“How to let go: one life ends while another begins. I’m seven months pregnant with our daughter as Jake’s life comes to a close. How do I walk into an uncertain future without him?“| The Story's Story
i. Aren’t we clever? Bess and I felt so very smart. In April, we congratulated ourselves for navigating the healthcare system to get two doses of spot radiation that, in conjunction with clinical trial drug PDL1V, likely shrunk, and perhaps temporarily eliminated, the squamous cell carcinoma tumors in my neck that have been strangling me […]| The Story's Story
* “The Silence Doctors Are Keeping About Millennials’ Death.” Germane to me for obvious reasons; our culture denies both death and grief and seems not able to incorporate either, partic…| The Story's Story
Before I lost my tongue to cancer, having friends over for dinner was my most common form of hanging out: No sane person wants their tongue removed, but having it out and not being able to swallow …| The Story's Story
For many people, taking a psychedelic like psilocybin is one of the most revelatory, profound, bizarre, beautiful, notable experiences of their lives. I’m one. It’s hard to enumerate al…| The Story's Story
I keep thinking about what happens to my wife, Bess, after I die; there’s a recurrent image in my mind, about what happens to her after I’m gone, that I can’t seem to shake. Bess …| The Story's Story
If you find this piece worthwhile, consider the Go Fund Me that’s funding ongoing cancer care. Alex Tabarrok writes about how “when the FDA fails to approve a good drug, people die but the bo…| The Story's Story
This is by my brother, Sam. I arrived to Arizona late Saturday, after learning that my brother has only a few days left before cancer ends him. Jake’s wife, Bess, confessed that she had neither the…| The Story's Story
I’m entering hospice. It’s time, and realistically past time. The squamous cell carcinoma tumors are growing, and the two doses of spot radiation I got on June 10 and 12 have utterly destroyed what…| The Story's Story
* “Pentagon ‘alarmingly slow’ at fielding new weapons.” China seems not to suffer this problem. Perhaps, given what’s happening with Taiwan, we should pay more attention. In other…| The Story's Story
Five days ago I wrote about two simultaneous crises: one from swallowing and breathing poorly, and the second from PDL1V no longer holding back the tumors. Despite those beautiful scans in May showing extensive tumor-size reduction, the most recent scans show “Continued neoplastic disease progression throughout the neck as described. Of note tumor results in […]| The Story's Story
* “Why America’s Berries Have Never Tasted So Good: Driscoll’s had to figure out how to breed, produce and sell its most flavorful strawberries and raspberries. Now the strategy is starting to bear fruit” (wsj, $). Good news is underrated and seemingly hardly ever goes viral. I think that even though I’m very sick and […]| The Story's Story
I’ve been silent because I’ve been so very sick: swallowing has gotten much harder, and aspiration of food or liquid much more common, to the point that on July 1 I got a new PEG tube put in. Given how much removing the previous tube felt like a triumph, the new installation, although it’s keeping […]| The Story's Story
* “Electric Vehicles (EVs) Could Last Nearly Forever.” Buying or leasing a legacy internal combustion engine (ICE) car now or going forward is nuts because its value is going to drop to…| The Story's Story
Some things about the clinical trial process—and the behaviors of the drug companies, hospitals, and oncologists that are part of the clinical trial process—puzzle me, because I notice problems and…| The Story's Story
I’ll admit a disappointing answer up front: I don’t know. Because I’m dying, I’ve been saying goodbye a lot, but even after a bunch of practice I still don’t know how …| The Story's Story
At The Complete Review, Michael Orthofer writes of John Updike that Dead authors do tend to fade fast these days — sometimes to be resurrected after a decent interval has passed, sometimes no…| The Story's Story
My wife, Bess, wrote this. For more context, see “I am dying of squamous cell carcinoma, and the treatments that might save me are just out of reach.” Jake is sitting on the couch besid…| The Story's Story
I stand on the scale and it flashes 137.8 lbs, which elicits cursing because 137.8 lbs is dangerously low and I’ve been trying, futilely, to gain. Though I’m dying at an accelerated rat…| The Story's Story
My wife, Bess, wrote this. It’s 11 p.m. and I’m shaving my dying husband’s head. We’re in the bathroom, lit only by a curlicue of nightlight. I’m wielding a heavy pair of metal clippers in my right…| The Story's Story
This essay is by my wife, Bess. “Are you taking care of yourself?” Francesca asks. It’s a fair question: my husband, Jake, is dying of a metastasizing squamous cell carcinoma. I say I don’t know wh…| The Story's Story