I’m not the man I was when first we met Nor you, when first emerging from the dark I’m stronger now, perhaps not wiser yet I wear a dozen years’ unfaded mark The arrow’s wound as raw as ere it was Infatuation mellowed over time And limerence let my heart fall from her jaws So […]| Infactorium
Another year, my love, has come and gone A spiral etched across celestial seas. A decade now, not past, but lived along A thirty billion mile arc that we’ve Traced out like dancers perched upon a wire Strung across a darkened, starlit stage. The grace and wit of steps I so admire, You pirouette through […]| Infactorium
I don’t know when my story changed or how. No clear-skied thunderclap awoke my nerves. No fearsome angel’s wail or battle howl Bade summon up some courage in reserve. I only know beside you I am brave. I only know my stomach doesn’t quail. I know my heart rides wine-dark swelling waves where fearless souls […]| Infactorium
I am doing very well in general. I have been working hard at a bunch of things lately, and applying the tools of incremental progress and commitment to process over result. That’s the key: I can’t control results. I can only control the process. Process and result are connected, but not in perfect accordance. Nevertheless, […]| Infactorium
I had an interesting short conversation yesterday based off of this tweet: And my conversation partner said: “Well, you are obsessive about it.” Which is interesting for two reasons: their feelings about what constitutes obsession, yes, but also how I’ve represented my own behavior to them. I definitely talk about counting my calories, and explain […]| Infactorium
Confession: I haven’t been to more than two or three AA meetings over the past year. I hate Zoom meetings. I went to several in the early pandemic, and I gave up. I didn’t connect. Frankly, I haven’t connected to the AA community here well since moving to Seattle. I attended a fairly large number […]| Infactorium
When on a journey associated with personal improvement, we tend to imagine a goal that, once we achieve it, we are finished. For example, I am trying to lose weight, and I set a goal of 23 pounds (chosen because it gets me to a round number that felt like a good endpoint). In my […]| Infactorium
Biochembelle and I are watching an extreme race show called “Race to the Center of the Earth”. I’m enjoying it. But there’s a contestant on it who annoys me. She is incredibly fit, and describes herself as “gritty”, but she is complaining constantly about pain. Now, I’m not going to try to judge her pain. […]| Infactorium
I am continuing my weight-loss and fitness journey, and I am objectively having success. I am back down to about my lowest adult weight from a few years ago. Although I am softer and weaker than I was three years ago, and have a ways to go before I recover all my strength. But I’m […]| Infactorium
“Meeting Makers Make It,” is one of the most common phrases you’ll hear in AA. It’s said all the time because it’s true. Regular meeting attendance and sobriety mainte…| Infactorium