How Do I Stop Hating Myself For Being A Virgin? - Paging Dr. NerdLove
He hates himself for being an older virgin almost as much as he hates other virgins. How can he let go of the hate and negativity and be a better person?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He hates himself for being an older virgin almost as much as he hates other virgins. How can he let go of the hate and negativity and be a better person?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
After nearly giving up on love, she has met an incredible guy. Except he's much younger. And lives in a foreign country. Can they make this work?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's aromantic, abrosexual and has the attachment style of a feral cat. How can he navigate the dating world and find a relationship?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove,I'm in my thirties now and haven't dated since my early twenties. Some of that has just been life circumstances, some of it has been excuses using those life circumstances, but I've finally 'got' to the place I want to be, and now I just have to face the naked truth: I'm fucking terrified of relationships.It dates back to my main long-term relationship from my twenties. In retrospect, it basically followed a pattern of me trying to get her ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Things were going great with his new girlfriend, until he discovered her secret side hustle. Is he wrong to be upset that his sweetie has an Only Fans? The post I Just Found Out My Girlfriend Is On OnlyFans! Am I Overreacting? appeared first on Paging Dr. NerdLove.| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He had his first date in a long, long time! Now he's in an anxiety spiral that may cost him a second one. How can he get his fears under control? The post I Had An Amazing First Date. How Do I Keep My Anxiety From Ruining A Second One? appeared first on Paging Dr. NerdLove.| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's an average guy, who doesn't stand out in any way. How is he supposed to find love if women only look for the hottest of the hot?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dating Just Got Easier. No matter what you're looking for, Dr. NerdLove is here to help you find the relationship you want. Who Is Dr. NerdLove? Harris O’Malley is an internationally recognized relationship expert, dating coach and syndicated advice columnist. Famous for his ability to simplify complex dating dilemmas and solve the toughest relationship problems, he has long been sought after for coaching and advice. Harris and his work have been featured in or on Nightline, Fusion TV, Vice...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He and his wife hit a rough patch in their marriage and her behavior was getting shady. Could there be an innocent explanation for everything?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
The only sure path to improving your dating life is to improve yourself. But what happens when nobody else seems to notice these changes? Going from the sad sack loser - an 'average frustrated chump' in PUA parlance - to being someone who was confident and at ease with himself and who actually was skilled at meeting women, getting dates, getting laid - took years of work. I had to fight a lifetime of ingrained bad habits, self-limiting beliefs and the adoption of somebody else's identity of ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Straight talk time: confidence is sexy. Someone who lacks confidence - even if he looks like a GQ cover model - is going to be considerably less attractive than someone who may not have perfect facial features but does have abundant self-esteem. This isn't just 'rah rah self-esteem' feel-good bullshit; confidence actually alters how people see you. In a study published by the International Journal of Cosmetic Science researchers found that raising men's confidence - in this case, via the...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He wants to meet and date women but he feels like their lives are so different from his that they can't understand him. How can he learn to relate to women?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's always been very go-with-the-flow when dating, but now his current girlfriend wants to know if they have a future. How can he figure out what he wants?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He was doing ok with dating until COVID happened. After the lockdown lifted, his love life fell off a cliff and never recovered. What should he do?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
I've written a lot about the pick-up scene - usually about the negative side of things - but there can be good sides to. One of the things that was the most helpful back when I was in the pick-up scene wasn't what I was learning, but being part of a lair ((Yes, I know. But it's what they were called.)) Now granted lairs had problems in and of themselves, but part of what made it helpful was that it was a place for guys to come together and generally be supportive of one another. There was an...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Back in the bad old days, I did a lot of things I regret out of jealousy. Pretty much from middle-school onwards, jealousy defined the majority of my waking life. Everywhere I looked, other people had what I thought I wanted in life. Watching happy couples would alternately make me feel lonely and almost sick with envy. Watching movies meant watching people with lives - and relationships - that I wished I could have. Of course, it didn't help that I was surrounded by people who seemed to ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
