Some days ago I stumbled1 over an excellent article by Tim Urban titled Taming the Mammoth: Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think, and it's been mulling over in the back of my mind ever since. I wont reproduce all of it here (for obvious reasons), but I wanted to comment about it a bit. You should still go ahead and read it if you have the chance! | meadow.cafe
George puffed on his pipe, the aroma of strong tobacco slowly filling the chilly morning air. It was the end of summer but the temperature had started to drop early this year. He sat on his porch watching the sky, as he always did. To anyone looking, the intensity of his gaze might give the impression that he was deeply yearning to be up there amongst the clouds. But of course, there was no one to notice. There had been no one for many years, ever since his wife Petunia passed. He lived in an...| Meadow
I sometimes feel that what I'm doing here is building a fortress out of words. Gates of metaphor and battlements of simile. Spiraling towers of chained letters. All are welcome to come, the gates are always open, but I lie immobile in the center of the main hall, my extremities strung to the floor with consonants and vowels. All I can do is smile, and spew words, build new towers, new wings, new rooms. Tags, posts, pages, tools, they grow up around me in this my home. The fortress alive, like...| Meadow
Yesterday while I was away from home my glasses broke where the bridge attaches to the right ring. A bad place for it to break as I can't really tape the parts together without filling my right eye's vision. Thankfully I had my old pair of glasses with me. They worked but anyone who has switched gradations knows it's an uncomfortable business. As soon as I got home I decided I would at least try to put some super-bonder on them to see if I could get them to stick. I had little hopes as the ri...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-08-26 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now All of us got sick with the flu. We're now recovering and thankfully it wasn't terrible for any of us. Puppy is growing really quickly. He's almost double the size he was when we picked him up two weeks ago. We're still dealing with puppy chaos, but every day he's better behaved. Writing has been going well! I've managed to do my morning pages almost every day these past two weeks, and I'...| Meadow
One of my favorite authors of all time is Ray Bradbury. I enjoy the way he constructs tales, his frenzied kind of storytelling. I first got to know of him by reading the excellent Zen in the Art of Writing, a recompilation of essays around the art of writing stories. He's one of those authors that's really successful at just letting his own subconscious guide the whole process, and trusting the process enough to not get in the way. The best thing, he says, that a writer can do is to be observ...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-08-11 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now We have a new puppy! He's a 2 months-old border collie and is surprisingly well behaved for a puppy. Of course, he misbehaves when he's bored and has bouts of zoomies wherein everything becomes a toy (even my kids). Though he tends to be calm most of the time. I'm finding myself recovering my habit of writing morning pages! I actually only missed one day last week, which is saying a lot c...| Meadow
I've been using piclog.blue for some months now and I really love it. I don't know why I feel the need to keep two photo libraries. I guess one is for high quality photos and the other is more for the whole poetic aspect of low resolution and limited color images. I don't know, I like that it leaves a lot of the beauty to be interpreted by the person that's looking at the picture. I first stumbled upon it a long time ago while reading Rat's blog. I remember at the time thinking "what is this ...| Meadow
I've had this idea going around my head for a while that the infinite monkeys writing Shakespeare are not really, in fact, writing Shakespeare. To a reader it may seem so, or even to an external observer, but the monkey has no greater or lesser perception about what it's doing, no difference between the indifferent smashing of keys, and the indifferent smashing that produces poetry. It is true that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Not only beauty but also meaning, emotion, interpretati...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-07-28 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now Just came back home from a long holiday in Italy. Today is actually my first day back to work. I'll miss being with my family all day, but at the same time I'm excited to get back to my usual routine! I'm not a fan of Instagram, but I'm trying to use it more as it's a great way to keep in touch with people (mostly family) that I care about but with whom I don't have an ongoing corresponde...| Meadow
I was at an airport and I was late to board my plane. I had my phone out and I was frantically looking for my airplane ticket. Every time I thought I found it I would show it to the clerk who invariably proceeded to tell me that what I was showing them wasn't a valid ticket, which threw me again into a panic as I looked for it. I was flustered and stressed that I wouldn't be able to get to my flight in time. I felt like an idiot for not having had my boarding pass ready beforehand. --- I thin...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-07-14 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now Currently on a long holiday in Italy! My experiment of replacing my phone time with just reading has been going great! I've already finished three books since I started, which is a lot more than I usually read. I feel my mind is a lot freer. Though I did download Terraria to play with my brother, but we haven't had any sessions yet. I mentioned in the last "now page update" about creative...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-06-30 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now Currently on a long holiday in Italy! I've been successful at replacing all my phone time with reading rather than social media or playing games. I still do it sort of like an escape, but it's much better than what I was doing before. Creative writing practice has stalled a bit. Not because I don't want to, but I just don't seem to find the time to do it! Maybe I have some time in the eve...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-06-23 Hi, welcome to my now page! You can see previous versions of this page here. Now Currently on a long holiday in Italy! Uninstalled all card games from my phone. Now I feel like I have much more free time to use for writing or other stuff. Started doing creative writing practice every other day. Basically do around 200 words for a random writing prompt. For now it's been a great exercise at it pushes me to write with muscles I don't normally use. I've been enjoying my ...| Meadow
