Choosing to Try: One Mother’s Journey After Her 24-Year-Old Daughter’s Death » Evermore
Two years later, I’m trying not to evaluate a string of heavy days where my grief is so raw it feels frighteningly new.| Evermore
When Grief Speaks, Love Answers: Honoring Olivia How one girl’s love and spirit continue to guide a family’s mission to support others through grief. By Reina and Mel Chan Our journey to start a family wasn’t easy. The road was long and often uncertain. We had always dreamed of building a family together, but after years of trying, we were met with nothing but heartbreak. That’s when we chose adoption. We believed it could help us fulfill that dream. We were ready to love a child, whe...| Evermore
Bo-Hawg & Evermore, A Love Story & A Fish Fry: A Deep-Fried Meaning Found in Grief How Bo-Hawg owner Greenberry Taylor injected Evermore into Pig Fish’s DNA and the culminating Fryin’ Up Good Vibes Fish Fry in Alabama that we’ve all been waiting for. Grease popping, no breeze, standing in direct sunlight, lifting coolers with 50 pounds of grouper, hands coated in cornmeal and batter, and a heat index of 107. Ah, those were the days. That’s what it was like cooking seafood with my pops...| Evermore
Supporting Grieving Families Through Rare Disease Loss: The Traces of Trinity Foundation’s Mission of Hope By Crystal Jennings In 2004, my husband Darrell and I began our life together as husband and wife, excited for the journey ahead. Early on, we knew we wanted children—children who would be close in age and close as siblings and friends. And so, in January 2007, our first daughter, Aaliyah, was born, and just under two years later, in December 2008, we welcomed our second daughter...| Evermore
Grief, In Our Own Words: Thirty-Six Hours of Forever: A Mother’s Story of Love and Loss From Joy to Loss: The Heartfelt Journey of Beatrice Kathryn By Rachel Alder Half an hour before our OBGYN entered our tiny clinic room that day, my wife and I shimmied past her six-foot-two frame in the short, narrow hallway housing the ultrasound printer. I noticed several black and white images splayed in her large hand, the other hand absently waiting for more to fall from the machine. The look on her...| Evermore
Launching the Lived Experience Bereavement Research Network: A National Dialogue on Grief, Medicine, and Future Bereavement Research By Joyal Mulheron Over the last decade, few topics have been more passionately debated among members of the grief community than the medicalization of grief care. Its prominence is hard to miss in conferences, private conversations, and the scientific literature. Most bereaved people express that there is no singular way to grieve, and it is a process that can t...| Evermore
An Unprecedented Review: 12,000+ Bereavement Studies to Improve the Quality of Future Healthcare for Bereaved Persons By Joyal Mulheron On Thursday, March 13, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) released the nation’s first report on the quality of today’s psychosocial interventions used to attend to the needs of bereaved people. For me, it was a long time coming, as I approached Congressional appropriators in 2022 to direct AHRQ to conduct this review. Over the past f...| Evermore
Honoring social worker Emily Westfal's legacy of compassion in bereavement care—advocating for grief support and building a stronger community.| Evermore
By Jena Kirkpatrick In honor of National Poetry Month this April, Evermore invites you to express your memories in ink by writing and sharing a letter poem in honor of your loved one. Share it on your favorite social media using the hashtags #evermoreforall, #NationalPoetryMonth, and #MemoriesInInk, or keep it as a personal tribute. Yet write, oh write me all, that I may join Griefs to thy griefs, and echo sighs to thine. -Alexander Pope A poem written in the form of a letter, also k...| Evermore
Grief Doesn’t Have a Timeline: Letting Go of Society’s Expectations By Nora Biette-Timmons It’s almost a rite of passage, googling “stages of grief” when you’re grieving, supporting a loved one who’s grieving, or preparing to enter a period of grieving. The idea that there are stages—that we will move through certain emotional states in a particular order—is comforting; it suggests that this pain will someday not only be lessened but over. That’s not the way grief works. S...| Evermore
This list was developed in collaboration with Dr. Donna Gaffney, an expert in children’s grief. A tragic event is difficult to comprehend for even the most mature, knowledgeable adult. For children and adolescents faced with trying to understand such an overwhelming experience, the task is even more daunting. How can a young person grasp the enormity, meaning, and consequences of an occurrence that brought death, injury, or harm into their life? These are the times, as parents and teachers,...| Evermore
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The holidays can be a difficult time for many people, for many reasons. There are the expectations — to participate fully, to spend profligately, to performatively have a good time. But the holidays can also be a wonderful, emotionally fulfilling period of quality time spent with loved ones and opportunities to treat yourself. Grieving, of course, complicates both the good and the bad of the holiday season. Grief does not go away at this time of year and can, in fact, be heightened; holid...| Evermore
As the holidays approach, we often find ourselves looking for recipes that evoke warmth, nostalgia, and a little bit of comfort. Whether it’s a creamy mac and cheese, a delicious bread, or a family recipe passed down through generations, these dishes bring people together. Here are some of my favorite holiday recipes that will make your holiday table shine! Chef Sebastian’s Mac and Cheese: The Ultimate Comfort Dish “The holidays are hard, but mac and cheese is good.” Nothing says c...| Evermore