The last six months has been the best relationship of their lives. Is it too soon to be thinking about marriage, even if they're incredibly happy?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: I just recently celebrated a three year anniversary. We've always gotten along really well, we have a good sex life, we have fun, we live together, and my partner is kind and attentive to my six year old daughter that lives with us part time. There's not a lot of intensity and depth but we're kind to each other and there for one another. There shouldn't be anything wrong, but yet... I find my mind straying. I have a really good friend. We've been friends for years, nothin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Her best friend's behavior has left her wondering if he ever liked her at all. Should she bring it up to him? Or should she just leave their friendship?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hello Doc! Long time reader first time writer. Your column has hit really close to home many times and I figured it couldn’t hurt to get your take on my situation. I am a hyper-independent female with a relatively active social life and am good with the opposite sex and dating. Sounds great right? Where’s the catch you ask? My problem starts when the sexy time ends and attachment begins. To be super cliché, I don’t do love, rather I don’t feel love, at least not the hearts and flutte...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He knows he has the skills to be more social, but he's still having a hard time connecting with people. How do you fix a problem you don't know you have?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Everyone is going to have awkward moments. It's a universal truth: no matter how cool or accomplished you are, you will do things that will make you cringe so hard your skin will crawl off you. Even people you suspect have everything together can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Chris Evans may be the living incarnation of Captain America, but he's also an awkward mess at times. If Steve Rogers gets terrified at dealing with social issues, who else might? Of course, for many of us, those a...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Every man she dates treats her like a therapist or secretary. She has needs and would like support too. How can she get men to see her as a person?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Whenever she gets a crush on her friends, the friendship suffers. How can she avoid hopeless crushes when ALL her crushes are hopeless?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His relationship was great at first. But most of her exes are still around and now he can't stop imagining her in bed with them. What can he do?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Two queer men are at their wits' end trying to find people to date and the apps are of no use. Where should they be looking for love?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Her boyfriend's bros were always a bad influence, but now they're trying to break them up! How can she ask her boyfriend to choose: her, or his friends?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
I love Fight Club. The book and the movie. In the middle of the macho posturing and the My First Anarchist Manifesto, it so neatly captures the angst of people who recognize that there's something missing in their lives and not knowing what the hell to do about it. We feel confused and lost and directionless and so we try to cover it all up by getting obsessed with things that we don't actually care about but feel like we should and buy crap we don't really need because we feel like it giv...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Getting better at dating is hard enough. It gets even harder when it feels like your own mind is fighting back against your attempts to improve yourself. When I was younger, I used to be a chronic insomniac. I'd be physically tired, but I could never actually get to sleep; my body would be exhausted but I could never get my brain to quiet down long enough for me to relax and pass out. Every night became an exercise in what I called 'riding the maelstrom' ((Because when you're a young nerd, e...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the things I like to do as a dating coach is to keep up with the latest research on relationships and dating. So naturally, I like to read the latest studies coming from esteemed peer-reviewed journals such as, er. Esquire Magazine. Joking aside, the article Here's What Happened When Our Bosses Forced Us on a Blind Date for Science - which wins an award for a headline that doubles as both clickbait and the title of a Chuck Tingle short-story - was an interesting experiment in social d...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Why aren't more women interested in casual sex? What can guys do to find women who're interested in a no-strings hook-up? It's time to talk about the TRUTH about women, casual sex and how to find it... SHOW HIGHLIGHTS: ▶︎ Why women prefer relationships to hook-ups and casual partners ▶︎ How the orgasm gap affects our relationships ▶︎ Why being The Cool Girl works against women AND men ▶︎ Why 'casual' sex is BAD sex ▶︎ What men can do to find more casual, no strings hook-...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Considering that we live in a post Sex And The City world, where vibrator sales are the new Tupperware parties and women are more empowered than ever to pursue their own sexual pleasure, it's tempting to think that men and women have finally leveled the playing field when it comes to casual sex. Women are increasingly feeling just as free to go out and find themselves a no-strings attached hook-up (which isn't as easy as many men like to say it is...) and wondering when leaving her underwear ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hey guys, before I get to today's letters, I want to let you know: next week I'm doing things a little differently. We're going to have a couple of guest writers who've generously agreed to share some of their thoughts and experiences with the world of dating from a woman's perspective. In fact, on Friday, we have a guest expert coming to take some of your questions about online dating from a woman's point of view. So for all of my female readers out there, if you have some questions about da...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Breakups happen. It's a fact baked into every relationship: all relationships come to an end until one doesn't. Sometimes the breakup comes screaming out of the clear blue sky while other times it's like watching an oncoming train and knowing you'll never get out of the way in time. But not every relationship ends with a loud and dramatic climax. Sometimes the end has already come and nobody has noticed. Your relationship is shuffling along like a zombie, putting on the empty performance o...