I've been listening to a book called On Writing, by Stephen King. At the end of one of the chapters he gives a very prescient quote "Life isn't a support system for art. It's the other way around". Holy shit. That's so true. Things happen, and we want to do other stuff. Our attention is pulled this way and that, constantly bombarded by the cool next thing, and what suffers is our art. For most people, art only happens when we're excited about it, when there's some underlying motivation mechan...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-06-16 Hi, welcome to my now page! Now Currently on a long holiday in Italy! My wife and sons are down with some fever, I hope I don't get it as well. I want to get back onto writing but I don't know how. Not just journaling, but blogging and stories. Wondering about whether the time I spend playing Magic Arena on my phone is taking time away from my other interests. I genuinely have fun, but maybe it's also an escape. I've been enjoying my time on status.cafe. I like that i...| Meadow
This week, my wife and kids went to visit my sister-in-law who lives at the beach, meaning I've had an inordinate amount of time for myself. I have to admit I feel guilty about it! They'll be coming home later today, and that got me wondering about how different (but at the same time how similar) this week has been for me. The first thing I noticed is that when the kids are here I always feel like I don't have time to do stuff. But now that they're not here I still feel like I don't have that...| Meadow
The following is an excerpt from The Heart is Noble by Ogyen Trinley Dorje (the 17th Karmapa). I thought it was especially prescient (though perhaps all that have heard this story have thought it applied perfectly to their time). --- [...] The first [story] is of a two-headed eagle; lets call it an American bald eagle. This eagle had two heads. We know from biology that each head naturally has its own brain, but this two-headed, two-brained eagle had only one body. (Sorry, this is funny scien...| Meadow
I've been working on a new personal project for some months now. It started when I migrated my blog from Bearblog to a custom, statically generated site. I'm not one to obsess about analytics (but god knows I have done so in the past) but I do care about when other people comment on the things I've written in their own blogs. I'm always happy to read what they say, be it good or bad. There's a cool technology floating around the Indie Webs called Webmentions, that is supposed to address exact...| Meadow
This evening I tried giving my dog some of her epilepsy medicine, but she just didn't want to take it. I tried all the tricks I know and nothing worked. I even put peanut butter and lasagna in her bowl! But she would just sniff at it and then turn around to lie down or go see what the cat was doing. I imagine she was probably feeling ill, but I couldn't help getting slightly angry with her. I'm sure I must've looked quite silly to a centered/grounded person. Getting angry with a dog, for bein...| Meadow
Short dream today: I dreamt I set my Meadow profile picture to an actual selfie of myself (I think this was in my Fediverse account, or maybe Bluesky). When I realized what I had done I briefly panicked before deciding it was fine, and that I was strong enough to own what I'd said in my blog. --- Even though it's short I think this is quite interesting, as it shows a joining of the Meadow persona into my real self. And it is true, but the relationship is inverted. I've shared my blog with som...| Meadow
I dreamt that I was in Italy, at the beach with my wife and in-laws. This particular beach is one I used to go to a lot with my parents when I was a kid. We were lying down on some beach loungers, just chilling, tanning ourselves. I got bored though, it was very hot under the sun so I excused myself to go and walk around the place. Before I started, but after leaving them, I got the idea of why not take the public bus and go into the nearby town and maybe have something to eat. So that's what...| Meadow
Flocking towards the water Pulled by currents we do not see All joined in a sacred dance we do not understand Look at the sun, going beyond the sea The beat of a wing The lapping of water Sirens in the distance A calm surface All pilgrims, baptized by the setting sun The deep rumble of a ship's horn Shakes the water, shakes my soul Waking me up from a deep sleep How long will it last? --- This poem came to me during a work trip to Seattle. After a long day at the office I found myself walking...| Meadow
Something I've been thinking about a lot these days is love. Love is a very loaded word, so let me try to disambiguate. I started this line of thought actually wondering what love even means. Love is sexual, it is romantic, it is sacred, it is also personal and communal at the same time. It's a tricky thing. I boiled it down to love being the feeling you get when someone really cares about you. Or at least that's what being loved feels like. Giving love is similar. I've been wondering to myse...| Meadow
I woke up in an animal cage with sunlight falling across my legs. The floor was covered with wooden chips, similar to those usually found in hamster cages. The side where my legs pointed was open to the air. Another version of myself was in the cage, rooting through the wood chips. I knew I'd stayed there overnight because he had allowed me to. I had needed to come here for some reason, though I couldn't remember why, and I felt grateful. This other person was me, yet he believed he was a mou...| Meadow