Right now, the Social Security Administration (SSA) is soliciting public comments on the use and conversation of Social Security benefits and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) payments for foster children, including those who are orphaned. Your comments are important, and you can take action by re-submitting Evermore’s formal comments to the SSA, which recommends the federal agency focus on three priorities: 1) Address under-enrollment in both Social Security benefits and SSI, as only half...| Evermore
With Evermore’s support and encouragement, Congress passed the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2023, directing the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to produce a report on the need for bereavement and grief services in the United States. Last week, just prior to the national election, the report was released to the public. To our knowledge, it is the first report by the U.S. and a direct result of Evermore’s leadership. The report examined the scope of need for quality grief...| Evermore
By Nora Biette-Timons In November 2021, Viennia Lopes Booth went to visit her dad for the first time in a couple of months. When he opened the door, she was “shocked,” she shared during a death care conference in September. “I hadn’t seen him in two months, and he looked like a dead man walking.” He told her that it was merely his sciatica flaring up and that it was “getting better,” but that was clearly not the case. After two days of Lopes Booth begging him to seek medical att...| Evermore
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By Nora Biette-Timons Earlier this summer, throughout the month of June, we celebrated the joy of queerness, the joy of embracing one’s authentic self and sexuality. We hold this love and delight in our hearts throughout the year—but we also remember that public Pride celebrations did not come easily: Queer existence has a painful history, and the fights for equality and recognition are far from over. Throughout these fights, queer widows and widowers have told stories of the saddest mome...| Evermore
You Were Bigger Than the Whole Sky By Nora Biette-Timons In “You’re On Your Own, Kid,” a ballad about growing up and feeling alone, pop superstar Taylor Swift sings, “So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid… You’re on your own kid, yeah, you can face this.” The song was never released as a single, and never received much specific publicity, but it immediately became a hit among Swift’s fans (known as Swifties), who ad...| Evermore
By Nora Biette-Timons Hip hop therapy” was first conceptualized in the 1990s, by Dr. Edgar Tyson. In a 2002 academic paper, he wrote that “treatment innovations that are culturally sensitive and demonstrate promise…are of significant importance to practitioners working with at-risk and delinquent youth,” but noted that, up to that point, rap and hip-hop had not been among the tools that had been thoroughly explored. The teens (who had experienced traumatic conditions as children) who ...| Evermore
Cherokee Nation Art Classes and Art Show in Tahlequah, Oklahoma In 2022, Evermore recognized the alarming trends in childhood bereavement and had to act. After partnering with Penn State and the University of Southern California to release America’s Forgotten Orphans, the nation’s first report documenting a 20-year rise in the experience of parental death across every race and ethnicity, and every state. We found an alarming statistic: Indigenous children have experienced parental loss at...| Evermore
Got Questions? National Call to Discuss the U.S. Government’s First Report on Grief & Bereavement We’re Here to Answer Your Questions: Join Us! ]In May, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), a little-known government agency, released its draft report, “Interventions to Improve Care of Bereaved People.” This is the U.S. government’s first report on grief and bereavement, and AHRQ is accepting public comments until Friday, June 28, 2024. You can submit your comments ...| Evermore
Advancing Bereavement Leave for All Students in Higher Education Each year, over 4 million students in higher education are socially and academically impacted by bereavement Losing a loved one at any juncture can alter the course of a life; navigating grief is a fraught and difficult process in the best of times. But for students in higher education—from trade schools to elite universities—it can be particularly overwhelming and cause them to abandon their studies. According to some exper...| Evermore
Who Owns Our Stories? The Fever Pitch and the Harm of True Crime By Nora Biette-Timmons There doesn’t appear to be one singular moment when America went true-crime crazy. In the 1990s and early 2000s, tabloids and popular magazines published what they considered salacious details of violent crimes that captured their readers’ imagination. NBC’s Dateline premiered in 1992, and has spent the last three decades reporting out crimes week after week, and remains a major success: In 2023...| Evermore
When someone close to us dies, we’re hardly in the right frame of mind to handle logistics and practical matters. Yet, often, this is the first thing we’re forced to confront. There’s the matter of the deceased’s body and how it will be handled, but also funeral arrangements and ceremonial planning to honor the life of the person we’re grieving. Funeral planning requires people to make multiple decisions while experiencing difficult and intense emotions. Making matters even more cha...| Evermore
PAUSE: Producing Safe, Culturally-Specific, Expert-Informed Grief and End-of-Life Resources Across America How three Black-led grief organizations are building resources for communities of color through education and conversations. By Nora Biette-Timmons[ In the summer of 2020, after the police killing of George Floyd sparked nationwide protests over entrenched racism and inequality, Alica Forneret paused to make a decision. Her career was already focused in grief spaces; after her mother’s...| Evermore