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Having boundaries is an important part of emotional intelligence. Boundaries are how you keep toxic people out of your life. At the same time, however, it can be hard to enforce those boundaries. Humans are social animals; we have an instinctive desire to cooperate and to get along. But there are people who exploit those desires for their own ends. Users and abusers, parasites and emotional vampires, bullies and all-around assholes are all people who will take advantage of people who don'...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Let's talk a little about relationship longevity. Most relationships aren't going to have what it takes to go the distance. In fact, many relationships simply can't last because of a simple fact: you're not sexually compatible. It may not seem like it at first, while you're caught up in the throes of new relationship energy. Even if you're not quite at the same level, you believe You see, new relationships are easy. All those chemicals flooding your brain - the deluge of oxytocin and dop...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Estimated reading time: 17 minutes Hi Dr. NerdLove. I’ve been an enormous fan of yours for a while. From my perspective, your works (online dating books in particular) make it easier to navigate the material barriers to say the technologically not savvy. I bring up barriers for a specific reason, as you shall read. I met a woman at my best friend’s wedding. It’s his step-sister and we felt a connection pretty quickly. After giving me her number, three weeks passed and we went on an intr...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
She left an abusive and intimacy-free relationship only to end up in another relationship where the sex has died. What happened here?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Estimated reading time: 12 minutes Hi Doc, I’ve been reading this blog for years, and I have some questions.See, I’m an autistic 27 year old virgin university dropout (Years ago by this time) that worked a string of crappy jobs, with my most recent being not-so-crappy, so an advancement.I work from home, and am terribly lonely in my personal life.I have good friends, and different circles of friends but this post isn’t about that.I keep sabotaging any chance of a relationship, even a da...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Estimated reading time: 14 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: So, my husband & I have been married close to 4 years now. I love this man very very deeply but, I’m concerned that maybe he doesn’t feel sexually attracted to me anymore. Maybe I’m not as pretty as I once before or maybe he’s even fell out of love me. I’m not sure what is going on at this point. All I do know is the way he has me feeling about myself is affecting me mentally, emotionally & physically at this point. Our sex life ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His anxiety attacks got so bad that now, even talking to his girlfriend causes him stress. Did anxiety make him fall out of love, or was it something more?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His fiancee's stayed in the same dead-end job for years and there's no change in sight. Is it bad that he's frustrated by her inaction?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Doc, I've been reading your column for many years and found that thinking of what advice would I give first and then comparing it with your answer is a great way to gradually calibrate my views about relationships. So I figured I would ask for your holy Chair Leg now since I have no idea what advice to give myself (or rather - I do, but all of it sounds dumb to me and I suspect I am deceiving myself in some ways). For the context, I am a 27y old hetero guy and I've had some struggles with| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His life is in chaos and he's not in a place where he can maintain a relationship. But casual sex never worked out for him either. How can he find the kind of sex he ACTUALLY wants?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Straight talk: there are two phrases that a woman can say that will instill ball-shrinking terror in the heart of every man. The first is 'We need to talk.' The second is 'Where do you think this relationship is going?' It's the dreaded 'Defining The Relationship' talk... and nobody ever looks forward to it. The DTR talk has achieved an almost mythical level of terror amongst people - especially men, because it almost always comes at the worst possible moment, and suddenly you have to make de...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the hardest things that people face over the course of a long-term relationship is that the initial spark - what many in the polyamory community call 'new relationship energy' - fades. It's an entirely natural part of settling into a relationship; the initial honeymoon period fades and what was intense and exciting becomes calmer and placid. That initial rush of passion that had you banging out on every flat surface in the house and made every vaguely empty space a potential fuckstop...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His friends tell him he's a catch. Women say he's attractive. So why is he still single? What is the missing X-factor that will fix his love life?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
There comes a point in every relationship where you have to have an awkward or intimidating conversation you'd rather avoid. There's no getting around it. No relationship you'll ever have, whether it's with friends, family or lovers, will be without problems. If you've got two (or more) humans together, conflict is pretty much inevitable. It's easy in the early days, when great sex, or even just the thrill and novelty of a new relationship can paper over a lot of sins. When you're busy bang...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Mismatched schedules are creating mismatched libidos and it's driving them crazy! How can he keep the stress from ruining his first serious relationship?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
She was dating a great guy, but he didn't have 'it' - not like her new boyfriend. But she can't stop missing her ex. Was breaking up the right decision?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Guys spend a lot of time worrying about whether they should or shouldn't approach women they're attracted to. It's an incredibly common component of approach anxiety; you want to go introduce yourself to that cute woman you see, but you're afraid of getting rejected or being another unwelcome interruption in her day. But here's a secret you should know: women worry about rejection and humiliation just as much as men do - more so, in many cases, as many men react badly to being approached. A...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