Yesterday, while driving back home, I had the realization that I should love all the things I usually don't love about myself. For example, I've always envied those who can keep a crowd's attention and awe with just their voice. I'm unable to do this. Sometimes I can be very outgoing, but most of the time I do suffer from social anxiety which keeps me back from exploding as my real self. However, this has also given me the space to observe more deeply how people feel and what they do. I think...| Meadow
This morning, my niece (11) shared with me her ideas for a story she wants to write. The story is quite complex—perhaps a bit too complex—and heavily centered around family intrigue, which I'm not entirely a fan of. Still, I was awed by the energy she's pouring into it and into her writing in general. She's really great, and the inspiration she planted in me has been simmering all day. For a moment, I thought, "Wow, where does she find all the time to work on this?" And then it hit me. Of...| Meadow
I was at some place that was like an open air, multi-story mall, and I was with my dad and my brother. We went there because some company was offering something, but you had to do some sort of exam and then they would choose the winners. I think it was sort of like a job application? I'm not sure. Anyway, we all went to this place where you could take this test. There was a booth there. We were about to enter when my dad and my brother said they needed to go do something else first so I staye...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-02-18 Hi, welcome to my now page! Thinking What it means to be truly happy Observing how much of our day to day life is like dominoes. We're at the whims of our desires and our past actions, and we don't want it to change. How hard it is to let myself be loved Spirituality, and both my lack and desire for it How to be authentic, especially in the context of creativity and communication Reading (you can also find me on StoryGraph) Be Love Now by Ram Dass Wind and Truth by Br...| Meadow
Last updated: 2025-02-18 Hi, welcome to my now page! Thinking What it means to be truly happy Observing how much of our day to day life is like dominoes How hard it is to let myself be loved Spirituality, and both my lack and desire for it How to be authentic, especially in the context of creativity and communication Reading (you can also find me on StoryGraph) Be Love Now by Ram Dass Wind and Truth by Brandon Sanderson Projects Mainly working on my new site. Adding small features no one need...| Meadow
I dreamt that I was going to Seattle for work, and my mom, my wife, my and my brother came with me. We stayed at some hotel overlooking a nice mountain. The hotel seemed really nice from the outside, but the more we walked to our rooms the more it became dirty and decrepit. My brother and I stayed in the room at the very end of the corridor, while my mom and my wife stayed in one much closer to the elevator. In the dream I didn't think this arrangement was strange. As me and my brother entere...| Meadow
Yesterday, I took my father-in-law's car to a lube center at a mall where we had some other errands to run. The guy who attended me was nice, and he took about 30 minutes to check the car and explain all the things they needed to do, and how I should do them immediately. He gave me a huge list of recommended repairs, and the total cost was quite high, around $1k. I went into a slight panic since I really don't know anything about cars or whether what he said was true. I also had no ide...| Meadow
I was in some sort of place, like a rental house or a place that was not my house. It was kind of like in Thailand or some tropical place that was not where I live in real life. A friend of my mother-in-law came to visit us and, while she was carrying my youngest (3 month old) in her arms, she saw a snake on one of the windowsills, on the inside of the house. My mother-in-law was there and she said that her friend was an expert with snakes and we shouldn't worry. The friend proceeded to obtai...| Meadow
I've seen this Blog Question Challenge going around for a while now, and recently Brandon was nice enough to challenge me! I have no idea where or why the whole thing started, but here we are. I think this came at a perfect time, as I'm trying to re-establish a blogging practice. It's nice having something like this since writing on a fixed outline is easy, almost like eating a cookie. It means I don't really need to think much about what the post will be about, as that has already been decid...| Meadow
Lately, my son has been obsessed with asking us to tell him stories. At first, I eagerly jumped on every opportunity to do so, but now I just find it tiresome. At the same time, I can't really say no to him, right? After all, he's not doing anything wrong, and stories are healthy for his brain. Or are they? Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that, in fact, it is fine for me to tell him no. After all, there can definitely be too much of a good thing. It can, I think, become a destructive beha...| Meadow
For the past month or so, I've been trying to craft (for it is an act of craftsmanship) a morning routine for myself. In an ideal world, it would look something like this: wake up around 5:20am (kids usually wake up around 7am so this gives me ~1:30 hours), get up and to some yoga1, go upstairs and make myself a coffee, drink coffee and write until kids get up.it could either be journaling or blogging, or both, depending on how I feel Of course, I almost never ever seem to be able to hit ...| Meadow
Woke up pretty early today, around 4:30 AM, and didn’t manage to go back to sleep. But all is good. I spent pretty much the whole time listening to Brandon Sanderson’s Rhythms of War, and it was awesome! It’s cool when an author can evoke a whole range of emotions and even move you to tears with just skill and imagination. It also helps that I was dedicating my full attention to the audiobook. Magic rarely happens when you're multitasking. It’s now 06:32, and I’m doing something I h...| Meadow