Beyond Beats Hip-Hop’s Journey Through 50 Years of Grief By Nora Biette-Timmons Last year, American culture celebrated 50 years of hip-hop. At the 2023 Grammys, some of the genre’s most legendary performers—Missy Elliot, Busta Rhymes, Ice T, Method Man—performed snippets of their groundbreaking songs in an exhilarating, 13-minute mash-up performance. The facade of the main building of the Brooklyn Public Library was lit up with Jay-Z lyrics. CBS hosted an hour-and-a-half long celebrat...| Evermore
Evermore Submits Comments to AHRQ on Interventions to Improve Care of Bereaved Persons Bereavement’s long-standing absence from public policy debates and national health priorities, along with its newfound urgency, requires sound leadership and an aggressive agenda to address the substantial challenges confronting our nation’s grieving population. Today, America lacks a comprehensive, coordinated, and evidence-based bereavement care system that is protective and mitigates bereavement’s ...| Evermore
Federal Government Requests Comments on Interventions to Improve Care of Bereaved Persons In 2023, and as a result of your hard work, Congress directed The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) to establish an evidence base for what constitutes high-quality bereavement and grief care. This systematic review will inform an independent subject matter expert panel that will assess the feasibility of developing consensus-based quality standards for high-quality bereavement and grief c...| Evermore
Congress Recedes on Bereavement Leave in the FY24 National Defense Authorization Act Over the last few weeks, many of you called your U.S. Senators seeking their support in allowing the U.S. Armed Forces to return home when their parents die. This bereavement leave would be an added provision to last year’s National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) language that allows the U.S. Armed Forces to receive 14 days of paid bereavement leave for the death of a spouse or child. The U.S. House of Re...| Evermore
We Have Achieved So Much Because Of You Ten years ago, no one talked about bereavement‘s impact on us or the trajectory of our lives. Today, bereavement is highlighted in major media outlets, in the halls of Congress, and in our communities. Thousands of people believe in our vision, which has been humbling and inspiring. It is all possible because of you. In January 2020, before COVID-19 came to the United States, we took your stories and quality data to Congress with a message that bereav...| Evermore
Visionary & Trailblazing Attorney Kenneth Feinberg Offers Five Reflections On Bereavement After serving thousands of families, victim compensation attorney Kenneth Feinberg offers five reflections on grief and bereavement. By Joyal Mulheron with support from Maddie Cohen Visionary and trailblazing attorney Kenneth Feinberg has long been called upon by U.S. presidents, families, and survivors to navigate payouts following mass tragedies. He started his career as a settlement specialist f...| Evermore
A Grieving Parent Turns Pain into a Purpose Following the death of his teenaged son, Blake, Tom Barklage fought to secure bereavement leave for Johnson & Johnson employees around the world By Maddie Cohen After his son Blake died, Tom Barklage took time off to make space for his grief. Little did he know the loss would result in a push to expand his employer’s bereavement care. Today, the high-level manager has made it his mission to change lives for the better. Grief alters the cours...| Evermore
The scale and reach of the Maternal and Child Health (MCH) Block Grant—with current appropriations of $712,700,000—is indisputable, as 93 percent of pregnant women, 98 percent of infants, and 60 percent of children are touched. While impressive progress has been made in important benchmarks, including the 25 percent decline in infant mortality since 1997, bereavement remains absent from the MCH Block Grant scope. This omission is notable as the agency’s technical advisement manual to st...| Evermore
By Cynthia Prestidge Grief teaches a mother lessons she never wanted to learn My husband Brad came home to tell me what he had learned minutes earlier. Sarah is gone… Our Sarah-Grace. Our beautiful 24-year-old daughter. Dead. With three words and within mere seconds, I was shattered, gutted, disoriented. Any word that implies destruction, pain or confusion is relevant to that moment, but none alone, or combined, capture the devastation and confusion I felt after hearing those words. Two yea...| Evermore
By Terri Schexnayder Five new releases have landed in bookstores and audible programs recently. Each one delivers the topics of grief and loss through unflinching honesty with the author’s personal story—some even include moments of humor. We encourage you to read and share with bereaved family and friends these selected books. Dina Gachman’s self-help book, So Sorry for Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief and Other Grave Concerns, was released on April 11, 2023. Since losing h...| Evermore
By Jena Kirkpatrick Jason Edwards grew up in the small town of Graham in West Texas where being gay was not accepted. Pegged as the class ‘gay boy,’ he was bullied relentlessly. His dad tried to spark his interest in sports and Edwards recalled being out on the field spinning around like Wonder Woman. “I was always different,” he said. On June 7, 2000, Edwards’ sister, Bella, was killed in an automobile accident. “It was like a part of me had been cut off—and I was just bleed...| Evermore