An abusive childhood has left him afraid to let people in, so he rejects them first. How can he learn to stop running from the people who want to love him?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
A former shy kid has come out of his shell and gotten very good at meeting women and getting phone numbers. So why do these connections never go anywhere?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Her friends are angry about her non-monogamous relationships. Isn't it more important that she's happy? But what if her partners don't know everything?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Years of romantic failure have made him want to give up. How is someone supposed to feel desirable when all evidence says they aren't?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Doctor's Note: this column was originally published on 9/18/17 It's not a stretch to say that dating is something of a contact sport. Signing up for it means that you're accepting that you might get hurt. Opening yourself up to people means being willing to risk a broken heart. No matter how carefully you plan or how much you try to protect yourself, eventually you're going to have to learn to deal with pain and rejection. Sometimes you see it bearing down on you like a freight train. Other t...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Welcome to 2014 folks. It's a new year and ripe for potential and improvement. If you're like most folks, you've made some New Year's resolutions. Perhaps getting better at dating is one of them... Usually around this time, I make my annual tirade about how New Year's resolutions are wastes of time but I want to do things differently. You see, one of the reasons why so many resolutions fail is that you're addressing surface issues rather than the core causes. For example, f you're trying...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One thing I've learned over the years - both through my own experiences and from coaching others - is that men are all quivering bundles of anxieties and insecurities. We're not allowed to actually, y'know, voice most of these concerns - goes against Man Code, after all - but we sure as hell feel them. And it's that inability to actually voice our fears or anxieties that lets other people prey on them with snake-oil and horse shit. After all, why bother actually talking to somebody when y...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's afraid his porn habit is getting in the way of meeting women. Does he really need to kick his 'addiction' to find love?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Women often say that they want a nice guy, so why do so many of them think that nice guys are THE WORST? The trouble is that Nice Guy's behavior works against them; what they see as positive and respectful is actually pushing people away. Here's why being a Nice Guy drives women away... and why it can be so hard to STOP being a Nice Guy. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS: What 'Nice Guy' behavior says about them Why 'treating her like a queen' is actually unattractive How Nice Guys ruin their relationships Th...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove, I've been together with my boyfriend for a cumulative 5 months. We were head over heels for each other almost immediately. It was like something out of an Avril Lavigne song - he was a video game animator, she was a model, what more can I say? His father had passed away a year ago, and he immediately started to treat me like the only bright spot in his life. I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and was so grateful to him for legitimately wanting me to be happy ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He wants to develop an abundance mentality for his love life, but how can you do that when you never find anyone who wants to date you?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hey, Doctor. I've been on your site for quite a while, and found it super useful and relatable, with plenty of great advice. For reference, I'm a 24 year old male with zero relationship experience. Never had sex, never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, never even held hands. The most I can say I've done is been on one casual date that didn't really end up going anywhere. I've struggled with clinical depression all my life, something I only was cognizant of a couple years ago (I've ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's shorter than average and the women he's meeting tell him they like taller men. Can a short king find love in today's dating scene?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's desperately, cripplingly lonely… but he also can't stand meeting or socializing with other people. What is he supposed to do?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's struggled with chronic depression his whole life. Is it possible to date when he's still wrestling with a mental illness?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
She feels lonely and isolated and wants a robust social life, but people leave her feeling exhausted and annoyed. How can she be a better social animal?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi, Doc, I'm a chronically single bisexual dude. I spent my 20s pursuing my passions, and I honestly wasn't thinking about dating! Then I hit 30 and started to worry I'd missed the opportunity to find someone. I decided it was time to put effort into trying to date since it clearly wasn't happening on its own, but I wasn't in a good place mentally to start. It took a year of working on myself after that to get to a place where I finally feel confident and capable enough to actually put myself...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He wants to find love, but he's at the mercy of his treatment-resistant depression. How can he date when being depressed will always get in the way?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the weird things that comes up when you write about topics like sex, self-improvement or relationships is how often you face the question of whether or not to mine your own life for content. On the one hand, it's one of the oldest and hoariest cliches for columnists and essayists to use their own lived experiences as fodder for material. It can feel... well, kinda hacky in some ways. It can feel as though you're trying to sell the idea that you live this crazy, adventurous or glamorous...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
