, recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, discovered her husband, Victor, had scheduled a session with me. (Names and identifying information have been changed for obvious reasons.) Before diving in, here’s a quick recap: Goldie […] The post Couples Therapy with a BPD: 8 Manipulation Tactics appeared first on Shrink4Men.| Shrink4Men
Many clients wrongly believe that setting boundaries with a borderline or narcissistic partner will magically fix the relationship. It won’t. Nevertheless, boundaries are essential—I encourage every client to set them. But I also stress two things: It won’t be easy—for them or their disordered partner. Setting boundaries is usually the beginning of the end. To […] The post BPD Ambush: How Borderlines Weaponize Therapy appeared first on Shrink4Men.| Shrink4Men
If a high-conflict ex can’t provoke you over text or email anymore, guess where they’ll try to engage you next? That’s right—the custody exchange. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic (NPD) or borderline (BPD) ex, custody hand-offs can become an opportunity for yet another one of their power struggles. And with these types, anything and […] The post Custody Exchange Ambush: How to Handle a High-Conflict Ex appeared first on Shrink4Men.| Shrink4Men
For the past 20 years, I’ve worked with countless men navigating relationships with women who exhibit Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), or other high-conflict personality traits. A recurring theme? The massive gap between what therapists claim should work and what happens in real life outside the therapy office. […] The post Why DBT Fails in BPD Relationships: The Theory vs. Reality Gap appeared first on ...| Shrink4Men
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) and Christmas go together like dynamite and a detonator. Kaboom. If you’re married or dating one of these individuals—someone who thrives on drama and professional martyrdom—then you’re probably already doing a “Jenny Curran” (Forrest Gump). As in, “Dear God, make me a […] The post Christmas Chaos: Coping with a Narcissistic or Borderline Wife appeared firs...| Shrink4Men
The holidays can be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. Unfortunately, if you’re dealing with a borderline, histrionic, or narcissistic ex, it can also be a prime opportunity for some Yuletide drama, manipulation, and relationship relapse. Perhaps you’re already familiar with the Holiday Hoover—the attempt by your BPD, HPD, or NPD ex to suck […] The post How to Protect Yourself from a Holiday Hoover By a BPD or NPD Ex appeared first on Shrink4Men.| Shrink4Men
What does “My Truth” mean to narcissists and borderlines? Short answer: Run for cover! Incoming one-sided, self-serving bullshit! In other words, you’re about to experience the weaponization of personal narratives—many of which are likely false or greatly exaggerated, distorted projections. “My Truth” is a variation of a common refrain frequently weaponized by narcissists, borderlines, histrionics, […] The post “My Truth:” How Narcissists and Borderlines Weaponize Victim Nar...| Shrink4Men
Narcissists and borderlines with a Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood (TIV) are the proverbial perfect storm in high-conflict divorce cases, especially when it comes to false abuse allegations. Given the rampant misuse of restraining orders and the prevalence of high-conflict cases in family court, it baffles me why so many judges, attorneys, custody evaluators, guardians ad […] The post Narcissists, Borderlines, the Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood, and False Abuse Allegations in H...| Shrink4Men
Why are narcissists and borderlines, like Amber Heard, such convincing liars? What motivates them to fabricate abuse claims, and how do they manage to deceive not just friends and family, but even trained mental health professionals? It’s critical that male victims of false abuse allegations know the answers to these questions as matters of self-defense […] The post Why Are Narcissists and Borderlines Like Amber Heard Such Convincing Liars? Understanding False Abuse Allegations appeared f...| Shrink4Men