Open for comment until 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time on Friday June 2, 2023 One of the most hotly debated topics in bereavement care is whether all grief is normative or a diagnosable condition. For the first time, the federal government is beginning to examine scientific evidence on when grief is normative and when, if ever, does it limit daily life and function. As part of the FY23 U.S. budget process, Congress passed a $1 million appropriation directing the Agency for Healthcare Research and Qu...| Evermore
Forgotten by most of society, Maryam Henderson experienced two devastating events that ultimately changed her course: a 25-year prison sentence and the death of her son, Augustine. Maryam was serving her sentence at St. Gabriel’s Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women when she received the news that her oldest son had died in a motorcycle accident. There were no social or mental support systems available for Maryam. In addition to the absence of professional assistance, she could not ev...| Evermore
Kevin, a fierce protector of his nine siblings and Nancy and Ray’s son. A Bereaved Mother’s Day Dr. Mom, otherwise known as Nancy, is an unflappable mother of ten and leads her large family with grace, instilling a deep love for life in all her children. As a psychotherapist who specializes in addiction and trauma, she has a soft spot for people and falls in love easily, especially with children. Kevin was no different. Kevin joined the twelve-member brood at the age of fourteen. “We g...| Evermore
Across America, powerful imagery and musical cadence ring out in coffee shops and onto the page during National Poetry Month. Launched by the Academy of American Poets in April 1996, the month-long recognition celebrates the poets’ integral role in our culture and society. We are reminded that poetry matters. Evermore’s very own Jena Kirkpatrick (editor of this newsletter!) has been a poet for over three decades, and when her son, Ellis, died, she was gifted What Have You Lost?, an anthol...| Evermore
Dear Friends unknown, We are joined together by so many things in grief. Maybe there’s a luminous cord connecting us through sleepless hours and hardest times. The poet Jack Ridl told me years ago, after my father died, “Grief is an ambush. When you’re least expecting it, it rises up again…” Poetry is a close focus on something cared about. Whether you are writing or reading a poem, the poem (if you like and relate to it) brings you into an intimate space of details and affect...| Evermore
Before my son Finn died, I already had a daily writing practice in place. The day he died was the first night I hadn’t written a poem in over thirteen years. And then I didn’t write at all for the first seven weeks after his death. I suppose on the surface then it would look as if it shut the writing down, but in fact, I believe that this break opened me up. I wanted to be (really more like had to be) open to the pure experience of the wide spectrum of feelings I was having—such devasta...| Evermore
Losing anyone in your life affects EVERYTHING in your life. Your perspectives shift. You question your own mortality. Losing someone close to you makes you feel like a raw nerve in a world of razor-wire. Everything hurts. Losing my dad just before becoming a father, seemed extra-ordinarily cruel and ironic. But, contemplating that cruel irony eventually led me through the “Why me” of it— to the “Why NOT you” of it! This marked the beginning of a more philosophical, questioning t...| Evermore
I lost a best friend, fellow vagabond, and gifted poet to a long battle with cancer. We traveled and performed together for years. We joked over homemade-hotel-room drinks about how the $31 we raked in from the donations for the night’s house concert, or whatever it was we could drum up, weren’t even enough to pay for the liquor we’d bought before the gig. And he walked with me through the shadows of the “relative loss” of my young daughter through divorce. (Although, now in her mid...| Evermore
First, I have lived long enough to have outlived most of the people who were important to me when I was young. My parents died years ago. My younger brother died three years ago. All but one of my aunts and uncles have died. Cousins have died. Many close friends have died. At this point, I am reminded of a recurring mantra in Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five: “So it goes.” I don’t find myself weeping for them. I do talk to some of them now and then on my long walks down the narrow ...| Evermore
My own loss and the deep grief that accompanies it brought about profound change in the way I experience creativity. Deep loss breaks you down in a way that also cracks you open. There is loss of control and surrender. Tears and sorrow pour out, but light also pours in. I learned to listen to my voice in whispers — my intuition — instead of dismissing it. Instead of trying to craft something that made sense, I listened to thoughts and wrote down what came, almost like transcribing. Then I...| Evermore
By Prerna Shah When a loved one dies, many family members seek bereavement leave to attend to family affairs, their grief, and sort through the many changes that invisibly unfold behind closed doors. It may be surprising to learn that most employees have no legal right to take leave, except in five states in America (learn more about state bereavement laws here). The Family Medical Leave Act, also known as FMLA, provides job and benefits protection for 56 percent of the United States workforc...| Evermore
By Terri Schexnayder Country music’s familiar heart-tugging lyrics of country-western ballads about cheating, love lost, and traveling roads in pickup trucks always seems to have a place for grief. Hits are littered with songs about love, death, grief, and faith as artists share their feelings and coping strategies ranging from tears to whiskey. Steve Seskin is a name you might not know, but he’s written seven number one hit songs and is a two-time Grammy-nominated songwriter for songs th...| Evermore