A large number of the emails I get for Ask Dr. NerdLove, both here and at Kotaku start off the same way: 'I've never had a girlfriend'. Many my readers have a lot of anxiety over finding their first relationship. In fact, many feel that they're essentially doomed because they've never seriously ((for suitably variable definitions of 'serious')) dated anyone before. They see the large gap in their relationship resume as a glaring, unmissable flaw, as though asking somebody out were applyin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Here's something that most relationship coaches aren't going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to stop fighting. Doesn't seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you'll understand. Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you're you're dating someone, you're going to fight. There's no getting around it. It's the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person - ther...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
They had been enjoying their stag/vixen arrangement until a series of mistakes ruined everything. How can he get over his jealousy and get his groove back?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
They caught feelings for a friend and co-worker. He doesn't feel the same way. What does this mean for their friendship and what does that make them now?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: I am contemplating a big move and looking for a distanced opinion. A few years ago, I met Awesome Guy at a work event. We hit it off, had a lot in common, and amazing chemistry. We both travel a lot for work and actually live in separate countries. Neither of us was looking for 'the one' at the time, so we agreed to see each other casually when we found each other in the same city, which was about once a month or so. This worked out well for almost a year, but as you can| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Dr. NerdLove, I turned my life around, but still can't find a date. I suppose I'm your typical young adult geek. I live in a small apartment with collectible toys on shelves. I play video games, gossip on pop culture websites and don't sleep well unless I've watched an episode of Star Trek to make me comfortable in bed. I'm also short, pudgy and often feel quite unattractive. I've had a single long-term relationship a few years ago, but things have been quiet since. I felt my life was goin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
One of the hardest things to keep in mind when it comes to dating is that the work doesn't end just because you're in a relationship. It's easy to get tunnel vision, especially when you've been working so hard at the early stages - developing your approach, learning how to generate attraction, etc. - that once you start having some successes... you don't know quite what to do next. We're taught to have unrealistic expectations about relationships; even when we understand intellectually that ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He has severe ADHD and has struggled to learn to live with it. His roommate thinks he's a lazy slob. How can he get her to understand his condition?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's 39, on the spectrum, lives with his parents and still a virgin. How can he get over this late start and finally start dating?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Dr. NerdLove, I've known my partner for around 1.5 years. He's from a foreign country, but his parents are from here. He moved here half a year ago, the plan was to stay here for 1-2 years to learn the language and work. Entering the relationship was a difficult decision for him, because he never thought he would commit to someone outside of his own country. However, we decided to commit even though the future seems scary for both of us. He's been having a hard time adjusting (he barely sp...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Right now, we are living through the most stressful, even outright traumatic year that most of have ever faced in our lives. Even if you’re in a relatively good place, we’re all getting hit with bad news, more stories of police violence, political corruption, the continuing pandemic, even potential fallout from the election. It can be incredibly hard to have a positive attitude and solid confidence. It can be hard not to look around and say “how am I supposed to have the strength to kee...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
The #1 reason why so many men struggle with dating is very simple: they don't know what it takes to be successful with women. Attraction isn't a checklist; having all the right 'stats' isn't going to magically make you attractive to women. Learning to succeed with women isn't about having the right car or the right body, it's about learning how to become your best, most desirable self. That's why this week, I'm going to teach you the 5 things YOU need to know in order to succeed with women, b...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hi Doc, This isn’t really a relationship question but if anyone would know how to advise a socially awkward introvert, it’s you! Let’s start with some background on me. I’m a 26 year old woman with social anxiety and depression (currently in therapy and on pills) and suspected Aspergers or ADHD too (awaiting an assessment). I’m an only child, and I grew up with parents who weren’t close to their own families, so Christmas was usually just the three of us and I didn’t see much of...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Their on-again, off-again relationship is starting to drive her crazy. Are they a couple, are they just friends with benefits or should they just split?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