So yeah, hi. Hello. Ahem... Good to see you again! It's been a while, and I hope things have been going well for you. Not so long ago, my second son was born, and I stopped writing here. I kept journaling most days, whenever I managed to convince myself to get out of bed early enough, but I didn't feel like I had the time or mental energy to consistently write blog posts, keep up with what my favorite bloggers were saying, or even answer emails! But things have cooled down a bit now. My new s...| Meadow
I finally started reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I've tried to start this book many times before, but I always stopped in the first chapter or so because I felt that the author was being unnecessarily airy and, more importantly, he directly claimed that he ended up in this semi enlightened state but doesn't rightly know how he got there. This point was the point where I always stopped, but this time I decided to power through it, and in doing so I discovered I've been missing an i...| Meadow
Dreamt that I was meeting with someone at a party. That someone was a poet or at least a literary person in the Spanish language, and I had given him an appointment so that we could talk about the possibility of me hiring him to teach me to properly write in Spanish. He agreed. The whole pervasive feeling of the dream was of hope and redemption. I was feeling joyful at the idea of being able to properly write in Spanish (my main language) because my writing in English sucks. --- This is inter...| Meadow
I was in an idyllic place, a small garden, bright sunshine, a cool wind blowing across my face, my wife was there sitting on a nice metalwork chair, and we were chatting. I was extremely happy, feeling entirely complete and satisfied. This part is, I think, what made this dream stick to my mind all day. I can't imagine that I could feel any happier than I did in the dream. I wasn't doing anything "of importance," and yet I was entirely satisfied. Entirely. Blissful. It's hard to describe. But...| Meadow
Yesterday, around 1:30 AM, I woke up with a feeling that I needed to vomit. I tried getting up, but I immediately felt faint and did indeed faint. I was a bit sick all over the place. Thankfully, it was very little, so it was mostly easy to clean. However, it did leave me feeling weak. I still feel weak, though it's slowly getting better. Now, the fainting itself was not too bad. It was uncomfortable, sure, but I didn't feel like I was resisting it too much. I think that because of this, it d...| Meadow
I was going through my Obsidian notes and noticed that there are a couple of almost-finished posts that are actually quite good—more than a couple, in fact. My intuition tells me it’s both good and proper to dedicate some time to cleaning these up. I also noticed that many of these drafts are stale. The same goes for the ideas; I no longer care to write about them. Or at least, I don’t right now. "Right now" is the key phrase here. There’s no permanent right or wrong. I am not an abso...| Meadow
I use a lot of emojis when I write (especially chat), and it has always struck me as interesting that most people around me don’t. “Don’t they want to convey how they feel about this?” I ask myself. So much so that, for a long time, I thought my overuse of emojis came from a needy, co-dependent part of me that wanted to be pleasant to others and avoid any misunderstandings by being extra clear that I wasn’t angry or displeased with them through the use of the smiley face. It wasn’...| Meadow
Earlier today I was reading some new posts by Visa. There’s not much to say about that, except that he uses pretty normal words and writes very well. This might seem like an odd comment, but it stems from my reading of another post, A Brief Case on Bearblog. The author of that post is clearly a talented and experienced writer who, it must be said, writes very (very) well. However, the words they use are so fancy, and the way they’re woven is so perfect that reading them feels ?strange?1. ...| Meadow
Today, I want to write about why I do this—why I wake up early and take the trouble to get up, go upstairs, and make some coffee. I’ve been wondering about this these past few days. Why make myself go through it? Why not just stay in bed and sleep an extra hour? Such a nice, soft, warm bed. Every day I tell myself the same thing: “You’ll feel much better if you do!” And it’s true! I don’t know of any tonic that’s as good for my mood, energy, and mental health as a solid hour o...| Meadow
If you found your way to my blog, then it's likely you came here from one of the tools I've made rather than through more conventional means like Bear's Discover page. While the tools have indeed gained me some exposure, that's not the reason I made them. Why then? Well, out of sheer joy, of course. For me, there are few things as satisfying as making your own tools—being able to tell yourself, "Yeah, I want something like that," and then going ahead and creating it, watching it slowly evol...| Meadow
Long, long ago, before all the things, the two gods, the Red One and the Blue One met for breakfast. They sat down at a long wooden table, facing each other, and chatted amiably. “Ah, here comes the food!” exclaimed the Blue One, wringing his hands. A pair of servants entered, wearing richly tailored white vests with long tails and golden trimming. Each carried a plate covered with a cloche. Their stately walk took them behind one of the gods, and in unison they set the plates down and, w...| Meadow
If you're anything like me, then you're frequently told by those around you something along the lines of "Oh, don't worry about it, it's all in your head" or perhaps the more common "You're imagining things." These people usually mean well when they give such advise; they're trying to help in their own way. My parents did this all the time while I was growing up, so much so that I ended up believing it. And sometimes, it's true. It could be that "that person" is not being mean to me because t...| Meadow