By Terri Schexnayder Often, when someone dies, we seek to support the grieving family in a meaningful way. In a sign of solidarity and love, we attend memorials or funerals, send condolences, prepare meals, and sometimes participate in athletic events or donate to fundraisers for a related cause. When a child or teenager loses a parent, their lives can be upended. Beyond losing the relationship, a child may experience food or housing insecurity, loss of healthcare, or even logistical cha...| Evermore
By Terri Schexnayder For millions of people living in America, the death of a child is a tragedy that silently unites many, even presidents. President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has cited his son’s death, Beau, as motivation to run for president and has shared his reflections and experiences on grief and loss in many eulogies. Former President George H.W. Bush advanced global health measures citing the death of his three-year-old daughter, Pauline Robinson (“Robin”), who died of leukemia in th...| Evermore
By Brittiny Moore Whether at a small church, or one that seats thousands, Black funerals – or homegoing celebrations – are expressions of mourning that honor Black life, love, and community. Homegoing celebrations are a fixture in Black communities, and elaborate and festive rituals that blend African ancestry with the Christian religion. During the antebellum period, enslaved Africans were prohibited from performing funerals and traditional rituals, for fear that they would conspire to...| Evermore
In 2022, our community of supporters has grown by more than 50 percent for the second consecutive year. Our movement consists of people from every corner of America – from truck drivers to professors to homeschoolers and executives. We unite in solidarity to create a more compassionate world for those who will follow us. What do we do with the pain of loss? We create change. We’ve done that in 2022, and we are on the cusp of much more. This year has been the most consequential yet in the ...| Evermore
It was the beginning of her junior year at the University of South Carolina (UofSC) when Mairead Peters’ cousin unexpectedly passed away. Not only was Peters just getting settled into her new class schedule, she was now forced to navigate the school year while wading through the shock and pain of her grief. The following semester, Peters also experienced the death of her father. Despite losing two loved ones in such a short period of time, Peters decided to continue her studies, hoping ...| Evermore
Earlier this month, Evermore hosted a conversation with Dr. Emily Smith-Greenaway, a grief and bereavement researcher in California and associate professor of sociology and spatial sciences at the University of Southern California, to discuss her research on bereaved people and her work on the COVID-19 bereavement multiplier. The bereavement multiplier is a tool used to track how many people have been directly impacted by a COVID-19 death. According to research findings from Dr. Smith-Greenaw...| Evermore
Since October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month – which aims to bring more acknowledgement and recognition to the grief, stress, and hardship parents experience after a miscarriage or the death of a newborn baby – we decided to share three stories of loss to contextualize this unique, and challenging maternal experience. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 20,000 infants died in the U.S. in 2020 before their first birthday – that...| Evermore
Jena Kirkpatrick was hesitant to visit a medium after experiencing the death of her 19-year-old son, Ellis McClane, who died in a car accident in 2011. But five years after her loss, Jena decided to take a chance and scheduled an appointment. “That’s something everyone wants for the people who have passed — to talk to them again,” says Kirkpatrick, who also works at Evermore coordinating communications and outreach. However, Jena felt uncomfortable during her reading. She was keen...| Evermore
As many as half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even though 87 percent of women have experienced a miscarriage while employed, an alarming number of women aren’t aware that the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows for time off from work after a miscarriage and stillbirth. These were the findings from a survey conducted by InHerSight in partnership with Evermore. InHerSight uses data to help women find employers and companies that support women’s goals and needs. This survey, co...| Evermore
Earlier this month, Evermore hosted a conversation with Toni Miles, M.D., Ph.D., a grief and bereavement researcher in Georgia and Morehouse School of Medicine adjunct professor, to discuss the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) — a health-related survey of adults that measures certain behaviors, such as seatbelt use, smoking, and substance use. [Watch the full conversation here.] While the BRFSS asks a number of questions...| Evermore
Experiencing the death of a loved one can be one of the most traumatic and painful experiences someone can face in life. Such losses can be overwhelming, resulting in intense and difficult emotions of sadness, emptiness, shock, and despair. The bereavement process that conjoins grief — the handling of a loved one’s affairs, the navigation of various systems (medical, law enforcement, government benefits, health care) — only adds to the mental distress many families experiences. [Read ...| Evermore
Just How Many People In America Have Lost A Loved One? The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is one of the nation’s most-trusted, science-based sources of data on public health in the United States. For more than 70 years, this government agency has been monitoring the nation’s health landscape and providing guidance to the public on how to prevent and respond to health threats. It collects myraids of data on national health trends, including mortality rates related to homi...| Evermore