She's getting ready to move to another country to be with her boyfriend. Will the stress end their relationship before it can even start?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Between women refusing to date a virgin and hearing that relationships don't last, he's losing hope. Why should he bother dating in the first place?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Occasionally, I'll get an email from a reader who isn't asking for advice so much as they are asking for permission. And nine times out of ten, what they're asking for is permission to break up with their significant other... because they can't manage to convince themselves that they need to. One of the most perverse aspects of being human is how hard we fight against our own best interests. Our brains are prone to a host of psychological effects and fallacies that convince us that we s...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
As someone who's been active on the Internet since 1994 — before there was a World Wide Web, even — I've seen a lot of changes over time. Few, however, have been as significant as the way that online dating has changed. I have seen things you wouldn't believe. Spring Street Personals, shared across Salon and The Onion. Paying to send messages and buying 'roses' to send instead of likes, winks and pokes. I watched major dating sites become infested with zombie accounts and new ones popula...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove, I've been a long-time reader of your articles, and after so many years, I now find myself in need of your advice. It's a bit of a long story. For context, I am a single 27-year-old man, and the woman in question is my ex, and is about to turn 26. We both work in the same profession. I'll start with the background first. In the fall of 2018, my ex and I first met when we were working together at a new internship. We clicked instantly, and the attraction was mutual. We bega...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
His girlfriend asked for an open relationship. What started off as a source of anxiety and pain is now amazing… so why does he feel so conflicted?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Emotional intelligence is one of those traits that tends to be woefully underdeveloped in men. Call it part of the toxic masculinity package; when things like 'having feelings' are treated as a weakness, men are taught to bottle them up and pretend they don't exist. It's not terribly surprising. After all, what's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear 'get in touch with your emotions'? In all likelihood, it's an absurd image of men sitting in a circle, crying like little girls ((No,...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's a softer, more submissive guy who wants to be the one to be romanced. How can a less assertive man find a more aggressive, take-charge woman?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Hey Doc, I met someone new back in December after I had decided years ago that maybe dating wasn't for me. When I least expected it, I felt sparks with a guy I chatted with at the park. He's kind and reliable, incredibly funny, very straightforward and earnest. He works to understand my chronic illness in a way that no one else has, and has supported me through some pretty bad episodes of depression. When we're together it feels re-energizing for both of us, when usually we find socializing...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
On Monday, we talked about how to know if someone was right woman for you. This week, I want to expand on that; after all, it's all just a theoretical exercise unless you're actually able to meet her. And I get a lot of questions from people about 'where to meet women'. And while I've covered this many times, it's important to realize that sometimes this isn't the question you need to be asking. After all, women are literally everywhere. Go outside, look around, there they are. But -...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
They're polyamorous, but it feels like they're not the 'right' kind of poly. Why do people insist that they need to follow a specific relationship style?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
He's an aspiring wife-guy looking for the muscle-mommy of his dreams. What's the best way for a less-masculine man to meet an amazon?| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Well, today was going to be a return to some practical topics. I'd been working on a column about approaching people and being able to talk to strangers. I had all my notes wrapped up, I had the rough outline ready to go… and then, well, you know how to make the gods laugh, right? I was somewhat amused when, as I was searching for one reference or another, I saw that Lifehacker ran a piece on talking to strangers. The timing was felicitous, the resources surprising and the comments… well ...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
Dear Dr. NerdLove: I saw this video on TikTok and am now trying to figure something out. @monstersincooperatedReply to @crypticcorvus #fy #foryou #dating #lgbtq #confused #reply #SoFiMoneyMoves ♬ original sound - Cooper vm.tiktok.com/ZMRoBMVxL My understanding was that generally, women would rather not be approached by men in just any public setting because they view us always as a potential threat, which I think is totally 100% fair. And I always took that as meaning we should avoid talkin...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
I want to talk to you for a moment about a client I had. He, like a lot of my coaching clients, wanted to know what it takes to be someone women want to date. This caught me off guard; this was a guy who had a lot going for him. He was tall, good looking and fun to talk to. And yet, he didn't struggle with meeting women so much as failed to so much as look at them. Never mind striking out, the guy got the screaming abdabs just thinking about going up to the plate. Once we identified just| Paging Dr. NerdLove
I have a serious question for you: are you someone who plays to win, or who plays to avoid losing? Most folks would say that, yes, they absolutely play to win. Even if they're not the sort of min/maxing, loophole-finding, cutthroat gamesman who makes board game night a flaming hellscape, people will generally say that when they play, their goal is to make a sincere effort at winning. However, if you look at people's dating life, you'd be forgiven for thinking that not only are they not playi...| Paging Dr. NerdLove