I've been thinking about the sources of fear lately, and it seems to me that possibly the most commonly held belief is that all fear comes from ignorance. And this makes sense, no? In our overly scientific society, we even say, quite literally, "we fear what we don't know." At some point in human history, we knew very little about the workings of the world around us. Even quite advanced civilizations by the standard of that time did some things that to us seem silly nowadays, like believing i...| Meadow
--- Beautiful flowers are not for the faint of heart nor are they for the madman who lives his life apart. Constant worry is the norm of our days Endlessly burning our spirits away. How can we enjoy the beautiful flowers if we leave no space for joy? How can we drink of the great mother's milk when our own cup is full full to the brim of sludge, murky and dark? Better to empty our cups, and so have it full. Better yet to throw it away and through our roots draw up the sweet sap that nourishes...| Meadow
Hi! It's been a while since my last post here1, and longer still since the last time I shared a poem. YouTube recently suggested me a video2 out of nowhere, and having some time on my hands I quickly found myself immersed in the mystery that is Malcolm Guite. On his site he has many poems, but I stumbled on this one that spoke especially to me. It's a poem about the hustle and bustle culture we live in, and how we often forget to take a break and practice the art of simply sitting still. I my...| Meadow
Last night I dreamed something weird. I was part of some sort of city that lived exclusively in one very large building like a big mall. Someone was attacking/invading us and I somehow ended up as part of the makeshift army, it wasn't something I wanted to do but I felt it was my responsibility, even if I would've preferred not to harm anyone. The attacks from the invader came at night and we didn't know where they would be, so we basically roamed the building, either by ourselves or in group...| Meadow
I was never what you would considered a singer or even an outgoing person (not that the two are the same). When singing was involved I would usually remain silent, worrying that I would sound off key, or that I wouldn't know the words and people would notice, or any other myriad of possible scenarios which are common to those who worry endlessly about stuff. In some way, I perceived the act of singing as something very intimate and I never managed to break through that barrier I had imposed u...| Meadow
I'm soon traveling to Seattle for work. Surprisingly, I'm more anxious about this trip than seems reasonable, and I'm not sure why. It's not the first time I've traveled, nor is it even the first time I've gone to Seattle for work. It's actually the second time I'm going there. Now that I think about it, I can see how the first time was kind of traumatizing in some ways. Perhaps talking about it would help me work through it. Let's start from the beginning... Last time I went, I flew from my ...| Meadow
Yesterday before falling asleep I was thinking about my current drafts. Lately I've been hesitating with regards to what to publish; I have many drafts that I'm no longer excited about but I still feel like I should publish before moving on to more exciting stuff. I have this idea, this notion, of what my blog's narrative is and I'm trying to continue that narrative in a consistent way. But yesterday I realized that maybe I no longer want to continue that narrative! I've been thinking about t...| Meadow
I think I've mentioned it before but I'm father to a loving almost-2-year old ball of lard with the energy of a nuclear reactor. Many things have changed since I became a parent (including not wanting to be a parent to begin with), but the one that has impacted me the most is how fast things seem to be moving now. I know it's a cliche, people saying that time speeds up after you become a parent, but it's true. On one side this is not necessarily bad. I'm definitely much (much) busier now than...| Meadow
It was again time for the dreaded deli counter. Around once a month Gio's wife sent him over to the supermarket to buy stuff, which was all fine and good; at least the part that you could do by yourself... At least the part you did not need to speak to anyone. Many years back, the government created a way to recognize asocial members of society. In an uncharacteristic moment of cleverness they came up with a very simple, yet effective solution: the deli counter in supermarkets. Today was Gio'...| Meadow
When the world outside is a bit too much it's nice to come back to the safety and controlled calm of my computer. I know to many it can seem an illusory peace — after all a digital space is completely virtual — but to me that's not the case. Instead, it is a very real place, much like my office or my bedroom, one in which my mind can borrow into and entertain itself with other things, forgetting about what's happening out there for a bit. It's a grounding place, a resting space, and somet...| Meadow
I wanted to try my hand at what I'm calling freestyle stream of consciousness. It's a bumpier version of stream of consciousness, presented to you raw and unedited. This is an entry on my private journal from a couple of days ago. I found the style interesting and thought it would make for a fun blog post. --- Another day, another journal entry. I've been telling myself I shouldn't use these as a low-effort dump yard, so now I'm hesitant about what to write. The real problem is that lately I ...| Meadow
I recently published a post where I raised the question of how to recover inspiration about an idea after some time has passed. I didn't really conclude anything and my mind has been thinking about it ever since, feeling as if somehow I left a loose end, itching to explore other possible avenues. So, here we are! I've been specifically thinking about where inspiration comes from, and where does it go to once it's gone. Inspiration as a phenomena is hardly logical, manifesting itself as a feve...| Meadow