Why Is Our Nation So Far Behind In Grief and Bereavement Services and Policies? National Grief Awareness Day — observed annually on August 30 — was created by Angie Cartwright, who’s experienced immense grief in her life after the loss of her baby sister, newlywed husband, and mother. She helped establish this day of awareness in 2014, coinciding with her mother’s birthday, to encourage open and honest communication centering the myriad ways we cope with loss and bereavement, and to...| Evermore
With Teacher Shortages, Community Programs for Grieving Kids Are More Important Than Ever With the back to school season in full swing, all of us with students in our homes have probably heard about the critical shortage of teachers. Reports say that our country lacks a whopping 300,000 teachers and support staff. In an interview with ABC News, Becky Pringle, the president of the National Educators Association, said, “We know that this has been a chronic problem. This is not new. We h...| Evermore
The Time Is Now to Invest in Grieving Young People Recently, NPR covered a fascinating club for teenage students experiencing the death of a parent. The article follows the story of a high school sophomore named Elizabeth, whose father passed from COVID-19 last year. More than anything, this reporting shows that the time is now to invest in community-centered programs for grieving young people and that our approaches should include all children experiencing grief. Rhitu Chaterjee write...| Evermore
Close the Loophole! – Universal Paid Leave Should Include Bereavement Leave Due Monday, August 15th! Earlier this year, you made phone calls, sent emails, called your friend in order to add paid bereavement leave to our nation’s policy conversations. You did it and it was the first time Washington included paid bereavement leave to its paid leave agenda, an amazing accomplishment. In classic Washington fashion, however, Congress passed a law that provides two weeks of paid leave for the d...| Evermore
Grief is a powerful dual-edged emotion that can result in a dull, undulating pain which can be paralyzing and suffocating or, if channeled appropriately, can swell into rage and anger that moves each of us — or societies — to do things that once seemed impossible. Such collective grief, outrage and injustice sparked the “fierce urgency of Now” movement against gradualism decades ago and, I believe, resulted in the election of President Barack Obama, our nation’s first Black presiden...| Evermore
For 25 years, visual artist Suzanne Brennan Firstenberg has comforted families in mourning as a hospice volunteer. And with each new family she’s consoled came lessons about the scope of grief, its impact, and the lack of spaces for people to express their deep sorrow. Firstenberg brings those experiences to her latest work — a sprawling public art exhibition that honors the 684,400 people and counting who have died from COVID-19 in the United States. “In America: Remember” opened o...| Evermore
Tell Congress To Protect Jobs for Newly Bereaved Families Imagine how many families have lost a loved one in the past year. Our nation’s collective grief is inescapable and it has impacted all of us. Today, there are no federal legal protections for newly bereaved families except for narrow exceptions. Congress must act! Workers can lose a loved one and then their job, all in a day’s time. While most employers do whatever they can to be supportive, some do not and none are legally bound...| Evermore
White House Considers Bereavement Leave: ACT NOW! One of the most glaring results of COVID-19 is the lack of systemic bereavement care in the United States. Most Americans who have lost a loved one have no legal right to take leave, paid or unpaid. And this is not a new problem but the pandemic and has brought bereavement to the nation’s attention. Right now, due to unique circumstances, we have an opportunity to push for the passage of bereavement leave, an important jobs protection mea...| Evermore
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivering “the fierce urgency of Now” during the I Have a Dream speech taken August 28th, 1963, Washington D.C, United States. The Fierce Urgency of Now: Modernizing Bereavement Care Today, armed American troops guard the heart of Washington, D.C., including the steps of the Lincoln Memorial where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered one of the most important speeches to our nation in 1963. We must take notice that his words are just as relevant, true and urg...| Evermore
It has been over five years since we lost you. When we found out we were having twins, we were so excited, overwhelmed and scared. From one of the very first ultrasounds, I was concerned that you were measuring smaller.| Evermore
The creators behind a new documentary set to air on public media channels across the country in May want to start a national conversation about a topic that many shy away from — grief. The goals for “Speaking Grief” are twofold: to validate the experience of grief through the stories of those mourning the death of family members and also to make it easier for the rest of us to support the grieving. So many times, says Lindsey Whissel Fenton, the senior producer at WPSU who is producing,...| Evermore
For the first time in history, key federal health agencies will report what activities, if any, they are doing to advance bereavement care. Photo by Bob Bowie on Unsplash As Congress shut its doors and fears of COVID-19 swept the nation, a small group of families and professionals worked tirelessly to advance our nation’s bereavement care system. We know that lack of high-quality, consistent bereavement care is an invisible public health crisis. It touches nearly every doorstep in Ameri...| Evermore
