Here’s a recording of the talk I gave a couple of weeks ago in Harrogate, to a general audience who were not necessarily familiar with the concept of limerence. It’s a rehearsal, so not as slick or lively as the actual talk (and no Q&A of course). I thought it might be interesting to see […] The post A new way to look at love first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Time for another visit to the LwL virtual coffeehouse, where all things life and limerence can be discussed. This week, I’d like to kick things off with a discussion about the menopause. Now, obviously, this is not a topic from which I can draw personal experience. But, there was some really interesting discussion about how […] The post Coffeehouse: postmenopausal limerence first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Another busy week for me, so here’s my latest YouTube video about why limerence exists: Romantic love is great, and there are obvious reasons why it exists. What’s less obvious is why those giddy feelings of love can sometimes get a bit… unstable. Why do some of us get so massively, comprehensively intoxicated with other […] The post Obsessive love explained first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Quick update post this week. This thursday Sep 11th, I’ll be giving a talk on limerence at the Berwin’s North Salon in Harrogate, UK. These events are a great concept – an old-school approach to sharing new knowledge, by getting interested and interesting people together to discuss ideas. Each speaker gives a TED-style talk, takes […] The post Big ideas in intimate spaces first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
I posted a new article on Psychology Today this week, all about brain lateralization—whether the brain can be “handed”. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-neuroscience/202508/are-you-left-brained-or-right-brained The main point of the article was to argue that the notion of individual people being left-brained or right-brained, and that determining their personality type, is a myth. But, it’s a myth built on something […] The post Biased brains and bonding first appear...| Living with Limerence
Psychology is littered with attempts to describe a common source of distress, and define it as a specific condition, syndrome or disorder. Limerence is a great example of this principle. For many of us, limerence as a concept has great explanatory power for our experience of the early stages of love – an altered mental […] The post Limerence and maladaptive daydreaming first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Another trip to the LwL coffeehouse open thread, where conversations ramble and wisdom is sometimes uncovered among the cinnamon rolls. This week, I’m going to kick off the conversation by continuing a topic that’s emerged over the last couple of posts: choosing a partner. What’s on my mind at the moment is the difference between […] The post Coffeehouse: choosing a partner first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
I’m away on holiday at the moment, but following on from Owen’s case study last week, here’s an interesting video from the School of Life about how to choose a partner wisely: It’s a great sentiment, but it does highlight one of the difficulties of dating as a limerent. Mostly, we respond to people who […] The post Choosing a partner wisely first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Today’s case study is from Owen, who has begun to realise the unexpected impact that limerence has had on his life. I’ve never been in a relationship or really gone beyond the first couple of dates with a girl, and haven’t had any sexual experiences since I was 19 at university. Since I’ve learnt about […] The post Case study: held back by limerence first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Note: this is an updated version of an earlier post One of the best ways of managing the emotional assault of limerence is to work on understanding yourself. Work to increase your self-awareness, and self-esteem. To find direction. That process of self-discovery increases your resilience and your ability to resist unwelcome limerence and make better […] The post Integrity first appeared on Living with Limerence.| Living with Limerence
Limerence is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, first defined in the 1970s by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov. It is characterised by an initial period of elation and intense emotional arousal that can progress to an involuntary, obsessive craving for another person. Limerence is not a widely known concept. In a not-entirely-scientific poll (I| Living with Limerence