It's fun how sometimes I get very good ideas for things to write. Not so much that the ideas themselves are good (all ideas are the same as far as I'm concerned) it's more that I'm excited about that particular thing, itching to write it down, thinking how much fun I'll have doing so and how it might even be helpful or interesting to someone. There is an idea I keep coming back to again and again, which is how do you maintain excitement about a topic or story after the initial fever. I wonder...| Meadow
Today I dreamt I was captured to be a slave, but the whole affair was quite civil. I took a taxi to go somewhere and it instead went to this private compound and threw me out. I was assigned to a single person. Men for women and women for men. It was kind of like a cult, though I never got indoctrination besides making me feel the cult could reach me anywhere should I decide to escape. I was treated fairly, almost as an equal. My master invited me to talk and eat with her, and she was happy t...| Meadow
I've recently been thinking about the concept of following many blogs. I was worried that if I allowed myself to follow lots of people then I would eventually end up swamped by posts I wouldn't have time to read nor the heart to skip. Brandon recently answered my own post with a good point and inspired me to allow myself to explore more. I spent a couple of days just digging through the blogosphere, and as always was amazed by the diversity I found. I also realized some important things: What...| Meadow
Something I've been thinking for a while now in the back of my mind is how am I to keep up with all the new blogs that are popping up in my radar. There's also the question of whether this is something I should do or not. I think I've had a lot of luck in finding a small set of blogs I enjoy. I now have a nice blogroll, and I have around 1 new post a day to read, sometimes less, sometimes more (usually less though). I think this is a nice amount. I imagine in the future I might subscribe to a...| Meadow
I found a cool website by Manuel Moreale called The Forest which will send you to a random blog every time you click on "Walk the Forest". Most of the sites I landed on are personal websites but I did stumble on some that are promotional websites trying to get you to buy something, probably submitted by some people trying to exploit the tool to increase their reach. Anyway, I guess this is understandable since manually monitoring all the links submitted to the system would be a huge undertaki...| Meadow
Here's what I'm currently thinking about. How to be authentic, especially in the context of creativity Books I'm reading / listening: The Android's Dream ~ John Scalzi| Meadow
Yesterday I began my quest of seeing all of Studio Ghibli's films. My plan is to watch them in the same order in which they were released, so I started with Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind1. While reading about the story for this film I found out that Hayao Miyazaki was having a hard time selling his movie ideas to studios, so he ended up creating a manga of this same story, which became so popular that his publisher asked him to create a movie. During this time his producer also enlisted...| Meadow
It's funny how being sick changes your perspective on things. Many of my past goals and wants, all seem so vain when measured against the ever changing-ness of the body, of life in general. Right now I'm down with a stomach virus, feeling like a giant hand is repeatedly rinsing my insides against a washing board. ... Social status is pointless. It's worth nothing and doesn't help one in any way. It's a completely aleatory way of measuring relative value. I've written about this before in Hunt...| Meadow
I've been playing games ever since I can remember, but I didn't have the luck to stumble on text-only (often called ASCII1) games until early in college when doing my Software Engineering major (so, around 2012). It all started when I stumbled upon Dwarf Fortress2, a game where you control a group of dwarves and your goal is that of having them thrive by building production and economical systems, all through a simple text-only UI. It's more or less similar to other Real-Time Strategy games l...| Meadow
I've always had this notion that you need to be happy in order to create beautiful things. I sometimes admonish myself for not feeling joyful. Sometimes I also don't create if I'm feeling down because I feel like whatever comes out won't be as good1. Here I'm mainly thinking in the context of writing. As I've mentioned in a previous post, lately I've been watching the 10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki documentary. I think we can all agree that his stories are genius, inspiring, and all-around wond...| Meadow
Here's what I'm currently thinking about. How to be authentic| Meadow
I've been listening to Joe Hisaishi's music for Studio Ghibli and I have to say it's quite inspiring! Even if I can't place many of the songs, they're still a nice thing to listen to while working. Yesterday I noticed there's been an idea floating around my mind ever since I saw the third (or maybe the second) episode of 10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki, and is something that really comes to life in Hisaishi's music. The episode in question covers the creation of From Up on Poppy Hill, a movie th...| Meadow
Happy holidays! I thought I wasn't going to get much time to write today, considering all the family meetups and whatnot. But my son is having a nap right now and I stayed with him in the car while my wife went and helped with the preparations. I think she knew I needed some time to prepare to go through the coming afternoon. I've been giving some though about why sometimes I feel like I'm inferior to others in some way. And I think this feeling acts on different levels. For example, I have p...| Meadow
Yesterday I started watching a wonderful documentary produced by Japan's NHK called 10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki. In it we follow Miyazaki-san in a pretty intimate way as he goes through his creative process and I was completely floored by the fact that he spends so much time not really knowing what to do. We think of him (and of many other famous creators) as just this fountain of interminable ideas with perfect execution, but the truth shown in the documentary is that this is not the whole ...| Meadow
