One of the weird things that comes up when you write about topics like sex, self-improvement or relationships is how often you face the question of whether or not to mine your own life for content. On the one hand, it's one of the oldest and hoariest cliches for columnists and essayists to use their own lived experiences as fodder for material. It can feel... well, kinda hacky in some ways. It can feel as though you're trying to sell the idea that you live this crazy, adventurous or glamorous...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
A large number of the emails I get for Ask Dr. NerdLove, both here and at Kotaku start off the same way: 'I've never had a girlfriend'. Many my readers have a lot of anxiety over finding their first relationship. In fact, many feel that they're essentially doomed because they've never seriously ((for suitably variable definitions of 'serious')) dated anyone before. They see the large gap in their relationship resume as a glaring, unmissable flaw, as though asking somebody out were applyin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Here's something that most relationship coaches aren't going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to stop fighting. Doesn't seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you'll understand. Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you're you're dating someone, you're going to fight. There's no getting around it. It's the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person - ther...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: I am contemplating a big move and looking for a distanced opinion. A few years ago, I met Awesome Guy at a work event. We hit it off, had a lot in common, and amazing chemistry. We both travel a lot for work and actually live in separate countries. Neither of us was looking for 'the one' at the time, so we agreed to see each other casually when we found each other in the same city, which was about once a month or so. This worked out well for almost a year, but as you can| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Dr. NerdLove, I turned my life around, but still can't find a date. I suppose I'm your typical young adult geek. I live in a small apartment with collectible toys on shelves. I play video games, gossip on pop culture websites and don't sleep well unless I've watched an episode of Star Trek to make me comfortable in bed. I'm also short, pudgy and often feel quite unattractive. I've had a single long-term relationship a few years ago, but things have been quiet since. I felt my life was goin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the hardest things to keep in mind when it comes to dating is that the work doesn't end just because you're in a relationship. It's easy to get tunnel vision, especially when you've been working so hard at the early stages - developing your approach, learning how to generate attraction, etc. - that once you start having some successes... you don't know quite what to do next. We're taught to have unrealistic expectations about relationships; even when we understand intellectually that ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He has severe ADHD and has struggled to learn to live with it. His roommate thinks he's a lazy slob. How can he get her to understand his condition?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's 39, on the spectrum, lives with his parents and still a virgin. How can he get over this late start and finally start dating?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Dr. NerdLove, I've known my partner for around 1.5 years. He's from a foreign country, but his parents are from here. He moved here half a year ago, the plan was to stay here for 1-2 years to learn the language and work. Entering the relationship was a difficult decision for him, because he never thought he would commit to someone outside of his own country. However, we decided to commit even though the future seems scary for both of us. He's been having a hard time adjusting (he barely sp...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Right now, we are living through the most stressful, even outright traumatic year that most of have ever faced in our lives. Even if you’re in a relatively good place, we’re all getting hit with bad news, more stories of police violence, political corruption, the continuing pandemic, even potential fallout from the election. It can be incredibly hard to have a positive attitude and solid confidence. It can be hard not to look around and say “how am I supposed to have the strength to kee...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
The #1 reason why so many men struggle with dating is very simple: they don't know what it takes to be successful with women. Attraction isn't a checklist; having all the right 'stats' isn't going to magically make you attractive to women. Learning to succeed with women isn't about having the right car or the right body, it's about learning how to become your best, most desirable self. That's why this week, I'm going to teach you the 5 things YOU need to know in order to succeed with women, b...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Doc, This isn’t really a relationship question but if anyone would know how to advise a socially awkward introvert, it’s you! Let’s start with some background on me. I’m a 26 year old woman with social anxiety and depression (currently in therapy and on pills) and suspected Aspergers or ADHD too (awaiting an assessment). I’m an only child, and I grew up with parents who weren’t close to their own families, so Christmas was usually just the three of us and I didn’t see much of...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Their on-again, off-again relationship is starting to drive her crazy. Are they a couple, are they just friends with benefits or should they just split?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Well, today was going to be a return to some practical topics. I'd been working on a column about approaching people and being able to talk to strangers. I had all my notes wrapped up, I had the rough outline ready to go… and then, well, you know how to make the gods laugh, right? I was somewhat amused when, as I was searching for one reference or another, I saw that Lifehacker ran a piece on talking to strangers. The timing was felicitous, the resources surprising and the comments… well ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
What makes one relationship last, while another falls apart? Why do you seem to have found your dream relationship, only to have it turn into a nightmare? Your partner may seem perfect, but it takes more than shallow commonalities to make a relationship work. Just because things are amazing in the beginning doesn't mean that everything is going to work out on it's own. If you've ever wondered whether she's 'the one', or you want to know if your relationship has what it takes to go the distanc...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
