Blog | my varnished soapbox
disclaimer: i have a lot to say| my varnished soapbox
i spent the last weekend of summer mostly under the sun, and submerged in water. i've been itching to swim again, despite autumn approaching. one day in particular, sunday, while swimming in the shallow end of my friend's apartment pool, i thought a lot out loud about the distinction between being desired and being wanted, and how i got there.| my varnished soapbox
fix anxiety with this one weird trick!| my varnished soapbox
this is all reworked from instagram story posts of each film, using googled images that have comparable widths for uniformity. i'll see how i feel about images in my posts at all. it's different. it'd be cool if i could upload my own sourced images, but i'm making do. i like visuals. and i'll do anything but log such things in letterboxd.| my varnished soapbox
it's about that time where i need to get a new phone. the storage capacity i got at the time was sufficient then, but it isn't now. storage isn't what it used to be. external hard drives are becoming the norm. i overestimate sentimentality until i get an alert that i'm low in storage. according to my devices, it seems to be an estimated 0.5 terabyte's worth of memories--the rest is hanging tight in various google drive accounts, bringing it over 1TB. this is just me, and what i've accumulated...| my varnished soapbox
some people don't get it, but the ones that do, do.| my varnished soapbox
i got a co-star notification that said, "destroy with purpose." the app is a novelty at best. the notifications come to me like a sims 1 prank call. the "message from the universe" timing can be silly or ominous.| my varnished soapbox
the prospect of people reading my posts is still something i'm getting used to. it seems silly, to me, as someone who's been online since the dot com era's fruition. i'm an alum of tumblr university and took intro to css on xanga and neopets. i used twitter avidly when you had to text to tweet and actually "quote" a tweet to quote-tweet.| my varnished soapbox
the theme of the week is water. the heat is picking up and so are the storms. i'm used to wet seasons, though. humidity is a comfort. i am more hydrated during a storm than i am under a sweltering blue sky. i crave hot drinks more often in the summer and iced drinks in the winter.| my varnished soapbox
after a series of accidentally closing out the tab before clicking "save as draft," a weariness tugs on my scalp as i try to remember what i had composed prior. i could reframe it as, "well, that was the first draft, and this one will be better." it's certainly a less self-flagellating track than lamenting over what was lost.| my varnished soapbox
i spent a great deal of thinking on how to tag this. musing? or prose? i try to separate the two as a means to allow the flow of fictionalized recollections ...| my varnished soapbox
the word "confluescent" came to mind when i opened up this new post. i thought i made up gibberish on the spot, but it's a real word. [^1] rather is: >"the...| my varnished soapbox
