Hi Doc, I've been reading your column for many years and found that thinking of what advice would I give first and then comparing it with your answer is a great way to gradually calibrate my views about relationships. So I figured I would ask for your holy Chair Leg now since I have no idea what advice to give myself (or rather - I do, but all of it sounds dumb to me and I suspect I am deceiving myself in some ways). For the context, I am a 27y old hetero guy and I've had some struggles with| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His life is in chaos and he's not in a place where he can maintain a relationship. But casual sex never worked out for him either. How can he find the kind of sex he ACTUALLY wants?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Straight talk: there are two phrases that a woman can say that will instill ball-shrinking terror in the heart of every man. The first is 'We need to talk.' The second is 'Where do you think this relationship is going?' It's the dreaded 'Defining The Relationship' talk... and nobody ever looks forward to it. The DTR talk has achieved an almost mythical level of terror amongst people - especially men, because it almost always comes at the worst possible moment, and suddenly you have to make de...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the hardest things that people face over the course of a long-term relationship is that the initial spark - what many in the polyamory community call 'new relationship energy' - fades. It's an entirely natural part of settling into a relationship; the initial honeymoon period fades and what was intense and exciting becomes calmer and placid. That initial rush of passion that had you banging out on every flat surface in the house and made every vaguely empty space a potential fuckstop...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the hardest things to keep in mind when it comes to dating is that the work doesn't end just because you're in a relationship. It's easy to get tunnel vision, especially when you've been working so hard at the early stages - developing your approach, learning how to generate attraction, etc. - that once you start having some successes... you don't know quite what to do next. We're taught to have unrealistic expectations about relationships; even when we understand intellectually that ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove, I've been a long-time reader of your articles, and after so many years, I now find myself in need of your advice. It's a bit of a long story. For context, I am a single 27-year-old man, and the woman in question is my ex, and is about to turn 26. We both work in the same profession. I'll start with the background first. In the fall of 2018, my ex and I first met when we were working together at a new internship. We clicked instantly, and the attraction was mutual. We bega...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