This morning I was listening to an interview by Neil Gaiman on an Icelandic TV channel. The interview itself was pretty short, only around 7 minutes or so. He talks about a variety of topics but there a specific thing he mentioned that I wanted to comment on here. I don't remember his exact words but it was something along the lines of: Humanities are disappearing. There's a lot of focus right now on the importance of kids (and adults) understanding science and engineering, and I think people...| Meadow
"You're in the presence of the great Asphirinx of Tehndor. Kneel, mortal, and know your peril. Are you seeking passage to the tomb of Tantemoh the Third? If so, know that you must pass by me. Speak now." "Wait. 'Asphirinx' you said? I thought this was the Sphinx's chamber" said the explorer, all grimy from spending three days drudging through the ancient tombs "damn, I must have taken a wrong turn" he said to himself. "Ah! Tell me not about that treacherous fiend!" spit the Asphirinx "why wou...| Meadow
Yesterday it happened again that I was reading stuff from other people and got demotivated. But then I reminded myself that while I enjoy writing for others, and enjoy the idea of fame and whathaveyou, that is not my goal. I don't want that to be my goal; I refuse for it to be. My goal is just that of doing something I enjoy. Of writing, and in the process get to know myself better, to allow change, and improve at something I like. I asked myself, "who am I writing for?". As part of my proces...| Meadow
I saw another episode of Neil Gaiman's writing masterclass yesterday in which he talked about short stories. A nice idea he brought up is that a short story can be seen as "the ending to a book you never wrote", or the beginning, or a snippet of something that happens somewhere in the middle. You go up to it, you experience it, and then you go on your way without needing to elaborate further. This clicked with me because I've always considered myself a collector of what I call "vignettes". Th...| Meadow
Time, the sweetest fruit and yet the greatest curse. Fool are they who wait to do something important with their time. There is nothing to do, nothing needs to be done, all is well. Only then can true being begin. Not out of heat and pressure, but out of the nature of your spirit. Sweet spring water trickling through layers of stone, mud, sand, and muck.| Meadow
Today our house is full with family that came to stay for the holidays. It's nice having them here, a bit chaotic but there's a lot of love going around. After a while their stay starts being a bit uncomfortable, but for now all is good. My son (~2 years old) is having lots of fun playing with his cousins, which is an extra bonus. I'm really happy that they get along so well. I wonder if it will stay like this forever (hopefully yes), or if it will be like it was for me and my cousins where w...| Meadow
I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the reflection. Who is that one staring back at me through the silvery mists? I know I have seen him somewhere, but every time I do he looks different. Now tall and sure; now hunched and meek. A true master of disguise is he, my self image.| Meadow
I've always wanted to learn how to crochet. Some of my earliest memories of my grandmother are of her sitting crocheting in front of the TV (which was so loud you were almost unable to hear your own thoughts). I remember asking her many times if she could teach me, it looked so fun and I loved the idea of being able to create things I could then wear, or even small plushies. But I never managed to get her to teach me. She always answered me with a variation of "You're a boy and crocheting is ...| Meadow
Yesterday I was catching up with some of the blogs I follow and while reading I had this subtle but oppressive feeling of disillusionment, a weight on top of mind. I was thinking to myself "wow these people are really great, they not only write very well with an extensive vocabulary and well-formed sentences, but also write engaging posts that I'm eager to continue reading". That is good for them I guess. But for me, I feel like I'm not good enough, I had the feeling yesterday that I should j...| Meadow
I was watching another episode of Niel Gaiman's masterclass yesterday (the one called Finding your own Voice) where he talks about how you need to write a lot before you're able to "find your voice" and start writing stuff that is actually good. He mentioned some quotes I really liked which I'll paraphrase here: Your voice is the things you do wrongHe said this is actually a quote from Jerry Garcia (the guitarist from Grateful Dead) If you did everything 100% correctly then you would sound ex...| Meadow
November is almost over, which means it'll soon be time for Advent of Code 2023! In case you haven't heard about it Advent of Code is a yearly event where every day the website releases a new programming puzzle (so an advent calendar with programming problems instead of chocolates) with the difficulty increasing the closer we get to the 25th. Puzzles are tied together by a story that you uncover with each solution. You can solve the problems however you want, you get a set of "input data" and...| Meadow
I've been thinking that one of the nice things about writing with a schedule is that it doesn't really matter if you feel you have anything to write about or not. At night I often think about sitting down to write something but feel like I don't have anything that's worth putting down so I just don't write. But in the few days that I've been doing doing morning pages I've noticed that good things will come out no matter what. It's like my subconscious is subverting myself — playing hide and...| Meadow
I haven't told my family (or friends) that I have a blog. I don't know why. The emotion I feel towards the idea of sharing this with them is shame. And that's just telling them of the act. Actually having them read it is positively terrifying. I've had this feeling for a while now actually, that writing is something to be done in the dark, when no one is seeing. Looking deeper I think it's because I'm afraid of them reading my stuff and then realizing I'm no good, and making fun of me in some...| Meadow