For too long, too many have considered bereavement as simply a mental health issue. When a family member or loved one dies, those grieving experience a deep sadness as their lives are changed fundamentally forever. Conventional wisdom tells us a bereaved individual or family will eventually “get over it,” “find closure” and “move on.” But, those commonly held myths are far from the truth. Research continues to show that a loved one’s death isn’t something that we just “come...| Evermore
As another decade comes to a close and Evermore marks its fifth year working to improve bereavement care in the United States, we have reason to celebrate 2019. Here at Evermore, we made big strides toward building our team and raising awareness about the need to support grieving parents. Meanwhile, across the country, new initiatives and research moved forward the conversation about how to support the bereaved. Evermore in 2019: Advocacy and awareness Julie Kaplow, PhD, ABPP (left) Wendy Lic...| Evermore
How CuddleCot is changing the care system for stillbirth families The scene opens with a woman, curled up on a hospital bed. A doctor enters, rolling in a white bassinet. “This is called a CuddleCot,” he explains. “It’s a special bassinet that keeps stillborn babies cool so they can stay with their parents a little longer… even after they’re gone.” Inside is the woman’s stillborn baby, Sophie. “It’s so …” the mother whispers. “Morbid?” the doctor responds. “These...| Evermore
Two grieving mothers seek efforts to bring transparency, safety to college abroad programs Ros Thackurdeen remembers the hype as she sat through a college study abroad session with her youngest son Ravi at Swarthmore University.| Evermore
After his son Reid died in a car crash, Tim Hollister helped transform Connecticut’s teen driving laws. The provisions include earlier curfews, no electronic devices, a two-hour teen driving safety course for both teens and their parents and restrictions on who can ride with young drivers. Evermore is dedicating this Father’s Day week to bereaved dads who will always be fathers. A teen driver on an unauthorized joy ride. At night. On a road he probably had never driven before. With teenag...| Evermore
Kelly Farley and Barry Kluger are the dads behind the Parental Bereavement Act. Evermore is dedicating this Father’s Day week to bereaved dads who will always be fathers. Kelly Farley and Barry Kluger met because of a horrible coincidence: They knew what it was like to mourn a child. For Kluger, it was his 18-year-old daughter Erica, who died in a car crash in 2001. For Farley, it was two children — his daughter Katie, who died by miscarriage in 2004, and his son Noah, who was stillborn i...| Evermore
In a new memoir, Once More We Saw Stars, father Jayson Greene vividly recounts the raw feelings after his two-year-old daughter Greta died and his continuous journey through grief. Evermore is dedicating this Father’s Day week to bereaved dads who will always be fathers. A stunning accident claimed the life of two-year-old Greta Greene in 2015, when a piece of masonry fell from a building on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and struck her in the head. In a new memoir, Once More We Saw Stars...| Evermore
Camp Erin is the largest national bereavement program for kids and teens ages 6 to 17 who are mourning the death of someone close to them. Photo courtesy of Frank McKenna. Evermore is giving focus to younger siblings who have suffered the death of a brother or sister. During the summer months, many surviving siblings are away from the structure and support system that school provides. Being with caring adults and peers who share their experience is extremely important. Bereaved parents are of...| Evermore
In one study grieving parents ranked support groups and psychics as the most helpful in coping with their grief. Photo courtesy of Yeshi Kangrang. An expert on grief says bereaved parents shouldn’t discount the benefits One of the most difficult aspects of dealing with the death of a loved one is its finality. Surviving family members may have great difficulty accepting the fact that they will never speak with their loved one again. Consequently, some bereaved individuals decide to contact ...| Evermore
A leading expert in child death investigations talks about his unlikely career. A parent’s response to grief comes in many forms. And, after decades as a medical examiner, Dr. Thomas Andrew, among the country’s leading experts on child death, knows all about that. Andrew is New Hampshire’s former chief medical examiner and spent decades conducting autopsies and describing to loved ones, often parents, about why somebody died. Some are angry. Unlike in television crime shows, autopsies o...| Evermore
47% of surveyed kids under age 18 believe their life will be harder than it will be for other people. Photo by Chinh Le Duc on Unsplash. Evermore’s next few stories will have a “Back to School” theme focusing on both younger children and college-aged students. We are giving focus to siblings who have suffered the death of a brother or sister. Returning to school without their siblings can be painful reminder. Being with caring adults and peers who share their experience is extremely ...| Evermore
Julie Kaplow, on the left, serves as the Director of the Trauma and Grief Center in Houston, Texas, will be launching the Handle with Care program for children who have witnessed a death. In August we are focusing on “Back to School” at Evermore. We are giving focus to siblings who have suffered the death of a brother or sister. Returning to school without their siblings can be painful reminder. Being with caring adults and peers who share their experience is extremely important. Bereaved...| Evermore
