You Don't Need To Want To
People are smart. We know what healthy behaviors are. Ask yourself these questions: | 215060
People are smart. We know what healthy behaviors are. Ask yourself these questions: | 215060
This one won’t be a favorite of animal lovers, but it illustrates an important aspect of human life. In an experiment, a dog was placed in a cage with metal grating as the floor and a divider to make two sides. The first part involved turning on an electric current on both sides of the cage. The dog would jump from one side to the other attempting to avoid the shock. It eventually stopped jumping and lay down, as it realized there was nothing it could do to escape the shock. After the shock...| 215060
I’m standing in line at the grocery store. The woman ahead of me has a child sitting in the grocery cart as they check out. The child asks for a candy bar and the mother replies “not today.” The child asks in a louder tone of voice and the mother lowers her tone but becomes more serious with “no.” This doesn’t please the child, who then starts crying and screaming for a candy bar. People around notice what’s happening, which is not lost on the mother. As the child’s screaming ...| 215060
One of the most common (and least appreciated) aspects of being anxious is anticipatory anxiety. This involves the time before a feared/anxiety-provoking event. People typically become focused on the what-if’s in terms of the bad things that could happen, and nearly every time they explain afterwards how the event wasn’t nearly as bad as they had feared. | 215060
We’ve all been in the position of being hurt or frustrated with someone’s behavior. Perhaps it’s our spouse, partner, friend, child, or another family member. Their repeated actions have left us frustrated to the point of our stating what changes are needed. Appropriate assertiveness is a good thing. The problem can be how we handle their attempts to change. | 215060
In the spirit of this time of the year when many make New Year’s resolutions, one of the ways we can think through maintaining changes is thinking long. | 215060
I was thirteen years old and motivated. I’d just watched Rocky Balboa train in Siberia and take out the steroid-infused monster that was Ivan Drago. I was able to convince my parents to get a weight set and I was getting ready to be a muscle man. I even worked out a few times. Then the training stopped because, well, I didn’t feel like it. Even hearing "Eye of the Tiger" on repeat couldn’t get me feeling it. | 215060
You may have heard of the myth (yes, it’s a myth) of the boiling frog. It goes something like this – if you put a frog in a pot of hot water it will jump out. But if you put it in a pot of tepid water and slowly warm it up the frog will eventually be boiled because it doesn’t notice the gradually increasing temperature. | 215060
If you’re trying to change how you act or react to others, especially children, you may not think a Coke machine would be useful to remember. And yet… | 215060
While in graduate school, a friend expressed her frustration with our major advisor. My friend’s dog had gotten loose and had a number of scrapes from running through the woods. She called the advisor to explain she needed to reschedule a meeting due to having to take her dog to the veterinarian. What upset my friend was the advisor’s response: “so you’re choosing to take care of your dog instead of making our meeting.” Now this was obviously not the empathic response one would hope...| 215060
How can trying to escape feelings make them worse? In my view, emotions are a part of our nature. The approach we can sometimes use is to rely on things that can immediately take the emotion away. These are very rarely good for us. The problem is they often work - in the short term. | 215060
As the new year is beginning, so is the engagement in resolutions. The most common seem to involve exercising and weight loss. It’s often humorous when this is mentioned, as many of us have attempted this and recognize how rarely these resolutions hold. A quick review of information suggests some people start fading in their gym attendance in mid-January, while March is the time of the biggest decline in gym attendance. | 215060
Recognizing and accepting our emotions is powerful. Sometimes, however, we’re not completely aware of our emotional state. There have been numerous clients in my office who have felt anxious or depressed for so long that they are unaware of their emotional experience. For this reason, I often encourage them to pay attention to their thoughts. After recognizing the emotion driving these thoughts, they’re better able to help themselves. | 215060
Have you found yourself having a difficult time speaking up for yourself? Do you find yourself keeping from saying or doing things that are in your best interest because you want to make sure others like you? Does this lead you to feeling overwhelmed and, at times, resentful for the lack of appreciation others show for your “selfless” behavior? If so, you are dealing with a problem very often seen in psychologists’ offices – assertiveness. | 215060
If someone was to offer you as much ice cream or Aspirin as you’d like for the next month, which would you choose? Most people would answer ice cream (or their favorite treat). After all, wouldn’t having something delicious beat having something that may not be needed? The reality is, however, many of us do the opposite– make decisions based on protecting themselves from possible pain, rather than seeking what would be fulfilling. | 215060
A few days ago I was listening to a favorite podcast when the guest described a view that fit what I’d thought of in the past. It immediately got my attention. I listened closely. My thoughts about the guest became more positive as I processed his perspective. If the guest had stated a perspective that didn’t fit with my thinking or went against it, my attention would likely have waned or I may have created counter arguments in my head. | 215060
Something I’m seeing more and more is the stress of our current situation settling in. I experienced a hint of it in my experiences at the grocery store. A little over a month ago, right as sports were cancelled and we were realizing this COVID-19 thing was a big deal, there was a buzz when I went to grab a few things at the store. It was somewhat similar to the energy after a winter storm is forecast – people rush to get supplies, with a bit of adrenaline from something different happeni...| 215060
You probably miss spending time with your friends. You may miss going to a restaurant to eat, talk, and people watch. You likely miss your groups, your church, or your freedom to do things without having to keep your distance from others. You may also have the odd experience of missing it, while also being apprehensive when people get physically close to you. This is all normal. | 215060
You may have seen clips from Admiral William McRaven’s commencement speech at the University of Texas in 2014 where he provides several lessons he’s learned about being more successful and efficient in life. Admiral McRaven begins with the importance of making our bed each day. | 215060
Change is the cause of much of our stress. Rapid, unwanted change can be highly stressful. We’re in the midst of such a time. While some have thus far been relatively unaffected by COVID-19, many have been significantly affected. I’ve seen the spectrum – many are dealing with loss, anxiety, worry, isolation, depression, and helplessness, while others are experiencing this time as an opportunity to connect with family in a way their lives haven’t previously allowed. | 215060
These times can be overwhelming. We have the ability to receive unprecedented amounts of information. Multi-tasking is generally viewed as an admirable trait. Particularly if we’re feeling anxious, the desire to “take care” of everything and to make it right often has us going in a number of directions. Yet when we consider the things that soothe and bring us calm, they involve getting singular. | 215060
As we deal with the tremendous changes required to address COVID-19, there are a variety of painful emotions many are experiencing. These changes, fearful messages, and the unknown are fertile ground for our anxiety. Our anxiety is present to alert and protect us from dangers, so its presence is understandable and even appropriate. | www.campbellps.com
Get psychological care, psychotherapy, and psychological tests by calling Campbell Psychological Services, PLLC to schedule your appointment.| www.campbellps.com
We often notice others’ mistakes more easily than our own. When we have the ability to be objective and not filled with the emotion of a situation, mistakes seem so obvious. One of the more common times this occurs is when we see others making mistakes in relationships – especially when they keep giving chances to others that we can objectively see the person doesn’t appear to deserve. | www.campbellps.com