--- Warning: there are minor spoilers ahead for the movie Inside Out. --- Yesterday I re-watched Pixar's Inside Out movie with my wife and in-laws, and — as always — I was impressed by how invested I was in it. Especially near the end, you have a whole lot of emotion going on, while the story itself takes you through the process where the protagonist (Joy) learns that Sadness is important. Somehow, the emotion evoked at this point is exactly that: a mix of sadness and joy. Sad for the way...| Meadow
I've told myself it's — finally — time to go through Niel Gaiman teaches writing masterclass (which a friend shared with me many moons ago). I've had it in my list of things to watch for a looooong time now, but I always shy away from it, subconsciously avoiding it. I don't know why. I think I've always wanted to write stories which is something I used to do a lot of when I was a kid, but now I'm kind of afraid of trying and finding out I suck. I wouldn't even know where to start from, bu...| Meadow
I feel that lately I've been falling into the trap I always fall into when starting any kind of online activity: the numbers game. I do my best not to, but it still happens, like a moth flying towards an open flame I start playing it and, when I realize it, it's already too late and the magic has evaporated, my wings burned to ash. I think with the blog it started when I upgraded my account. I did so mainly because I really liked the platform and wanted to support it. Once I upgraded I notice...| Meadow
The idea of Morning Pages has been floating around my internet-space for a while now. I've always been intrigued by it but for some reason I've never tried it, even though I've read that it has been a really useful practice for multiple people. After reading some new posts about it (one of them from tiramisu) I've decided it's finally time for me to give it a try! The idea of Morning Pages was originally proposed by Julia Cameron and consists of sitting down every morning and writing three pa...| Meadow
One of my all-time favorite passages is from Sir Terry Pratchett's book Hogfather. The book tells the story of how the Hogfather — the Santa Claus figure of the Discworld — is destroyed and then saved. The story's theme, I feel, centers around the issue of the human conception of the universe and how we make sense of it. The passage I'm talking about is a dialogue that happens around the end of the book between Death and Susan — the protagonist, who is also Death's granddaughter — dis...| Meadow
Have you looked at the moon tonight? Tell me you have, just for my sake. It's been a year. I've spent my time with it every night since then, without fault. Sometimes I try to forget, I try not to look, but as if wanting to disobey I find my eyes drifting to it. It fills my thoughts in the dark of night, keeping me awake. Is it self inflicted torment? My heart aching, but glad of the vision, lives for a moment as one with it, then to fall again, then to remember the moon is out there, unreach...| Meadow
In our culture we're brought up with the latent understanding that there's always a right answer: the correct choice in an exam, the proper thing to say in certain situations, the correct way to file taxes, the proper manners we should have, etc. However, very frequently in life we're faced with the task of choosing between a number of options where it's impossible for us to determine what the optimal choices are. When we're faced with such a situation we frequently tell ourselves that if we ...| Meadow
--- 2025-01-01: my feelings about this have somewhat changed in the past year. I still hold to the fact that we should not consider each other to be only (or mainly) the roles that we take on on life. What changed is that I've come to appreciate how useful this question is as an icebreaker, and even as a conversation topic in its own right, especially when talking to people that are uncomfortable opening up about their personal stuff. --- I'm sure many of you have been asked this very questio...| Meadow
Note: this is not really a poem but the opening lines of a short article by Maria Popova. I found them so beautiful I wanted to reshare them here as poetry! --- Somewhere along the way, in the century of the self, we forgot each other. We forgot this vast and wonder-filled universe, of which we are each but a tiny and transient wonder. We forgot that all creative work — be it music or mathematics, poetry or physics, anything we might call art — is a hand outstretched in the dark, reachin...| Meadow
I consider myself to be a pretty happy person, but some days, sometimes, I just want to paint everything black. I find myself to be so angry at the world, or sometimes it's worse and instead of anger there's just sadness. I know there are certain situations that I can more or less confidently say are sort of triggers for these feelings. For example, I live with my in-laws and during the holidays all their offspring come over and stay multiple days with us. Now, I do love them and I have no re...| Meadow
As much as I would like to take credit for the title of this post, I can't. It's a phrase from the front page of The Marginalian. The quote itself is: “Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.” This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it’s hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy. The myth of the overnight success is just that — a myth — as well as a reminder that our present definition o...| Meadow
When I was first starting to make cold brew at home I had trouble finding a proper recipe to do it. Pretty much all websites that Google suggested were crappy marketing sites where the recipe was buried in a quagmire of useless content and ads. And those recipes I did find where always of the form "making cold brew is easy, just add your favorite coffee and water, leave for a day and then strain", which is something any person can infer and doesn't really tell you anything. I eventually stumb...| Meadow