Two grieving mothers seek efforts to bring transparency, safety to college abroad programs Ros Thackurdeen remembers the hype as she sat through a college study abroad session with her youngest son Ravi at Swarthmore University. “It was pretty exciting,” Thackurdeen said. “I wanted to go on it. You had students who talked about their experiences … You didn’t hear anything bad about it.” But there was no happy ending for Ravi, who ended up on a study abroad trip to Costa Rica to st...| Evermore
June 2013, during recovery from what was supposed to be a routine heart catheterization to assess his heart condition, Ron Kelly’s son’s heart failed. Doctors weren’t able to revive 16-year-old Jon. Today Ron helps other grieving fathers, particularly those in the workplace. After struggling with identity after his son’s death, Ron Kelly helps other men mourn *Evermore is dedicating this Father’s Day week to bereaved dads who will always be fathers. R. Glenn “Ron” Kelly’s son...| Evermore
Bea’s parents — Rachel and Erin Alder say they are “extraordinarily pleased” by Seattle City Council’s unanimous vote for paid bereavement leave and were thankful for the support they received throughout the process. City employees no longer face impossible choice: to mourn their child or keep your job This week, the Seattle City Council passed “Bea’s Law,” which extends paid family care leave benefits to city employees when their child dies. It is possibly the first pai...| Evermore
Bryan Burgess was killed in action during a 2011 deployment to Afghanistan just 16 days before he was scheduled to return home — a few weeks shy of his 30th birthday. Telling and re-telling the story of his son’s life and sacrifice pulled Terry Burgess from deep depression In the early morning hours before Terry Burgess learned that his son Bryan had been killed in action in Afghanistan, he had a vivid dream. “We’re in this outdoor movie theater, me and Bryan,” Terry remembers. ...| Evermore
Bryan Burgess (center) was killed in action during his final 2011 deployment to Afghanistan just 16 days before he was scheduled to return home — a few weeks shy of his 30th birthday. His parents Terry and Beth created Gold Star Parents retreat and network in his honor. Grieving Bryan, their son who gave all, Texas parents Terry and Beth Burgess found hope by creating supports for fellow Gold Star families When Bryan Burgess was seven years old, he and his father Terry visited a frie...| Evermore
Child deaths, especially those that occur in mass tragedies, are the subject of significant news coverage. Frank Ochberg, chairman emeritus of the Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma at Michigan State University, said that journalists have an important role to play in covering child death and trauma. A pioneer in trauma research shares how news stories can provide solace Not every child death makes front page news, but the headlines seem to blare details about another one daily. Mass shoo...| Evermore
Photo courtesy of Cynthia H. Craft. An award-winning USA Today reporter talks about why she’s covered child death for so long It’s been nearly 23 years, but USA Today reporter Jayne O’Donnell won’t ever forget the moment. Jayne O’Donnell, health policy reporter, USA Today. After writing a series of articles in 1996 that prompted the federal government to make airbags safer for children, a group representing the families of the 26 children who had died invited O’Donnell to their fi...| Evermore
Photo courtesy of AbsolutVision on Unsplash. Evermore’s founder to speak at journalism conference Raising the visibility about the long-lasting effects on parents and siblings after a child dies is a central goal for Evermore, and Joyal Mulheron, Evermore’s founder and executive director, will do just that when she addresses healthcare journalists in early May. Mulheron will attend the Association of Health Care Journalists’ annual conference in Baltimore and participate in a workshop-...| Evermore
“Don’t Lean Into The Brokeness,” Joyal Mulheron, The Huffington Post, July 19, 2017. Child death ‘more common’ than many realize, hits black Americans disproportionately The connections we form with our family and friends benefit our mental health, physical health and longevity in countless ways. So, it’s no surprise that the loss of those close relationships, particularly through death, can be devastating. In fact, research identifies the death of a significant other as one of th...| Evermore
Your life is a box, and this grief is a box inside that box, and it’s occupying a large portion of it. And as life continues, the bigger box gets bigger and that grief, it doesn’t change in size. It’s still there, but there’s just more room in your life, other aspects of it.| Evermore
When a child dies, what happens next makes all the difference. Evermore works to de-stigmatize the issues bereaved parents face and advise employers, law enforcement, schools and health care about what grief stricken families need to survive one of the worst traumas a human can experience. Photo by Jonatán Becerra on Unsplash. Why we need to know more about the hardships parents, siblings face when a child dies The repercussions of a child’s death extend far beyond the grief of their par...| Evermore
When a child dies, what happens next makes all the difference. This article brings focus to the cascading consequences of parent grief that our nation’s lawmakers and changemakers can do something about. Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash. From job losses to social media trolls, there’s always something When a child dies, a family deeply grieves. They plan a funeral, gathering pictures and keepsakes to share at a memorial. Friends and neighbors bring over food, but know it’s not enough. ...| Evermore
Two years later, I’m trying not to evaluate a string of heavy days where my grief is so raw it feels frighteningly new.| Evermore
